Author Topic: Sting RIP  (Read 1528 times)

Head Gardener

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Sting RIP
« on: August 08, 2019, 05:21:47 PM »
PED to shit in that film Dune, bet he's put on weight since eh?




Blumf

  • Not long now
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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2019, 05:34:12 PM »
It'd a shame M&S don't make those undies any more, could do with a pair.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2019, 05:48:49 PM »


"BELLEND!!"


Great White Ape

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2019, 05:51:13 PM »
Christ in fuck, don't do this to me, not after Berman.

You're right, though, he was pretty svelte.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2019, 05:54:27 PM »
PED to shit in that film Dune, bet he's put on weight since eh?



laughed


"BELLEND!!"




laughed

Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2019, 05:57:21 PM »
Don't do this kind of thing, I was so hopeful that the boring cunt had finally died

Head Gardener

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2019, 05:58:46 PM »
others did it so was just being a sheep, I have had a long day in the fields excuse me

Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2019, 06:01:53 PM »
Straight up ruined my day finding out that Sting is still alive. Absolutely shaken.

shiftwork2

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2019, 06:24:33 PM »
FACT: The world's vainest man, Tyneside Sting got his full nickname from proffering his behind to drinkers in Gosforth pubs while shouting 'please, trainer to my anus'.

Beagle 2

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2019, 06:31:11 PM »
Never really got why Sting was an hilarious cultural agreed upon byword for cunt, but all I really know about him is The Police, who were brilliant, and his solo career, much of which seems dull but ultimately harmless. Is he a massive racist or something?

Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2019, 06:37:11 PM »
That's a pity. I'd already thought of a few shit disease-based puns based on his oeuvre before even opening the thread. If any tabloid journalists are reading, you're welcome to keep these on file:

SHAPE OF MY HEART (cardiomyopathy)
FRAGILE (brittle bone syndrome)
DON'T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME (tuberculosis)
CAN'T STAND LOSING YOU (double leg amputation)
IT'S PROBABLY ME (cannabis-induced depersonalization disorder)
DEMOLITION MAN (asbestosis)
INVISIBLE SUN (glaucoma)
SPIRITS IN THE MATERIAL WORLD (sake overdose in Akihabara)

Chollis

  • Master of Codes
Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #11 on: August 08, 2019, 06:37:57 PM »
One of my teachers went to school with him and said he was a bully and a cunt, and that is fact.

Chollis

  • Master of Codes
Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #12 on: August 08, 2019, 06:39:11 PM »
Put on a DEAD light

Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #13 on: August 08, 2019, 06:42:30 PM »
He was pretty much perfectly cast in Lynch's Dune then.

Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #14 on: August 08, 2019, 06:55:03 PM »
O STING, WHERE IS THY DEATH?

My respect for Stewart Copeland grew when I heard he used to have the words "FUCK OFF YOU CUNT" emblazoned across his toms, purely so he could take out his frustration at having to be in a band with that smug prick.

Head Gardener

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #15 on: August 08, 2019, 06:55:30 PM »
my true Sting story, I went to see The Police at Aylesbury Friars in 78/79 can't quite remember but I do remember The Cramps were the support and they were fucking AMAZING, anyway, I am standing around near the back of the hall and I spots this guy with bleach blonde hair hanging around smoking - as we did in them days. So I approach him thinking he's in The Police as he just looked like a pop star, so I approach with caution and say "hey Sting, can I have you autograph please?" to which the guy spits back "fuck off, I'm not Sting, I'm Stewart the drummer" oh, sorry can I have it anyway I ask, "sure, have you got a pen?" says the foulmouthed popstar, erm I didn't so I told him to wait there, scuttled off to the foyer to borrow a pen and came back to him and he kindly signed my Friars membership card 'Stewart' no Copeland or Police drummer, just Stewart.
What always tickled me about this meeting was his utter contempt for even being mistaken for Sting but when they were still on the way up it was an easy mistake to make, The Cramps blew them away that night though - truly magnificent.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #16 on: August 08, 2019, 07:23:05 PM »
One of my teachers went to school with him and said he was a bully and a cunt, and that is fact.

