Author Topic: Why can't I...  (Read 892 times)

kalowski

  • the Zone of Zero Funkativity
Why can't I...
« on: August 13, 2019, 11:25:13 PM »
...
  • play the piano
  • speak Italian
  • understand quantum mechanics
  • read Latin
  • drive a truck
What can't you do, that you wish you could do, readers?

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2019, 11:32:00 PM »
  • Get hot girls to talk to me

kalowski

  • the Zone of Zero Funkativity
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2019, 11:34:11 PM »
  • Get hot girls to talk to me
Ha! Well, I can do that. (In my role as prison officer)

Birdie

  • Member
  • **
  • Hey
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2019, 11:35:37 PM »
Get hot guys to listen to me.

Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2019, 11:46:55 PM »

Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2019, 12:05:49 AM »
Get hot guys to listen to me.

I listen to you!

Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2019, 12:30:32 AM »
Bum a pornstar.

Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2019, 01:43:51 AM »
gargle my own balls

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2019, 08:05:19 AM »
Get hot guys to listen to me.

If you forewarn them what you are about to say then that way they will be primed to feign interest in it.

Ornlu

  • Hi Gavvy
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2019, 09:04:04 AM »
Why can't I
be a cow
anyhow?

icehaven

  • Please don't hi five people in Tamworth
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2019, 01:19:06 PM »
Speak German and Russian. I've tried to learn both at various times in my life (apart from at school) but after making slow but steady progress at first, typically when I didn't have much else to do, when I then did have something else to do and less time to learn and practice I forgot it all virtually overnight. I think only the total immersion method would work on me but that's not going to happen so I might have to accept myself as terminally monolingual.

Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2019, 01:24:27 PM »
Get the archbishop Makarios to listen to me. He's always busy.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2019, 01:50:45 PM »
Have a fuck buddy?

Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2019, 02:10:28 PM »
touch it?

biggytitbo

  • WHAT ABOUT THE GODDAM JAFFA CAKES ASSWIPE
    • theunredacted
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2019, 02:22:55 PM »
Why can't I
be that pie
gobbled up
by Ding Junhui?
« Last Edit: August 14, 2019, 03:23:02 PM by biggytitbo »

touchingcloth

  • Member
  • **
  • She is hot in the arse.
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #15 on: August 14, 2019, 02:26:30 PM »
Why can’t I - no matter how hard I try - spunk so hard I fire backwards into space?

Sherringford Hovis

  • (ᵔᴥᵔ)
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #16 on: August 14, 2019, 02:59:26 PM »
backwards into space?

Because your expectations are based around gravity-well centrism, planet-lubber.
Your unmodified ejaculatory movement through space is much more likely to be end-over-end helical due to your propulsion mechanism's location relative to the fulcrum of your mass.

Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #17 on: August 14, 2019, 03:14:07 PM »
Be you.

( I'm pretending to be Robert Smith, you see !!!)

What? Rubbish though this response is, would y 'all have preferred it if I'd rocked up in this thread with the blatantly orbvious other reply ?

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
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  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #18 on: August 14, 2019, 03:25:15 PM »
Why can't I bust a hole in the equator so that it permanently leaks

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #19 on: August 14, 2019, 03:30:40 PM »
Why can't I line my eye sockets with lead

Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #20 on: August 14, 2019, 04:34:42 PM »
...speak lion?

kalowski

  • the Zone of Zero Funkativity
Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #21 on: August 14, 2019, 06:01:48 PM »
...just switch off my television set and go out and do something less boring instead?

Re: Why can't I...
« Reply #22 on: August 14, 2019, 06:15:03 PM »
...
  • play the piano
  • speak Italian
  • understand quantum mechanics
  • read Latin
  • drive a truck
What can't you do, that you wish you could do, readers?

Nobody understands quantum mechanics. Some people can do it but they still don’t understand it.