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March 28, 2024, 07:59:37 PM

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Pre-internet social contagions

Started by touchingcloth, August 07, 2019, 11:08:29 PM

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Cuellar

I don't think I've ever been offered anything at a job interview, let alone had another flung at me. I'd like to think that if they pulled any stupid shit like that I'd tell them to get fucked. Doubt it though.

gilbertharding

I heard that somewhere they get all the CVs in an unsorted pile, and then take the top half and throw them in the bin sight unseen - because 'they don't want unlucky people working there.'

I once told someone this and pretended I thought it was actually a fairly decent way of getting rid of half of the hundreds of people who were chasing a single position. I was shocked by how violently they disagreed with me. But rationally, you might as well do that.

Icehaven

Quote from: Blue Jam on August 09, 2019, 02:07:28 PM

I bet that has actually happened at a media company somewhere, along with people actually sending their CV along with a shoe and the explanation "I wanted to get my foot in the door".

I'd only give them the job if their actual foot was in it.

Edit, No, no I've rethought it; I'd only give them the job if they'd said ''I wanted to get a foot in the door'', and it was someone else's foot, because this shows resourcefulness, problem solving skills (the problem being how to avoid cutting off your own foot) and that they're health conscious and able bodied.

Icehaven

Quote from: gilbertharding on August 09, 2019, 02:22:11 PM
I heard that somewhere they get all the CVs in an unsorted pile, and then take the top half and throw them in the bin sight unseen - because 'they don't want unlucky people working there.'

I once told someone this and pretended I thought it was actually a fairly decent way of getting rid of half of the hundreds of people who were chasing a single position. I was shocked by how violently they disagreed with me. But rationally, you might as well do that.


A while ago we had 81 applications for a post at my work, and my boss at the time told me they'd immediately discounted nearly half because they hadn't provided any personal statement/supporting information, they'd just completed the form and either ignored or didn't notice the bit at the end that said ''please attach any further information that may support your application.'' There's similar tales of application forms that explicitly say not to attach your CV, so anyone who does is immediately rejected, however good the CV is.

Blue Jam

#154
Quote from: icehaven on August 09, 2019, 02:28:27 PM
I'd only give them the job if their actual foot was in it.

Edit, No, no I've rethought it; I'd only give them the job if they'd said ''I wanted to get a foot in the door'', and it was someone else's foot, because this shows resourcefulness, problem solving skills (the problem being how to avoid cutting off your own foot) and that they're health conscious and able bodied.

That is actually how you get into the SAS. I know, because my friend's cousin's nephew's friend's aunt knows someone who is in the SAS and she said so.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Kalabi on August 09, 2019, 01:14:40 PM
See also - "What is a risk?", "This is" = 1st

See also - "What is the definition of bravery?" - "This."

Like a twat, I didn't notice that someone else already did the "is this a question" philosophy exam thing.  Still think it was Baddiel who popularised that one though.

I just remembered another bit of Oxbridge interview folklore - that, upon entering the interview room, you'd be asked to through a brick/stone through the window.  The right answer was to open the window first, aaaaaaah.  Which then brought on a philosophical debate as to whether the window was the hole or the glass.  Brightest minds in the country, mate.

gilbertharding

Quote from: icehaven on August 09, 2019, 02:47:37 PM

A while ago we had 81 applications for a post at my work, and my boss at the time told me they'd immediately discounted nearly half because they hadn't provided any personal statement/supporting information, they'd just completed the form and either ignored or didn't notice the bit at the end that said ''please attach any further information that may support your application.'' There's similar tales of application forms that explicitly say not to attach your CV, so anyone who does is immediately rejected, however good the CV is.

Like I say, it *seems* harsh - someone in that pile of rejects might have been perfect for the job (and vice versa). So what if they can't read and/or comply with simple written instructions, right?

But if you've got 81 applicants, the chances are you'll still be able to pick someone who's a great team player, has all the qualifications and the right attitude AND CAN ALSO competently apply for the job in the first place.

gilbertharding

Quote from: Darles Chickens on August 09, 2019, 03:21:25 PM
Like a twat, I didn't notice that someone else already did the "is this a question" philosophy exam thing.  Still think it was Baddiel who popularised that one though.