One of my teachers went to school with him to, the same one i went to. He’s mentioned in an early Sting autobiography. I’m guessing a different bloke. St Cuthberts?

samadriel

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #17 on: August 09, 2019, 04:37:11 AM »
DON'T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME (tuberculosis)

This easily becomes "Don't Stand So Colostomy", should Sting lose control of his bowels.

Johnny Yesno

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #18 on: August 09, 2019, 06:26:20 AM »
I remember years ago there was a letter in Viz asking 'When Sting dies will he known as Stung?'

Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #19 on: August 09, 2019, 08:56:53 AM »
Hardly ripped. He looks like a string of piss.

Jerzy Bondov

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #20 on: August 09, 2019, 09:38:58 AM »
I seen the Brit Awards on the television one year, ol Sting was getting some big award (looked it up, it's Outstanding Contribution to Music in 2002) that meant he got to do some of his songs for everyone to endure. But before he did any of his songs he gets everyone to hush up, shhhhhhhhh he goes, and he gets really close onto the mic and he really slowly says this:

Music. Is its own. Reward.

And everyone goes mental. FUCKIN YES! MUSIC IS ITS OWN REWARD MATE! STING DONE IT! HE SAID IT!! YES! YES!!!!!!!

I will never forget the wise words of the Sting, "Music is its own reward". Still kept his trophy and money mind you.

Better Midlands

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #21 on: August 09, 2019, 10:42:23 AM »
Hardly ripped. He looks like a string of piss.

Shredded I think they call it.

Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #22 on: August 09, 2019, 11:05:07 AM »
Never really got why Sting was an hilarious cultural agreed upon byword for cunt, but all I really know about him is The Police, who were brilliant, and his solo career, much of which seems dull but ultimately harmless. Is he a massive racist or something?
it's more wally isnt it. Tantric wanks and all that.

Bono, now theres a cunt

Twit 2

  • In the boneyard of dreams
Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #23 on: August 09, 2019, 11:45:16 AM »
His early solo stuff is great. The Soul Cages, in particular,  is a bloody beautiful album.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #24 on: August 09, 2019, 11:50:54 AM »
Concur - the Police are great. Sting is a wally (not a cunt).

H-O-W-L

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #25 on: August 09, 2019, 12:02:33 PM »
Don't do this kind of thing, I was so hopeful that the boring cunt had finally died

Agreed. I was hoping I'd never have to see his absolutely shit beard again.

Head Gardener

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #26 on: August 09, 2019, 02:01:18 PM »
THIS is the best Sting song obv

get the album, it's classic dick
https://mydickband.bandcamp.com/


Nowhere Man

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #27 on: August 09, 2019, 02:24:54 PM »
Hard to believe that the last thing he saw was Nigel Blackwell, singing on the roof of the Barbican RIP

Mister Six

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Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #28 on: August 09, 2019, 03:54:53 PM »
Never really got why Sting was an hilarious cultural agreed upon byword for cunt, but all I really know about him is The Police, who were brilliant, and his solo career, much of which seems dull but ultimately harmless. Is he a massive racist or something?

Same thing as Bono, I think - a symbol of smug 1980s righteousness. Taking noble causes (the environment, helping deal with poverty and famine) and making them unpalatable with perceived holier-than-thou moralising and - in Sting's case - New Age tantric woo woo.

I interviewed Sting about ten years back. He's incredibly charismatic and charming, but upon reading back what he'd said I realised he was also stultifyingly dull.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: Sting RIP
« Reply #29 on: August 09, 2019, 04:02:19 PM »
"You can hear it in my accent when I talk,
Dee doo doo doo, dee dah dah dah."