Author Topic: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra  (Read 32030 times)

Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« on: August 22, 2019, 12:30:16 PM »
rest of the Ashes and through to a tasty test series in New Zealand: it's the second CAB cricket thread for 2019.


Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2019, 12:31:14 PM »
Peak Cricket on CaB. Can't remember any year where we have needed 2 threads. Some years we've made do with the previous one.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2019, 12:33:02 PM »
All I will say is, if Root doesn't get Woakes on in these conditions he needs brainlining by the Aus hit squad so we can get a captain who knows what the fuck is going on.

iamcoop

  • Woaksyyyyy
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2019, 12:35:18 PM »
Woakesy eats these conditions for breakfast get the lad in the game.

iamcoop

  • Woaksyyyyy
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2019, 12:38:06 PM »


This is the ideal male crown. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2019, 12:42:18 PM »
Stokesy should sue for his transplant. It’s patchy as fuck up there already.

Maybe’s he’s like Rooney, his head’s just a hair graveyard.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #6 on: August 22, 2019, 12:43:33 PM »
Agreed.

Moving back to unusually not balding in the slightest man Chris Woakes, he averages 18 in tests where he was handed the new ball.

I know Archer is amazing but he will still be amazing if he is first change because he has more pace to burn and so far is very economical.

Woakes doesn't have that so you start with him, knowing you can unleash Archer later on, get the fear factor drummed up. He should be the shithot insurance policy that always pays out rather than obstructing someone who has a narrower set of skills.

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #7 on: August 22, 2019, 12:44:27 PM »
even worse for Stokes, it must be matrilineal baldness as his dad is still a rugged folk hero crossed with Pat Mustard


Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #8 on: August 22, 2019, 12:45:07 PM »
Wouldn’t mess with Stokesy’s Dad.

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #9 on: August 22, 2019, 12:46:43 PM »
Don’t agree with this new thread wanted cricket megathread

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2019, 12:49:33 PM »
Ffs, early lunch and more rain.


iamcoop

  • Woaksyyyyy
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #11 on: August 22, 2019, 12:51:30 PM »
Woakesy is just the perfect man isn’t he? Full head of sumptuous hair, take him home to meet your parents, I like him son your dad would say, averages 18 with the new ball as well you’d say, twiddling your hair with a finger whilst browsing warwickshireccc.com

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #12 on: August 22, 2019, 12:53:07 PM »
Love the rectal cavities whinging that England had the sheer cheek to schedule a test match in the North in mid August. Lord's rained, we will get more play in this Test match.

Biowaste. Get em ended

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #13 on: August 22, 2019, 12:53:25 PM »
He’s fucking gorgeous.

king_tubby

  • Broadband communist
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #14 on: August 22, 2019, 12:53:30 PM »
Think I just saw the camera drone thing out of the window. Were they doing arty scenery shots of the abbey?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #15 on: August 22, 2019, 12:54:27 PM »
Think I just saw the camera drone thing out of the window. Were they doing arty scenery shots of the abbey?

On the scout for drenched quim, plenty on show in Kirkstall I'd have thought. Get the drone into Kirkstall Leisure centre.

king_tubby

  • Broadband communist
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2019, 12:55:16 PM »
Didn't realise your mum was in town.

Oh you have edited. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #17 on: August 22, 2019, 01:01:18 PM »
The Woakes thing seems to be like some kind of prank the whole cricket world is in on. Looking forward to the documentary in 2025.

king_tubby

  • Broadband communist
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #18 on: August 22, 2019, 01:06:22 PM »
Raining again. Piss off, rain!

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #19 on: August 22, 2019, 02:19:52 PM »
Umpire Gaff-Prone more like!

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #20 on: August 22, 2019, 02:22:39 PM »
Lovely stuff

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #21 on: August 22, 2019, 02:35:47 PM »
Has Labuschagne gone so far as to adopt Smith's absurd bat-swordplay after a leave?

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #22 on: August 22, 2019, 02:37:39 PM »
Where’s sexy Woakes?

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #23 on: August 22, 2019, 02:39:34 PM »
Cornwall not selected for the first test. When will the bumbling blazer-clad bureaucrats realise what the youth want?

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #24 on: August 22, 2019, 02:39:52 PM »
Oh god damn it

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #25 on: August 22, 2019, 02:43:13 PM »
win or lose, Joe Root is an asinine captain.

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #26 on: August 22, 2019, 02:45:12 PM »
Rest of the team praying Archer loses his radar for a couple of deliveries to address the captaincy deficit.

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #27 on: August 22, 2019, 02:45:47 PM »
Jofra will be trundling in like Mark Ealham soon if Root continues to bowl him into the ground like this.

king_tubby

  • Broadband communist
Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #28 on: August 22, 2019, 02:47:32 PM »
Fucking raining.

Re: Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra
« Reply #29 on: August 22, 2019, 02:48:58 PM »
Fucking raining.

oh good, stick Archer on for another 7 after the break.