Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 10:30:45 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Latest posts on Gristle St Brownwaters Reporting Page

Started by the midnight watch baboon, August 21, 2019, 03:25:14 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

the midnight watch baboon

Bert Lombardo: ANYONE ELSE SMELLING VIMTO TONIGHT [LOL WITH TEARS EMOTICOM] IT S  ALL OVER THE TWIGDEN'S ESTATE

Candela Yammer was Tongues y do people think it's acceptable to romp to glory on a golden penised pack horse on the school grounds just because the school is on it is summer break

Mark Dugdale Barry Lyndon  John Jaspreet Thomas  Legend Gary  Julian Rignall  Roger Thatt  Bob Nudd  Percy Greenhat  Darren Slocombe  YOU BEEN SMOKING YOR VIMTO AGAIN [LOL WITH TEARS EMOTICOM] and also golden Horse's cock

Roger Thatt  My garden waste hasn't been collected since Whitsun.

Julian Rignall My autistic children report seeing human activity in the frog pond


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Keith Maund: anyone else noticed the Asian. When did he arrive

Gregory Torso

Terry Reflux: having problems with the black bees, the totally vantablack bumblebees and when they fly over your garden area the flowers wither away and die, advise pls

Barry Relief: yo any1one hidin there drug shit in chippy toilet the rozers is ON TO YOU




Gregory Torso

Fatty Mountain: HAVE YOU SEEN THE WHITE DEER FLEET? THEY ARRIVE AT MIDIGHT, THYEV BEEN OVER THE GARDENS EVRY NIGHT THIS WEEK, TINY LITTLE WHIET DEERS, HAVE YOU SEEN, I THINK THEY CAME HERE ON THE WISHES OF IMMIGRENTS, COULD SOMONE KILL THEM FOR ME



Gregory Torso

Owen Weakling: FOR SALE. old wooden bits for quids, come round the house, find them, give you discount if you'll see the wife. nice pine troughs, Eric Knowles certified Dignitas crook, pink lipids in black moss, queensize spread would fit any mattress, ask for them & i'll sort you oot. Depression creams, peters, Biggie Smalls shadow, there all at my place, come pick them up.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Oaki Basher - yeah I seen him. I seen him 4 times nar

pancreas

Carnie Mostril: You know that picture of a cock and balls what someone drew by the kids play area five years ago? I did that.

Twit 2

Kundun Jasp Report of anti-social behaviour: every night when I come home from selling chain link fences there is a woman in my house. She has the aprons and underpinnings of a conventional human but the way she seems to glide along the sawdust makes me think she's some sort of flying puppet or reluctant bird, perhaps a swan. Granted, she has no beak. For a while I suspected her of being a 'crane wife' and drilled holes everywhere, hoping to catch her making a feathered brocade of herself. She seems to know who I am, anticipate my movements, feign interest in fencing, even. Over a simple supper she talks of mesh and I check her eyeballs for a nictitating membrane, calibrating my grins accordingly. Each night as she 'nests' (this is the term I use for her sleeping) I stand over her with a heavy heart and a heavier spade, ready to do her head in. Perhaps in the goo I'll see evidence for the squawking, the silent squawking which assaults my ossicles and makes a mockery of my evening. I usually put the spade back in the cupboard but the day I don't the Gazette should take into account all the antisocial behaviour, surely? Or AIBU?

Gregory Torso

Helen Bentley-Rhythm ace

1. wycliffe jean seen lurking around chippy. my fucking kids couldve seen that

2. woman seen walking dog, woman has tattoo of a stick on her hand. it must confuse the dog.

3. crow threw up in pub car park. second crow arrived and ate first crows throw up. what are we paying the council for




Gregory Torso

Janice Boycie told you about Wycliff jean, i heard he wanked off the crab from "Under the Sea".

pancreas

Francis Domblaffer some people who are putting about lies that i did oral on wycliff jean can go fuck themself. i was tying up my shoelaces.

pancreas

Maud Kibblesworth Hi, I am raising money for Children In Need by doing a sponsored Supermarket Sweep next Monday. 10% of the money will go to chairty. If you want to sponsor me then please donate when you see me by the dog mess bin.

pancreas

Gendarme McAllistar The fire escape has been blocked with an enormous stack of pornographic magazines and they are posing a fire risk.  We do not want Grenfell in here.  Most of the mags are chess-themed apart from a couple nazi ones.  They are free to anyone who wants them.

the midnight watch baboon

Jocelyn Longdavenue Has anyone got copy of the Greatest Showman? Hugh Australian? Greatest Showman? Anyone borrow me Greatest Showman? Hugh Laurie...On the Windows Estate... Greatest Showman? Borrow it? Anyone? Hugh F-W? Hugh Fucking Grant? Anyone Greatest Showman? Please? Hugh singer wolfman FUCKINGJACKMAN...Anyone lend me Hugh Jackman, Greatest Showman? Lend it?

Barky Mark Christ give it a rest love lol

Gregory Torso

Nut Bailer There's a lion on fire in the market-place for about six hours now, is somone going to do somehting