Please Keep Your Arms in the Pews During the Eucharist

[Blumf]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/09/helter-skelter-installed-in-nave-of-norwich-cathedral-ornate-roof

A cathedral has installed a 55ft-tall helter skelter in its nave so that visitors can enjoy a better view of its ornate roof.

The Rev Canon Andy Bryant, of Norwich Cathedral, said the idea came to him when he was visiting the Sistine Chapel in Rome.

He said: "I had the slightly risky thought of 'I know this is amazing, but actually the ceiling at Norwich Cathedral is every bit as wonderful'."

Hindu temple dodgem rides
Synagogue hoop toss, win a goldfish
Buddhist temple hall of mirros

[kittens]

this seems an impractical solution to the stated issue. am i to believe the only item he could think of to get people closer to norwich's beautiful roof was a helter skelter. what about normal stairs. no, this reverend just wanted a helter skelter in his church and came up with this paper thin excuse to cover his arse once people started questioning his sanity.

[touchingcloth]

If the ceiling at Norwich cathedral is every bit as wonderful as that of the Sistine chapel I suspect the editor would have bothered to include at least one picture of it rather than five of the helter skelter. I've seen lots of pictures of the ceiling at the Sistine, but I don't recall to ever seeing any of their helter skelter.

How long before internet conspiracy types stroke their chins and suggest that this proves a link between the church and a Manson-like group of child sacrificing satanists?

[Jerzy Bondov]

oh I see so it's one rule for him and another for me when I drive a dodgem through a synagogue

[Cuellar]

Mad cunt

[Captain Z]

and Jesus said "these churros are my body, and this candy floss is my, uh... beard. Take, eat and remember me."

[Birdie]

Helter Skelter?

Who does he think he is?

Charlie bleedin' Manson??

[gilbertharding]

Then there's this:



installed for the summer in the 900 year old cathedral at Rochester. Not sure how it's going to help anyone see the ceiling, but I admit I'm not a theologian.

[Sebastian Cobb]

this seems an impractical solution to the stated issue. am i to believe the only item he could think of to get people closer to norwich's beautiful roof was a helter skelter. what about normal stairs. no, this reverend just wanted a helter skelter in his church and came up with this paper thin excuse to cover his arse once people started questioning his sanity.

Scissor lift would've taken up less space and fit more people.

[Cuellar]

Then there's this:



installed for the summer in the 900 year old cathedral at Rochester. Not sure how it's going to help anyone see the ceiling, but I admit I'm not a theologian.

Thought this was a crazy golf

[Sebastian Cobb]

Mosques could do bouncy castles, they've already taken their shoes off.

[DistressedArea]

IT'S A TRAP!

[idunnosomename]

Unsurprisingly the guardian doesnt knowthe difference between a vaulted ceiling and a roof

[Icehaven]

This would be an ecuuuuuuuuumennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnicaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll matter.

[Alberon]

Christ! Has Church of England attendance figures got so low the clergy has got this desperate?

Just go all out and run it as a nightclub. You can still use it for weddings and funerals during the day.

Actually, now I think of it if I had a relative booked in for a funeral I'd demand the deceased got a go on the helter skelter. It's what Great Aunt Edna would have wanted.

[darby o chill]

Keep seated at all times or you may die. Shabba!

[Icehaven]

Imagine being a kid made to attend mass, trudging in with a heavy heart thinking it's going to be the same old tediously dull, dragging hour then almost fainting with delight when you see a HELTER SKELTER right there in the church!!! But then your Mum says you're not allowed to have a go on it because you're wearing your Sunday best, so you have to sit there listening to the joyous whoops of the other kids all the way through the service, nearly bursting with envy and resentment. So 20 years later you kill your Mother by pushing her off a fairground ride.

[pancreas]

I wonder what my organ teacher will say about this. He's played services in Norwich Cathedral multiple times. I suppose you would have to play Thunder And Blazes as the processional (that circus music).

[NoSleep]

Surely the vaulted ceiling is designed to be viewed from ground level? They could have invested in a few pairs of opera glasses for the curious.

[king_tubby]

So we've had a crazy golf cathedral, and a helter skelter cathedral, what next? A cathedral right up some vicar's ringpiece?

[kittens]

logically that would be the next step, yes.

[Dex Sawash]

I wonder what my organ teacher will say about this. He's played services in Norwich Cathedral multiple times. I suppose you would have to play Thunder And Blazes as the processional (that circus music).

Baby Elephant Walk (with Jesus)

[sick as a pike]

So we've had a crazy golf cathedral, and a helter skelter cathedral, what next? A cathedral right up some vicar's ringpiece?

A man with a soft felt wand.

[Icehaven]

Ball pool christening font
2p pusher collection tray
Candy floss communion wafer
Ice cream Sunday
I don't know anymore.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Ball pool christening font.

I'm seeing them at Infest!

[Icehaven]

Well having holy plastic balls instead of holy water makes sense, I know plastic is out of favour at the moment but unlike water it's reusable.

[pancreas]

Baby Elephant Walk (with Jesus)

Fuck, that would be great fun. Could I ... hmm ... No, I think Jurassic Park is probably the limit of my ability to play silly buggers.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Oooh love me

Pathetic

CofE could get more meaningful attention by stepping up its industrial scale bumming of kids.