Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra

[sevendaughters]

WOAKES HAS SMITH ON TOAST

[The Boston Crab]

CUZZA CHAMP

[Thursday]

Oh my game on

[The Boston Crab]

Smith been spending too much time around the peads cos he bats too much. Noncemosis.


Ultimate long con from peads

[Mr Eggs]

He's still pissed off his tits after Old Trafford.

[Moonshine]

Was tipped off about Langer's random laptop searches and needed to get back in the shed sharpish

[Thursday]

Conceding too many runs now. Fucked it.

[Thursday]

Fuckinhh

[Thursday]

Put your glasses on

[Mr Eggs]

Was enjoying SPIDERCHAT on TMS.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Archer with some beautiful shade noncery there, couldn't have bowled that better if he molested some altar boys in a layby

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Another fucking Root drop as he slides into the HiV AIDS trans

[Mr Eggs]

Eng to lose 3 in 20 balls.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

ARCHER

IS

GOD

*nice catch by Burns victim.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Old England would have piled on the hurt, probs all out for 110

[Mr Eggs]

Eng wobbling. Like the buttocks of an overfed boy.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Hard to see what lows England will have to plummet to not at least have a fighting chance of winning this test.

Anyone know what the hell Paine was doing at the toss!
?

[Cuellar]

Who knows. Apart from Smith no one seems to know what the hell they're doing out there this whole series.

[king_tubby]

Paine is captain in name only, so maybe they told him he was allowed to choose once the Ashes were safe.

And he chose....unwisely.

[poo]

Wow that Burns catch - take of the summer?

[The Boston Crab]

I've said it once before but take out Smith and double the score of the next highest scoring Aus and England would have cunted the Ashes. Even now, we probably should have won because of the rained off Test. Had Anderson not been sent to a rehabilitation facility after four overs and we played another bowler in the first Test, we might never have contracted anything irreversible. Curran for Bairstin Boys and we'd have taken these third world dogshit eating wackos out the back and skulled them into C19.

[iamcoop]

2-2 will be pointless though because absolutely nothing will change. A 0-5 drubbing might have sorted something out. I know there's no known cure for what we have but you can manage your symptoms and live a fairly normal life these days. Unless Burns starts sharing needles with the rest of the lads surely he's now nailed on as the next captain when Root eventually goes the same way as Freddie?

[Thursday]

Point is we've played shit, but might have got away with it if it hadn't have been for some bad luck, and against anyone else we very well might have anyway, and there probably will be a focus on improving our test batting after this... also Archer and Curran are young and will hopefully just get better.

So in spite of so much aids this series, things will hopefully improve.

[Quote]

50-run opening partnership. These are the glory days lads.

[poo]

Nice platform for Jos to go for the quickest ever test half century

[Quote]

Flew too close to the sun.

[Thursday]

Collapse starts here

[iamcoop]

We'll find a way to lose this test. It's the only thing we're genuinely good at.

[Quote]

Root and Wade having a bit of verbals. Wade no doubt unimpressed by Joe's unhealthy interest in a underaged niece or cousin.

[Inspector Norse]

Australia reprimanded by the umpires for going over the top with their sledging.

In today's other major story, bear dung discovered in forest.