hold onto your sides it's the ten funniest fringe jokes!

[up_the_hampipe]

it is a fucking tired lazy joke that reinforces misconceptions about a mental illness and I'm amazed Dave promoted it as the number one gag. Did no one even fucking think?

WHY DID THEY EVEN THINK IT WAS PARTICULARLY FUNNY

IT'S FUCKING CRAP

I don't fault them for not expecting such a dumb little pun to cause such offence. But I do fault them for choosing such a dumb little pun as the best joke of the ENTIRE Fringe!

[Sin Agog]

It's brilliant. It reminds me of when I told my daughter this old joke:A few days later I told her the surreal subversion: which she thought was hilarious.
But then she told the second version to her friend without the first version, and her friend just didn't get it at all. (They're both 21 8 years old).
Without the first version the second one doesn't work.

That's my dad's second favourite dad joke after, 'I fell asleep with my head under the pillow.  The next morning I woke up with a mouthful of money and no teeth.'

[zomgmouse]

The marshmallow subversion I've heard was "I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my giant marshmallow was gone"

[Jockice]

I'm sure my dad's looking down on me now. He wasn't condescending, he's just dead.

[kalowski]

Other than, say, Tim Vine, whose whole schtick is these one liners, do all these "comedians" just try similarly punning gags? Fucking awful. Give me an imaginative or even a real narrative routine any day of the week.

[idunnosomename]

I think Tim Vine is genuinely great at quick-fire puns and quite clever and subversive. All of these are hack shit.

Well, the Eton one is ok

[olliebean]

Turns out that winning offensive-to-people-with-Tourette's joke isn't even original: https://www.chortle.co.uk/news/2019/08/20/44102/that_vegetable_joke_isnt_fresh%21

[JamesTC]

I co-wrote the joke

Desolation.

[hummingofevil]

The irony is there is a joke in Rosie Jones' show that absolutely destroys all of these but written down it probably comes across as deeply disablist.

[hummingofevil]

Turns out that winning offensive-to-people-with-Tourette's joke isn't even original: https://www.chortle.co.uk/news/2019/08/20/44102/that_vegetable_joke_isnt_fresh%21

How can anyone laugh a Heinz-sight joke? Christ. What the deal then? Think of a random food then a pun off it? Ok. I'll go first.

Mini cheddars.

Off you go all. Prize for best.

[Bennett Brauer]

I would like you to donate my prize to charity. The Human Fund.

[phantom_power]

But it wasn't Blondie/Debbie Harry who had the heart of glass, it was whoever they were singing about.

That is the same for pretty much all of his song "jokes" though. Not only unfunny but ill thought out as well

[Tony Yeboah]

It sounds a bit cheesy but I have a collection of obscure headed goals. Mi' niche headers.

[hummingofevil]

I would like you to donate my prize to charity. The Human Fund.

Did make me laugh.

[dissolute ocelot]

Turns out that winning offensive-to-people-with-Tourette's joke isn't even original: https://www.chortle.co.uk/news/2019/08/20/44102/that_vegetable_joke_isnt_fresh%21

"It was also used the same year on a vegan forum, and on a parody MySpace account mocking Big Brother contestant Patrick Barnett." Which made me laugh far more than any of the jokes.

[McFlymo]

3. Milton Jones
"What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh."

It's perilously close to one of Andy Dawson's bits on Mince, mind.

"Do you think Blondie still has that heart of glass? I mean it was etc. etc."

I don't get these two, can someone help me?


Also, I offer to the altar of Shite Jokes(tm) ....

"I've been trying to quit smoking, but it's making me swear at people in public: Nicorettes."

[Terryfuckwit]

I don't get these two, can someone help me?


Also, I offer to the altar of Shite Jokes(tm) ....

"I've been trying to quit smoking, but it's making me swear at people in public: Nicorettes."

First one is cos the duke of Eddy had a car crash recently. I also want to know what the second one is, cos I also don't get it

[The Boston Crab]

How many Andy Dawsons does it take to change a light bulb?

It's a trick question. He's too busy desperately scrabbling for something funny to say and, anyway, he can't even climb on a chair because he's a fat fucking cunt.

[phantom_power]

The second one is a shit comedy conceit that Andy Dawson keeps doing on Athletico Mince where he takes a thing from an old song and "wonders" if the artist still has or does that thing, often despite that thing not belonging to or happening to the person in question. Thankfully he doesn't really do it much any more. Does UB40 still have a rat in their kitchen? Are Duran Duran still hungry like the wolf? Are Bananarama still guilty of love in the first degree? You get the (terrible) idea

[McFlymo]

Ah ok. I get it now. A bit shit. Although the Joz Norris "free cow" one feels a tiny bit more creative, because the misquoting aspect...

It made me laugh, but mostly because I was a bit slow on the uptake and when I got it, I was like "aaaaaaaah" ...