I just remembered another bit of Oxbridge interview folklore - that, upon entering the interview room, you'd be asked to through a brick/stone through the window.  The right answer was to open the window first, aaaaaaah.  Which then brought on a philosophical debate as to whether the window was the hole or the glass.  Brightest minds in the country, mate.

Then there's The Barometer Question, which I heard as an anecdote told by Liberal Democrat child molestor Clement Freud, but turns out to be older than that: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barometer_question#Internet_meme


touchingcloth

Quote from: Darles Chickens on August 09, 2019, 03:21:25 PM
Like a twat, I didn't notice that someone else already did the "is this a question" philosophy exam thing.  Still think it was Baddiel who popularised that one though.

I just remembered another bit of Oxbridge interview folklore - that, upon entering the interview room, you'd be asked to through a brick/stone through the window.  The right answer was to open the window first, aaaaaaah.  Which then brought on a philosophical debate as to whether the window was the hole or the glass.  Brightest minds in the country, mate.

Student walks into a 2 (or 4, 8, 5,000 - it varies by telling) hour philosophy exam. Opens the paper, one question: "So?". Answers "So what?", walks out and goes home. Scores 100% (and gets offered a professorship).

Student takes a multichoice exam, gets every single question wrong. Scores 100% cos the only way to get all the wrong answers is to know all the right ones. Ahhhh.

Quote from: gilbertharding on August 09, 2019, 03:34:09 PM
Then there's The Barometer Question, which I heard as an anecdote told by Liberal Democrat child molestor Clement Freud, but turns out to be older than that: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barometer_question#Internet_meme
Brilliant! That one is funny because more thought went into the 'silly' answer than into the original question

Jockice

Q: Define the difference between ignorance and apathy.
A; I don't know and I don't care.

Instant first.

Linguistics lecturer says 'Using a double negative in English creates a positive. But using a double positive doesn't create a negative'.
'Yeah yeah.', says a wag in the audience.

The wag was crowned King of Linguistics, and the lecturer had to become his butler.

Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: gilbertharding on August 09, 2019, 02:22:11 PM
I heard that somewhere they get all the CVs in an unsorted pile, and then take the top half and throw them in the bin sight unseen - because 'they don't want unlucky people working there.'


It was a viz top tip. Something like "Employers. Avoid hiring unlucky people by throwing half of all job applications in the bin."

Quote from: Blue Jam on August 09, 2019, 02:07:28 PM
What about the job interview where you're offered a biscuit: If you take the pink wafer it means you're too childish

Reminds me of another one from school - apparently ice cream wafers/cones were made out of saliva (presumably on the same principle that the edible birds' nests in Chinese soup are made of birds' saliva).

It wasn't specified which creature the saliva was sourced from, but I enjoy the mental image of an ice cream cone factory full of people paid to drool into a big vat.

kalowski

Quote from: Clatty McCutcheon on August 09, 2019, 05:31:54 PM
Reminds me of another one from school - apparently ice cream wafers/cones were made out of saliva (presumably on the same principle that the edible birds' nests in Chinese soup are made of birds' saliva).

It wasn't specified which creature the saliva was sourced from, but I enjoy the mental image of an ice cream cone factory full of people paid to drool into a big vat.
Wasn't there also something about Skittles and ants?

Blue Jam

I have to wonder if some of this comes from Roald Dahl's first autobiography, Boy, and that story about his schoolfriend whose parents were medics and told him never to eat licorice because it was made out of compressed rat carcasses. Not because they just wanted him to eat less sugar, of course...

touchingcloth

I sat in on an interview once. We didn't use any fancy techniques like offering a selection of biscuits and noting down the choice, but we did give them a glass of water at the start in case they were thirsty.

One candidates first action on sitting down was to knock their glass of water over, spilling it over their paper, our paper, their bag and the conference phone on the table. To paraphrase Alan Partridge, it was ruined.

Their response to that was to say "well, I've fucked this up" and then gamely soldier on with answering all of the interview questions.

Icehaven

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 09, 2019, 06:42:40 PM
I sat in on an interview once. We didn't use any fancy techniques like offering a selection of biscuits and noting down the choice, but we did give them a glass of water at the start in case they were thirsty.

