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March 28, 2024, 10:54:38 PM

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hold onto your sides it's the ten funniest fringe jokes!

Started by madhair60, August 19, 2019, 09:45:54 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

imitationleather

If someone on here was as unfunny as these jokes I would have to stick them on ignore.

Quote from: thenoise on August 19, 2019, 01:01:46 PM
I assumed he improvised the last bit when the audience failed to get the joke (or, at least, failed to laugh).

It's easier to understand in print, weak sauce nonetheless.

Captain Z

Quote from: Cuellar on August 19, 2019, 05:03:35 PM
It's perilously close to one of Andy Dawson's bits on Mince, mind.

And yet still about 5x funnier.

Twed

Quote from: madhair60 on August 19, 2019, 09:45:54 AM
4. Jake Lambert
"A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. That's 20 cows'."
That one must be good because I've already seen it anonymized, turned into a text-image and shared on Twitter.

C_Larence

My dad's just called me up to tell me the floret joke, so obviously it's shite.

Twed

Quote from: Cuellar on August 19, 2019, 05:03:35 PM
It's perilously close to one of Andy Dawson's bits on Mince, mind.

"Do you think Blondie still has that heart of glass? I mean it was etc. etc."
Not really, because there's a comedy element to this one. The bit that sets up the joke is the entire joke in Dawson's case.

Thursday

It's different because Andy Dawson is a massive fucking piggy-backing cunt, and I don't know if this other person is anywhere near as bad.

NoSleep


Konki

- Doctor doctor! My haircut keeps thinking it's a pair of curtains!

- Tell it to pull itself together (to form a fringe).

Captain Z

I thought my hair jokes would make me popular enough to win the crown, but I guess I'm still out on the fringe.


bigfatheart

I'm on the dole, but I only spend it at the hairdresser's. I'm in it for the fringe benefits.

Puce Moment

Can't get enough of those tourette's jokes. Fucking brilliant.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Isn't it accepted, or at least acknowledged that the selected jokes tend to be one-liners/puns for the award itself to actually work?

Imagine if they wanted to include some comic deconstruction that entirely worked in context of the set up and delivery of the particular comedian rather than a one liner where the exact words uttered could be successfully delivered by anyone.

The top 10 would veer from

1. "A dyslexic pimp who worked in a warehouse"

To

2. "All the flavours....Plain"

And many people reading would go "Huh why's 2 a joke"

Rolf Lundgren

I liked a couple of them but 'florets' is far too niche to be the best out of those.

BlodwynPig

Saw a cauliflower in the desert

Florets of Arabia


Broccoli saved my life in the war

Florets Nightingale

Puce Moment

In resonse to Shoulders, the second hardest I ever laughed at a stand-up was Harry Hill saying "chamois leathers" above a pub in Twickenham in 1991.

The most I ever laughed (I think) was Malcolm Hardee doing a completely sincere, teary and sustained eulogy for his pet dog that had died a few days before while he compered a comedy show in Greenwich. He did it with full cock and balls flopped outside his zip. I was absolutely HUFFING my ventolin.

Rolf Lundgren

"I keep randomly shouting out 'Mints' and 'Chewing Gum' – I think I might have Clorets" - Hale or Pace

Cuellar

I remember being in tears reading this tweet from Peter Serafinowicz

QuoteDid you hear the one about the dyslexic pimp? He opened a hweshoroue!

Not entirely sure why

Captain Z

I bought my dyslexic girlfriend a bunch of cauliflower and broccoli.

"Where did you get these?" she asked.

"At the florets", I replied.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Cuellar



Shoulders?-Stomach!

Ah they've gone one better than clicks for a jokes list, they've managed to manufacture the latest outrage.

JamesTC

Every Olaf Falafel gig will have hecklers shouting "broccoli" and "cauliflower" at him. He'll be haunted by broccoli and cauliflower for the rest of his life. He'll wake up every night in a cold sweat after yet another broccoli and cauliflower based nightmare.

idunnosomename

it is a fucking tired lazy joke that reinforces misconceptions about a mental illness and I'm amazed Dave promoted it as the number one gag. Did no one even fucking think?

WHY DID THEY EVEN THINK IT WAS PARTICULARLY FUNNY

IT'S FUCKING CRAP

Ferris

Quote from: JamesTC on August 19, 2019, 10:08:58 PM
Every Olaf Falafel gig will have hecklers shouting "broccoli" and "cauliflower" at him. He'll be haunted by broccoli and cauliflower for the rest of his life. He'll wake up every night in a cold sweat after yet another broccoli and cauliflower based nightmare.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eyVHDZ-KHqc

lebowskibukowski

As someone with (an albeit mild case of ) Tourette's, the joke doesn't offend me - it's just completely shite

kalowski

Quote from: Cuellar on August 19, 2019, 09:04:52 PM
I remember being in tears reading this tweet from Peter Serafinowicz

Not entirely sure why
It's brilliant. It reminds me of when I told my daughter this old joke:
QuoteLast night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my pillow was gone.
A few days later I told her the surreal subversion:
QuoteLast night I dreamt I was eating a pillow and when I woke up my giant marshmallow was gone.
which she thought was hilarious.
But then she told the second version to her friend without the first version, and her friend just didn't get it at all. (They're both 21 8 years old).
Without the first version the second one doesn't work.

Icehaven

Quote from: Cuellar on August 19, 2019, 05:03:35 PM
It's perilously close to one of Andy Dawson's bits on Mince, mind.

"Do you think Blondie still has that heart of glass? I mean it was etc. etc."

But it wasn't Blondie/Debbie Harry who had the heart of glass, it was whoever they were singing about.