What should go on the Nathan Barley DVD?

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

Both genuine and sarcastic suggestions, please.

Genuine: Both pilots

Sarcastic: 'DAN REACTS' featurette

[imitationleather]

"It's an Ab Fab for the noughties" - Compilation of TV spots and Nathan's appearance on Comic Relief.

[Jemble Fred]

The contents of every cookdandbombd thread on the subject, with negative views narrated by Alan Rickman, and positive ones by Bernard Cribbins.

[TJ]

Genuine: two commentaries - one by Morris and Brooker, one in-character by some of the cast (preferably Nathan and his cronies). I actually think that with a bit of preparation, the latter might work.

Sarcastic: downloadable Wasp T-12 ringtones.

[Banana Woofwoof]

"How Nathan Barley Changed the World", presented by Jonathan Ross and featuring contributions from magazine editors discussing how it felt to be "got" by Morris while mugging at the camera.

[Ambient Sheep]

one in-character by some of the cast (preferably Nathan and his cronies). I actually think that with a bit of preparation, the latter might work.

Sadly I think it would only work as an emetic, for me, anyway.  What would anyone want with that gang sitting there sniggering at the action like an extremely unfunny Beavis & Butthead for the noughties?

Or maybe I've missed something there TJ - what exactly did you have in mind for them to be saying?

[NobodyGetsOutAlive]

Genuine: a navagational version of the promotional trashbat site, with all the trailers and photos on.

Commentary by Morris. And perhaps another one with the cast maybe.

Behind-the-scenes footage.

Extra scenes.

Sarcastic: Geek Pie wig.

Although I bet all you get are the 6 episodes, 2 and a half trailers, a terrible menu in the style of Nathan's site and the option to watch all of the episodes backwards and upside down.

[TJ]

Well, obviously it's unlikely that it ever would turn out this way, but I kind of see it as an opportunity to throw a bit of structure around the gags that were there somewhere but just flailing loose in a sea of naturalism. Like Nathan inventing a ridiculous backstory to cover something ridiculous he's done, and then seeing it all unravel onscreen. Or something.

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

The rushes of the cafe woman saying 'Egg?!'.

[Banana Woofwoof]

Behind the scenes documentary with Morris playing pranks on everyone.  

I'd geniunely like to see a commentary from them both though.  Not so sure about an in-character one.

[SimonJT]

A sticker saying Reduced: £3.99!!!!!!111

[TJ]

Episodes one to six of "Inside Victor Lewis-Smith" with commentary, "TV Hell" and "Bore Of The Year Awards" shorts, and the 'Crying BBC Globe' trailer.

[Ambient Sheep]

Well, obviously it's unlikely that it ever would turn out this way, but I kind of see it as an opportunity to throw a bit of structure around the gags that were there somewhere but just flailing loose in a sea of naturalism. Like Nathan inventing a ridiculous backstory to cover something ridiculous he's done, and then seeing it all unravel onscreen. Or something.

Ah I can see what you mean.  Yes maybe.  I suppose.  Still depends on how much of him one thinks one could put up with though.

[Neil]

All the scenes of Dan flirting with the receptionist which they cut out at the last minute because everyone started screaming "THE OFFICE!"

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

An apology.

[Hemorrhoid Shark]

A "Tour of Shoreditch" documentary, featuring a group of women on cocaine pointing to people who look a bit like Nathan Barley and giggling.

A Psychiatrist's Commentary, featuring a prominent psychologist discussing Dan's mental state and recommending what course of action he should take. To be joined by a doctor in Episode Six to discuss the real effects of falling onto one's thumbs.

