FLF (Dilemma)

[The Boston Crab]

Fartin like fuck.


When you're knackered and FLF but you GGC what are the odds of babbin the bed?


Stayin in your mate's house, for context. His wife's not happy you're up late and pished but you don't want to wake the gaff flushin a 6lb muckle doodlebug.


Also tough to get a decent kip when your arsehole's brayin like a tortured mare.


What a conundrum and no matter what, you're FLF.


Any teps?

[chveik]

fly fishing night session

the salmons won't mind

[Alberon]

When you're knackered and FLF but you GGC what are the odds of babbin the bed?


Stayin in your mate's house, for context. His wife's not happy you're up late and pished but you don't want to wake the gaff flushin a 6lb muckle doodlebug.


Also tough to get a decent kip when your arsehole's brayin like a tortured mare.


What a conundrum and no matter what, you're FLF.

Then welcome.

Ooooh bum-ripping gas bomb welcome.

In Jaaaaam.

[The Boston Crab]

fly fishing night session

the salmons won't mind

Is no legal, pal. Nae poachin.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Farting is a different process to shitting.  Shitting involves peristalsis, farting doesn't.
Unless you've got something wrong with you you should be able to fart like buggery without shitting yourself.

[Ambient Sheep]

Then welcome.

Ooooh bum-ripping gas bomb welcome.

In Jaaaaam.

:-D :-D

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Manage the situation by creating targets. 100 farts in an hour is a reasonable target to aim for.

[madhair60]

This is me every single night. I think I have a medical problem, arse-wise

[Alberon]

When I've eaten enough crap to upset even my digestive system I do end up farting a great deal, but I also burp a lot.

For some reason those particular burps are much higher pitched than normal ones. No idea why.

[Blue Jam]

Fart Liberation Front. Better out than in.

[Blumf]

Fart Liberation Front. Better out than in.

One out, all out!

[Blue Jam]

On second thoughts, farting round a mate's house is never justified, even if it is ancient.

[The Boston Crab]

Ye ever bab en yer weeders?

Hoots.

[Blue Jam]

Hoots mon thur's joose loose aboot this hoose

[JesusAndYourBush]

Last Christmas I had a fart building up and I suppressed it for a while then went into another room to let it out, but it'd built up so much force that when I let it out it made a really loud noise which made me crease up with laughter, and I fear everyone in the house probably heard it.

Wham considers rewrite.

[The Boston Crab]

This is happening again and it's not good. Had one pie and mash for dinner, no lunch and prorredge for breakfast and now I'm FLF. Feel like if I really go for it, I'll pebbledash my carpet (just wearin boxies) or the couch. My wiff is out tonight so I got time to clean up but what if I I can't and it all gone wrong? Not kidding. I guess I could go the tiolet.

[Twed]

This is happening again and it's not good. Had one pie and mash for dinner, no lunch and prorredge for breakfast and now I'm FLF.

I can't believe you ate pies and mash and you're STILL farting. They usually stop it

[The Boston Crab]

Oh gret. I'm bein mocked.

I went the bog but GBH (got 2 b h) I still feel there's a whole tord bakin  8:(

[sponk]

https://www.myshreddies.com/flatulence/mens?gclid=CjwKCAjwzJjrBRBvEiwA867bypXAARKLUq8DH_Y-KKR8Ox7T6WN2DnojWPbFSx8YX8qfn8eVjyLpJRoCyjAQAvD_BwE

[The Boston Crab]

Fuckin eighty quid

Fair enough. Stop me cuttin da cheese and creppin my pants.

[pancreas]

the saddest fart is that you

[thelittlemango]

As I kid, when I had a similar issue, I used to fart in kinder egg capsules and give the miniature eggy tombs to unsuspecting friends and enemies to open.

Perhaps you could do something similar?

[thenoise]

The correct way to fill a fart vessel is underwater, to limit the possibility of contamination from the air. Bubble that fart right into the upturned vessel and seal immediately.