One candidates first action on sitting down was to knock their glass of water over, spilling it over their paper, our paper, their bag and the conference phone on the table. To paraphrase Alan Partridge, it was ruined.

Their response to that was to say "well, I've fucked this up" and then gamely soldier on with answering all of the interview questions.

When I was interviewed for my current job I was told to help myself to a glass of water at the start, so I naturally offered to pour the two interviewers a glass as well before pouring my own. I like to think that act of basic good manners had something to do with why I got the job, and that it wasn"t just because I was the only candidate.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: touchingcloth on August 09, 2019, 06:42:40 PM
Their response to that was to say "well, I've fucked this up" and then gamely soldier on with answering all of the interview questions.

Exactly the sort of person you want in a crisis. Imagine if this sort of person worked for BP.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on August 09, 2019, 07:19:01 PM
Exactly the sort of person you want in a crisis. Imagine if this sort of person worked for BP.

Ha, it actually wasn't that which lost him the interview and he wouldn't have got the job even sans spill. He's a client of ours now and doing a good job at the place he's at even though he wasn't right for the role he interviewed for here, is the boring coda to the story I didn't bother writing until now.

We're a sweary place and brutally honest with clients when something we've done has caused issues, so based on that alone you're right and he'd be perfect in some regards.

Funnier when it's just a man destroying a phone, though, innit.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: kalowski on August 09, 2019, 05:34:00 PM
Wasn't there also something about Skittles and ants?

You're probably thinking of red food colouring being made from Cochineal, some kind of little bug.
I've a feeling in the 90's some products started using something else for their red colouring, or maybe they just disguised it by renaming it as an E number.

Avril Lavigne

Quote from: Astronaut Omens on August 09, 2019, 04:34:45 PM
Linguistics lecturer says 'Using a double negative in English creates a positive. But using a double positive doesn't create a negative'.
'Yeah yeah.', says a wag in the audience.

Which is rubbish really because you could say one 'yeah' sarcastically and still sound negative.  Yet the wag in the story wasn't being sarcastic at all, because he went on to become Georgie Fame.

petril

Quote from: Avril Lavigne on August 09, 2019, 07:40:13 PM
Which is rubbish really because you could say one 'yeah' sarcastically and still sound negative.  Yet the wag in the story wasn't being sarcastic at all, because he went on to become Georgie Fame.

The version I used to hear involved a linguistics professor at one of the Glasgow Unis talking about Russian being the only language where a double-positive becomes negative. Cue voice from the back, "aye, right".

it is next to impossible to say "aye right" in a weegie accent and not sound utterly sar-CAR-stic

beanheadmcginty

If I was the examiner in that barometer situation I would have failed the smart arse kid because at no point did I say he could use a piece of string as well as the barometer, so his answer is shit and wrong.

gib

Quote from: beanheadmcginty on August 09, 2019, 10:17:19 PM
If I was the examiner in that barometer situation I would have failed the smart arse kid because at no point did I say he could use a piece of string as well as the barometer, so his answer is shit and wrong.

Yes, may as well have cut out measuring the string and just dangled the fucking barometer down with a long tape measure.

Find someone who knows the height of the building and threaten to smash their face in with the barometer if they don't tell you the answer.

The Lurker

Quote from: non capisco on August 09, 2019, 12:07:36 AM
Where the fuck did the weirdly specific one that Lisa Stansfield froze her own turds and used them as dildos come from?  "You know why they're called Pet Shop Boys, don't you?" at least had the band name as an origin.

I think I've mentioned this before but I found CaB by searching for stuff like "Lisa Stansfield turd", "Sarah Greene pool table", "Debbie McGee Alsatian" etc on Google and finding loads of urban legends threads from this place about them. For all we know, they could've been made up to drive traffic to this very forum. Makes you think.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: gib on August 09, 2019, 10:47:15 PM
Yes, may as well have cut out measuring the string and just dangled the fucking barometer down with a long tape measure.

Find someone who knows the height of the building and threaten to smash their face in with the barometer if they don't tell you the answer.

If you're measuring the difference in air pressure, just carry the barometer down the stairs.

touchingcloth

My barometer is my phone so I just say HEY SIRI HOW TALL IS THAT BUILDING CUNT