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March 28, 2024, 06:42:43 PM

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Pre-internet social contagions

Started by touchingcloth, August 07, 2019, 11:08:29 PM

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touchingcloth

Seeing the Sting thread on the front page makes me think we should talk tantra. The first time I ever heard about tantric sex it was someone saying "you know Sting? He does that tantric sex. Tantric sex. It's where you have sex for a week without pulling out."

Now that I reflect on it, I have no idea if Sting does do tantric sex, if tantric sex is a real thing, of if it is whether it involves just not pulling out for a really long time.

thenoise

I think sting claimed to have tantric love-making sessions that lasted 24 hours plus, but later admitted that said session also included taking her out to dinner. What he actually meant was he was nice to a woman for an entire day.

touchingcloth

Quote from: thenoise on August 09, 2019, 09:01:27 AM
I think sting claimed to have tantric love-making sessions that lasted 24 hours plus, but later admitted that said session also included taking her out to dinner. What he actually meant was he was nice to a woman for an entire day.

Was she a woman, or was she half his age?

Jockice

Quote from: non capisco on August 09, 2019, 12:32:36 AM
That one about a Spanish 'Noel's House Party' style TV show where there was a hidden camera segment and Ricky Martin was meant to surprise a fan in their own house by jumping out of a cupboard. Only it went wrong because the fan got home and immediately proceeded to smear dog food on their genitals to get the family dog to lick it off, which it proceeds to do, and this is all going out on live television. Then Ricky Martin jumps out of the cupboard and goes "Dahhh-DAHHHHHH!!!! oh fucking hell, what?!!'

I mean...where do you start? I'm embarrassed to say I took that one at face value hook, line and sinker when someone told me about it in my callow youth. Spanish Noel just let the tape run when she started smearing Pal on her fanny, did he? "Esta es una buena televisión! Larga vida Crinkley Bottom!" The bloke in Ricky Martin's earpiece that was meant to inform him of when to jump out neglected to say anything about what was going on, did he? "No saltes, Señor Martin! ¡Se ha puesto comida para perros en la vagina! DIOS MIO! ¡EL PERRO LA ESTÁ LAMANDO AHORA!" Nah, he was just sitting there watching all this inter-special cunnilingus transpire and then went "aaaaaaaaand...NOW!", did he?

A friend of a friend is actually Ricky Martin's husband so I suppose I could ask.

Just like Chris Evans wanking to Baywatch then. Only abroad.

touchingcloth

You know when Noel and Chris and latterly McCuntyre pop secret cameras in people's houses ready for a surprise appearance on ve telly? Well, who are these cunts who ignore the OB van parked two doors down and still manage to seem genuinely surprised? Or the people who flicked their lights on and off on command without a cursory check for the MASSIVE TRUCK in their street first.

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 09, 2019, 09:07:46 AM
Was she a woman, or was she half his age?

Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me as I've been edging for three days now and I don't want to spoil yer blouse, pet.

touchingcloth

It's an interesting song, that, musically speaking. The verse is all dark and ominous a bit like Dirty Diana, but then there's this weirdly cheery synthy chorus, like two different songs bolted together.

gilbertharding

Then there's Sue 'Fuck Me 'till I Fart' Lawley - which was a story I definitely heard when I was at school (so mid 1980s)... I dismissed it, then forgot it as one of those things kids at school circulate without any basis in fact, and probably limited to my specific school for some reason.

Hearing Chris Morris say 'Fact me till I fart' on actual national television 8 years later was like an electric shock of Proustian revelation (or something).

Lordofthefiles

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 09, 2019, 09:43:17 AM
It's an interesting song, that, musically speaking. The verse is all dark and ominous a bit like Dirty Diana, but then there's this weirdly cheery synthy chorus, like two different songs bolted together.

My mate once told me that Dirty Diana, rather than being about Diana Ross, was in fact about Diana Princess of Wales.

Apparently Diana had been round to Neverland for a visit and as she was leaving she realised she needed a shit. Jacko said that she should just nip in the downstairs bog as they were already at the front door by this point.
While she was in the little room under the stairs MJ suddenly remembered that the toilet roll had run out earlier that day, at which point Diana exited the lav and walked up to Jackson, said her goodbyes, and left without mentioning anything to do with not being able to wipe her arse... hence the title of the song.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 09, 2019, 09:22:45 AM
You know when Noel and Chris and latterly McCuntyre pop secret cameras in people's houses ready for a surprise appearance on ve telly? Well, who are these cunts who ignore the OB van parked two doors down and still manage to seem genuinely surprised? Or the people who flicked their lights on and off on command without a cursory check for the MASSIVE TRUCK in their street first.

Apparently in the 80's the USSR did a soviet version of Eurovision, but because phones were relatively scarce / rewards for serving the party, they decided to get people cast their votes by flicking the lights on and off and have the power plants report the size of the spikes.

gilbertharding

I remember years ago, reading a thing about the electricity supply being capable of sending messages and how it might supplement the internet somehow. The article talked about how 'at the moment' they send pulses which can switch street lamps on or off.

I don't *think* that's really going anywhere. But then there's the thing about them transmitting actual electricity without wires. Dunno.

It's hard to tell these days, isn't it?

Jockice

Quote from: gilbertharding on August 09, 2019, 09:59:55 AM
Then there's Sue 'Fuck Me 'till I Fart' Lawley - which was a story I definitely heard when I was at school (so mid 1980s)... I dismissed it, then forgot it as one of those things kids at school circulate without any basis in fact, and probably limited to my specific school for some reason.

Hearing Chris Morris say 'Fact me till I fart' on actual national television 8 years later was like an electric shock of Proustian revelation (or something).

