Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra

[king_tubby]

You heard it here first. Jofra shagged my wife.

[iamcoop]

[BlodwynPig]

You heard it here first. Jofra changed my life.

Cant wait for the Bosto comedown

[The Boston Crab]

It's fucking great living life in the moment, enjoying the peaks and troughs, a technicolor chiaroscuro, no fear of death, complete freedom.

Enjoy the greyscale flatline into graveward gradient.

[The Boston Crab]

If Eoin Morgan played for the Aussies we could all be like

EOIN MORGUE-IN

[BlodwynPig]

It's fucking great living life in the moment, enjoying the peaks and troughs, a technicolor chiaroscuro, no fear of death, complete freedom.

Enjoy the greyscale flatline into graveward gradient.

Oh, im eternally riding the rainbow, friend. I can see your fate from the indigo ledge

[The Boston Crab]

Don't fall off lad

[Cuellar]

Been here too long, someone sent a screenshot of an 'Archer takes six' headline in a group chat, I responded with 'Sadly it's not six HEADS', dead silence. It's been hours now.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Been here too long, someone sent a screenshot of an 'Archer takes six' headline in a group chat, I responded with 'Sadly it's not six HEADS', dead silence. It's been hours now.

Reply right now saying

"Heads...as in skulls. As in hope they all die"

[druss]

Been here too long, someone sent a screenshot of an 'Archer takes six' headline in a group chat, I responded with 'Sadly it's not six HEADS', dead silence. It's been hours now.

Had a similar experience, asked a whatsapp group which Australian they would like Archer to "LITERALLY KILL".

Not one comment. The conversation has since moved on to whether the dick still works if you're paralysed from the waist down.

[druss]

Broad's ball to Head was sexual.

[Inspector Norse]

Broad's ball to Head was sexual.

Has anyone done a meme of Head's facial expression afterwards yet?

[Inspector Norse]

Head's facial expression afterwards

Thinking this kind of thing but done by a proper Memist.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

[poo]

Better day for batting. 117 all out.

[Inspector Norse]

Conditions are supposedly much better for batting, yeah.
What England need to do: bat responsibly but smartly all day and indeed into tomorrow and post a lead of over 200 to put scoreboard pressure on the Aussies and reduce the likelihood of Gary-induced genocide on the last day.
What England will do: come out waving their bats around like party-attending children with plastic pirate swords and get twunted for 12.

[BlodwynPig]

Guaranteed England victory, 491-0 Dec

[iamcoop]

Leachy bolted on for a double ton today lads can feel that fucking slaphead's power coursing through my veins

[dontrunyoullfall]

Root to choke on a bail. 12:17.

[poo]

Already looking forward to rocking up at the WACA with Joffers. 

[Harry Badger]

Already looking forward to rocking up at the WACA with Joffers.

No more WACA unfortunately.

[The Boston Crab]

MCG brain balls. Sending all the third world convict duffer members into an early second retirement (morgue).

[poo]

No more WACA unfortunately.

Hah forgot about that. Gabba then!

[poo]

URRY UP CRICKET

[dontrunyoullfall]

Archer will be a husk by the next Ashes. If it's in little Joe's power.

[Cuellar]

I think England should approach this day by thinking 'we need to bat. let's just bat, for a long time. don't get out, keep batting'

If they do this, they should be in a good position come stumps.

[jobotic]

Always bat. Keep batting. Never leave anything. Bat every ball. Must bat. Twat it. Whatever it is. Bat.

[The Boston Crab]

Fuck this pussy attritional shit.

Bollock every ball through deep mid wicket and long on. Hit everything as hard as you can. Play it like a T20 and get Jofra back on by tea. Brain balls til they're all in the morgue. Call up who you like according to some bullshit ICC protocol. We'll put em all in a body bag.