Bow Ties Exploration Thread

[weekender]

Some chap on The Chase today had a Bow Tie on, and I can't remember ever needing or wanting to wear a Bow Tie, common as I am.

So, in the spirit of this forum, I thought I'd make a thread about Bow Ties.

Have you ever worn one?  If so, why?  Did you think it made you look cool, or with hindsight did it make you look like a pretentious twat?  Did you need to look like a pretentious twat because you were going to a pretentious dinner?

Have you ever seen anyone wearing a Bow Tie and, if so, how did you judge them?

Do you actually know how to tie a Bow Tie?

There are probably many more questions that could be asked about Bow Ties, but I've decided to stop thinking about them and just post this Bow Ties Exploration Thread.  Over to you!

And yes, I know - with a heavy heart - that an unfunny poster is going to make unfunny references to Doctor Who and anal sex, so let's just get that out of the way and concentrate on the task in hand, can we?  Which is Bow Ties and YOUR ACTUAL EXPERIENCE OF THEM, rather than the unfunny whimsy of a cretin.

[Beagle 2]

I had a thought I might try and wear a bow tie for my wedding so I bought a red one, and I put it on and I instantly looked like a fucking magician and it went in a box forever.

[Replies From View]

They were popular for a while when Matt Smith was the Doctor, I gather.


They just seem like a piece of costume to me, like most hats.  How can anyone wear a bow tie and not feel self-conscious?  "Tee hee I am quirky aren't I!" they are saying.  "Notice me!"

[Durance Vile]

I had to wear one for the couple of weeks I worked as a barman in an Irish pub. Never learned to tie it though, it was an elastic one.

There's no possible reason on earth for wearing a bow tie, except if you're playing snooker, because an ordinary tie could interfere with your balls. I remember Judd Trump experimenting with that weird hybrid thing when people still liked him before he went bald, but that never caught on.

[biggytitbo]

If you're not the 11th doctor or a snooker player than its not really acceptable is it?

[Small Man Big Horse]

Bow ties were actually really popular for a long while, but then this happened.

[jobotic]

I used to own a black one but I can't ever remember wearing it. I've never been to a black tie event and I don't remember a wedding where we had to wear one. I've never wooed Pat Butcher either.

It was elastic so I couldn't have been trying to look like Bryan Ferry either.

[idunnosomename]

I thought they were a bit naff but then I got one that rotates and realised how useful it was for hypnotising people to do my every bidding

so there you go.

[Nowhere Man]

They were popular for a while when Matt Smith was the Doctor, I gather.
?

Not even the best bow tie incarnation in the Beatles Dr Who.

[alan nagsworth]

I had a fake affluence party round my house a couple of years ago and I got a bow tie for that. It looked alright. I put it on my cat afterwards though and he looked fucking boss. I guess humans shouldn't try to play god

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yeah a couple of times to events where that was basically required.

Orgies, I'm talking about Orgies. I wish.

Either way yes been seen in public with a bow tie without being a black Muslim

[touchingcloth]

I have a black bow tie which I wear if I ever go to an event where evening wear is required.

Why do the black Muslims wear bow ties? As far as I am aware having read a google or two, it's not a requirement of either blackness or Muslimness or even Nation of Islamness.

[buttgammon]

I have two: a black one for tuxedo-type events and a yellow one that I wear with a white shirt and blue suit.

[Replies From View]

I just wouldn't go to tuxedo-type events

[Captain Z]

You're a tuxedon't.

[Replies From View]

You're a tuxedon't.

Anyone who isn't a tuxedon't is a tuxecunt, in my book.

[Absorb the anus burn]

Yes. I have 12 of them... I wear a bow tie at least once a week - they feel much lighter on your neck and oddly suit the shape of my face. One of my ties is from the 1950s and is a thing of beauty with delicate brown silk and arrow head sides. I have a theory that bow ties are almost punk in that you get extreme reactions from people - mostly they look at you with contempt which kind of suits me fine......... They are also good for attracting the eye of slutty ladies (and gentlemen) who think you're a perverted sophistciate.

Always self-tie btw... They're not hard to put on if you can cope with shoelaces.

[Replies From View]

suit the shape of my face.

And what shape is that??

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

My history teacher wore one because he thought he was being eccentric and unique, but he just looked like a cunt. Hope this helps.

[imitationleather]

Especially if you're wearing little circular glasses at the same time you just end up looking like every below-40 years old Republican pundit they have on Fox News.

[All Surrogate]

How old are you?

[Cold Meat Platter]

Harold Shipman was a bow tie wearer.

[Jockice]

Three times in my life as far as I can remember.

1) To a school disco circa 1981. a purple velvet clip-on one that belonged to my dad. Because I'd seen a picture of Dave Ball from Soft Cell wearing one. It suited him though. I just looked like a ponce. It was combined with this sort of silvery-coloured shirt that I thought was quite cool, even though my mum had bought me it, as she did with most of my clothes in those days. I can't remember getting any abuse for it but I didn't cop off either.

2) To my cousin's wedding at which I was best man in 1988. A light blue one. Not my choice. I was given no alternatives to explore. The bow tie wasn't as embarrassing as my hair, which I had decided to henna about three weeks before only to discover that it didn't come out. I looked like a belisha beacon on the photos. And also the fact that my newish contact lenses were really giving me gyp, to the extent that when my aunt showed me the wedding video about a year later she thought I'd actually become overcome with emotion at one point in the speech. Nope, the tears were because I was in agony and could barely see. Although I didn't tell her that.

3) A formal do in the early years of this century. I can't even remember exactly what it was or why I was invited but I had to hire a dinner suit for it. Literally all I can remember is one of the other guests being boxer turned commentator Johnny Nelson (or Johnny Smith as I knew him at school) and Neil Warnock being the main speaker. This is going to bug me now. What was it for? Why was I there? Did I shove the bow tie up my arse afterwards?

[touchingcloth]

Do your balls hang low? Can you swing them to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bowtie?

[Gurke and Hare]

When I was 2810, I loved snooker and everything to do with it, to the extent that I was a snooker full kit wanker. I had a five foot table, and I used to do the whole waistcoat and bowtie thing to play. Look, I was only 10 alright?

Also, I had to wear a waistcoat and a bowtie when I had a Saturday job as a waiter in sixth form. Why do snooker players dress up as waiters?