Probably limited to every single school in Britain. More like.

(Some versions of course had Sting doing the fucking. Obviously)

Jockice

PS, this is my favourite thread on here for yonks. And I'd never even heard of Keenan and Kel before I started reading it.

gilbertharding

Quote from: Jockice on August 09, 2019, 11:42:45 AM
Probably limited to every single school in Britain. More like.

Yes, but no-one could have known that (although they could have guessed) before it appeared in The Day Today (or was it On the Hour?). Which was my point.

gilbertharding

Quote from: Jockice on August 09, 2019, 11:42:45 AM
(Some versions of course had Sting doing the fucking. Obviously)

Not because of the 'Sue Lawley' chorus of So Lonely, surely?

(literally the first time I ever heard of The Police was when they had a jocular item about that mondegreen on Nationwide).

Jockice

Quote from: gilbertharding on August 09, 2019, 11:46:47 AM
Yes, but no-one could have known that (although they could have guessed) before it appeared in The Day Today (or was it On the Hour?). Which was my point.

And a very fair point too. Although I did hear it from friends who went to other schools too, so was aware it wasn't just a Notre Dame thing.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 09, 2019, 08:46:16 AM
Now that I reflect on it, I have no idea if Sting does do tantric sex, if tantric sex is a real thing, of if it is whether it involves just not pulling out for a really long time.

The version I heard was that him and his partner sat crosslegged facing each other without making contact, for hours and hours, meditating (until, presumably, eventually, he spooges.)

dr beat

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on August 09, 2019, 10:09:31 AM
Apparently in the 80's the USSR did a soviet version of Eurovision, but because phones were relatively scarce / rewards for serving the party, they decided to get people cast their votes by flicking the lights on and off and have the power plants report the size of the spikes.

Its true there was briefly a Soviet version known as the 'Intervision Song Contest', although wikipedia doesn't mention anything such about voting:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intervision_Song_Contest

Cuellar

I recently read the same thing though, can't remember where. Could have been that book on Chernobyl by Serhii Plokhy?

kalowski

Quote from: The Lurker on August 08, 2019, 09:53:42 AM
Definitely something about shoving pencils up his nose which he pierced into his brain. Or something like that.
Pencils up nose - bang head down on table.
And, if course, if that happens when you are doing your exams the exam boards immediately let everyone in the room pass.

Blue Jam

If someone dies during an exam, everyone else automatically gets a C.

If you die during an exam, you get an A.

dr beat

A suspiciously high number of university philosophy exams have featured the question 'Is this a question?'

And a suspiciously high number of students got a first by simply writing 'Is this an answer?'

Kalabi

See also - "What is a risk?", "This is" = 1st

gilbertharding


Icehaven

Oxbridge/Mi5/military interview question being ''How many lightbulbs are in this building?'', the idea to be to judge you not on whether or not you know the answer as you obviously won't, but on how you approach the question you see ahhhh.

Another Oxbridge interview one was having a tennis or rugby ball thrown at you as you walk in, and if you caught it and threw it back you got in. Actually it would explain quite a lot if true though.


Yussef Dent

Quote from: nw83 on August 08, 2019, 01:52:22 PM
Not sure if this is the same thing, but I was always puzzled when certain clothing, not advertised anywhere, suddenly became fashionable across a large area, like 'Eclipse Spliffy' jackets and that. I suppose this is like the "why did the original chavs all suddenly start dressing in that way?" cliche observation, but I'm genuinely interested in how.

Eclipse stuff was ridiculously popular round my way as a kid (Derbyshire), never appealed to me in the slightest, but like you it baffled me. See also, Technics jackets. My high school was awash with them and very cheap knockoffs.

Quote from: icehaven on August 09, 2019, 01:39:15 PM
Oxbridge/Mi5/military interview question being ''How many lightbulbs are in this building?'', the idea to be to judge you not on whether or not you know the answer as you obviously won't, but on how you approach the question you see ahhhh.

Another Oxbridge interview one was having a tennis or rugby ball thrown at you as you walk in, and if you caught it and threw it back you got in. Actually it would explain quite a lot if true though.

I heard Google do ask the first question.
Ask for Oxbridge, I was told that they'd ask interviewees how they take their tea or coffee, then make it wrong. If the interviewee complained, they got in; if they just drank it, they didn't

Philosophy exam:

Q: Is this a question?

If you answered "If this is an answer" you got full marks.

Though that might be a Newman/Baddiel routine.

Cuellar

Quote from: icehaven on August 09, 2019, 01:39:15 PM
Another Oxbridge interview one was having a tennis or rugby ball thrown at you as you walk in, and if you caught it and threw it back you got in. Actually it would explain quite a lot if true though.

Just read about this happening to disgraced England cricketer Peter Roebuck

Quotehe attended Millfield School where his mother was a mathematics teacher and his father an economics teacher. The headmaster, Jack Meyer, a former Somerset County Cricket Club Captain, had offered his parents employment at the school so that they could afford the fees. Meyer was an unconventional headmaster who wanted to encourage cricket talent. On entering Meyer's office for the interview for admission, Roebuck found an orange flying through the air towards him; he caught it, and in his book It Never Rains speculated whether he would have got into Millfield if he had dropped it

Blue Jam

What about the job interview where you're offered a biscuit: If you take the pink wafer it means you're too childish, if you take the rich tea it means you settle for mediocrity, and if you take the chocolate digestive it means you only accept the best andf you get the job?

I bet that has actually happened at a media company somewhere, along with people actually sending their CV along with a shoe and the explanation "I wanted to get my foot in the door".