Author Topic: Playmobil: The Movie  (Read 1531 times)

BlodwynPig

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Playmobil: The Movie
« on: August 12, 2019, 05:50:08 PM »
I just dont. I cant. I just dont... no... i cant

Thought it was a Lego movie advert until the full horror revealed itself.

Beyond parody. No jokes please, just silent introspection and solemn resignation
« Last Edit: August 12, 2019, 06:27:16 PM by BlodwynPig »

Twed

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Re: Playmobil: The Movir
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2019, 06:25:21 PM »
The credits will form a handy list of who to exile from the industry, and the Western world.

Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2019, 06:34:52 PM »
Probably those who have already been exiled, it was this or Sherlock Gnomes to find work.
« Last Edit: August 12, 2019, 06:50:51 PM by greenman »

imitationleather

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2019, 06:44:08 PM »
Loved Playmobil a few decades ago, but I suspect I may not be in the target audience for this.

DukeDeMondo

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2019, 06:50:39 PM »
I took the wee lass to see it on Friday. Dear me.

The best you can say about it is that it's the film that people who really dislike The Lego Movie without having seen it seem to think The Lego Movie is, for whatever reason. Clearly it's the film the creative team - if you can call any sort of team that would produce something like this anyway "creative" - think The Lego Movie is, too.

Awful stuff. Rotten. A shower of bloody bucket. Throw it away. 

Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2019, 07:02:24 PM »
i saw the trailer and saw they did that prolonged screaming joke every hack comedy does

also a british person

Twed

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2019, 07:41:57 PM »
Probably those who have already been exiled, it was this or Sherlock Gnomes to find work.


DukeDeMondo

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2019, 09:15:47 PM »
At least Sherlock Gnomes had one really funny scene in. That's five or six more really funny scenes than are currently stuck inside of Playmobil: The Playmobil Movie with the Memphis blues again.

I can't remember the specifics, mind you. What it had to do with. The one really funny scene that Sherlock Gnomes had in. It was a 2D animated sequence that went about visualising Sherlock Holmes's train of thought as he thought all about something to do with a particular number. Number 6 or number 9, I think it was. Something like that. Anyway I did some laughing, whatever it was. For a minute, maybe, we'll say. Whole minute of laughing. 

BlodwynPig

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2019, 09:36:09 PM »
Did you dab at the end of the laughnoming?

chveik

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2019, 10:32:29 PM »
At least Sherlock Gnomes had one really funny scene in. That's five or six more really funny scenes than are currently stuck inside of Playmobil: The Playmobil Movie with the Memphis blues again.

I can't remember the specifics, mind you. What it had to do with. The one really funny scene that Sherlock Gnomes had in. It was a 2D animated sequence that went about visualising Sherlock Holmes's train of thought as he thought all about something to do with a particular number. Number 6 or number 9, I think it was. Something like that. Anyway I did some laughing, whatever it was. For a minute, maybe, we'll say. Whole minute of laughing.

and Sherlock Gnomes gave us a great running gag in On Cinema

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2019, 02:10:36 AM »
The angry birds sequel was being heavily advertised throughout Gatwick airport I noticed

BlodwynPig

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #11 on: August 13, 2019, 07:30:49 AM »
The angry birds sequel was being heavily advertised throughout Gatwick airport I noticed

Engineered distraction for the plebs retreating from reality. I dont blame them but i hope they realise they are being neanderthaled.

Chriddof

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #12 on: August 13, 2019, 09:11:39 AM »
I loved Playmobil as a kid, many years ago. I would have hoped that a movie based on it would have had a certain 60s / 70s-esque Euro charm to it, with an additional humorous British flair like Eric Thompson's dubbing of The Magic Roundabout. But of course it wouldn't be like that now, why on earth would it? This is the 21st Century, where everything is tired and shit. I was a fool to even entertain the idea.

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #13 on: August 13, 2019, 09:27:07 AM »
Quite frankly any form of person that lacks functioning knees isn’t worth my attention or empathy.


And if the Playmobil people in this film do have functioning knees they are going against the original ethos of Playmobil, which is to lack knees at every turn so that each step looks like their pants have been shitted in.

Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2019, 10:37:47 AM »
The Sticklebricks Flick

Chollis

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #15 on: August 13, 2019, 10:51:40 AM »
Lego for cunts

Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #16 on: August 13, 2019, 11:38:52 AM »
K'nex the k'movie

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #17 on: August 13, 2019, 11:49:03 AM »
K’nex was great, do they still make it? I think I preferred it to lego

Chollis

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #18 on: August 13, 2019, 11:56:37 AM »
Pull the other one Ferris, K'nex was only for child prodigies.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #19 on: August 13, 2019, 11:58:55 AM »
Pull the other one Ferris, K'nex was only for child prodigies.

Good for making catapults to fire paper pellets at the other younglings. If this makes me a former prodigy, then so be it.

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #20 on: August 13, 2019, 01:44:31 PM »
The only interest I have in twisted fires is putting a Playmobil person on one until they have melted away.

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #21 on: August 13, 2019, 03:25:35 PM »
Nah, this film is good.
You lot are just jealous.

icehaven

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #22 on: August 14, 2019, 02:32:54 PM »
Why does Playmobil even exist? Is it for kids young/stupid enough to try and eat Lego?

BlodwynPig

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #23 on: August 14, 2019, 03:15:57 PM »
Why does Playmobil even exist? Is it for kids young/stupid enough to try and eat Lego?

Lego is the centrist dad of bricks

purlieu

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #24 on: August 14, 2019, 04:16:06 PM »
I think this might be the single most blatant cash-in movie I've ever come across. Who the fuck green lit it?

Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #25 on: August 15, 2019, 10:44:02 AM »
Playmobil was always the crap alternative to Lego. And so it remains.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #26 on: August 15, 2019, 11:40:16 AM »
In america, playmobil is very eurochic and mostly solid in boutique toy stores run by doctor's wives. One of those things from europe that is smart, good and healthy, like nutella.

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #27 on: August 15, 2019, 11:49:43 AM »
Playmobil was always the crap alternative to Lego. And so it remains.

I don't even remember Playmobil having any kind of construction element.  Wasn't it just figures, vehicles and playsets, all pre-made?

Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #28 on: August 15, 2019, 01:22:39 PM »
Even as a nipper I always assumed that Playmobil was just for the daft kids.

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Re: Playmobil: The Movie
« Reply #29 on: August 15, 2019, 01:32:33 PM »
In america, playmobil is very eurochic and mostly solid in boutique toy stores run by doctor's wives. One of those things from europe that is smart, good and healthy, like nutella.

It’s a kind of Sylvanian Families?