[bennyprofane]

a genuine and honest making-of, in a series of 6 half-hour segments.  so we can see at what point they decided to chop pretty much all the traits in the casting list from the eventual on-screen roles of minor chaaracters.  and where it all went wrong.
realy detailed pre-prodcution notes, so we can see what else they had to chop out.
interview with plywright man from late night review, about how to 'get it'
'DO You Get It?' featurette; kirsty wark asks 250 celebrities and 69 people from london the question 'do you get it?' and they have to answer 'no' or 'oh, I GET IT!!!'
full music for everything original in the show.
a feature where you put in your height weight and star-sign and get told what to eat at that restaurant.
full copies of all articles written in course of program, by Dan JY? etc.
full 15peter promotional kit.
full navigable trashbat.co.ck (nathan's one, not the real world)
clip compiling all lewd sexuality from female characters.  including scenes too hot for satire.

[Neil]

Sketchified versions of all the episodes.  Then you could just whizz through the supposedly funny bits without having to watch all the dull meandering story-lines that never go anywhere and are never actually resolved anyway.  Then you can see your favourite bit of Doug Rocket talking in a funny voice or whatever without having to watch Dan talking about money or Claire looking pissed off.

[Bean Is A Carrot]

Comedy?

[alan strang]

A specially-recorded commentary featuring a bunch of drugged-up piss-headed layabouts vaguely pointing towards the screen and saying "It'shh an analuh-gy..." every five minutes.

Or, if no-one from Talkback is available, they could use some homeless tramps instead.

[Derek Trucks]

A ball of wool and some knitting needles so viewers can cover the plotholes.

[Neil]

The Satire That Had To Be Made:  Nicholas Burns justifies three years of wasted money and effort by excitedly explaining why those cunts in Shoreditch really needed to be satirised.  Features jam-style recreation of the time Morris and Brooker sent him to a party and one of those meddling Hoxton Idiots asked to borrow his lighter...when they already had one anyway!  Gah!!

I'd also like to see a section where Martin Coxall and John Walker are made to eat their fucking words.

[Slackboy]

A commentary track from the CaB massive; I think that would be ace.

Haven't read the rest of the thread so apols for the possible resuggestion.

You know I think it's actually possible for this to happen. It would be miles better than the runner's commentary on My Wrongs anyway. How many times have you heard a commentary track slagging off the feature? Almost never, that's how many*.

(*apparently the director's comm track on some shitty weird-ass J-Lo film does that, and it actually makes the dvd worth buying because of it. Something worth thinking about for Messrs Brooker and Morris I think there. If they wanted it to be a bit more original they could always spike you all with acid and helium or something.....)

[Dr David V]

- Multi-angle "the bit with the cat and the scissors" scene option.
- The entire series of Feedback Report
- Commentary by him from Casualty, consisting of him laughing for 2 and a half hours and saying "I GET IT!"
- A second disc featuring Nathan Baaaaaaaaaaarley - the original series, played backwards

[The Mumbler]

Both pilots, the real six episodes rather than the cutting room gash that was actually transmitted by mistake, interview with Peter Fincham about TalkBack's legacy,  interview with Derrin Schlesinger about the Smash Hits office circa 1988 (this would actually be great), episodes four *and* five of Bonjour La Classe, actual footage of the initial meetings with Caroline Leddy at Channel 4, PDFs of all the actual articles featured (The Rise of the Idiots etc).  Some of this I wiould watch, other bits I shall not venture near.

[Emergency Lalla Ward Ten]

A menu which links to all the 'Why are you reading this you detail-obsessed nerds?!?' type "hidden" jokes, with Morris and Brooker pointing to it saying 'Look, look, it's here, you anoraks, ha ha why can't you be like us and not care about anything, it's much more cool'.

A sound bin. To put the DVD into.

[Darrell]

Two hours of my life back.

[Regular John]

A commentary track from the CaB massive; I think that would be ace.

That would actually be pretty funny, you'd need to get a few beers in the funniest people and have an even loved/hated ratio for the program.

[Squidy]

Adam & Joe parody.

[hansen mork]

Some pretend money so when Dan asks claire for money the viewers at home can wave there fake wad at the tv screen and shout  "here!  i've got some you. can have mine Dan!". Maybe it could be part of a drinking game too.