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Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra

Started by sevendaughters, August 22, 2019, 12:30:16 PM

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sevendaughters

sevendaughters' official player ratings for the SA vs. ENG series 2019/20

ENGLAND
DP SIBLEY (324 runs @ 54) Finally the county slayer steps up (after a bizarre motion across his stumps) and gently pads public opinion of him into the leg side for a 2. Average bolstered by a not out, but consistent starts with occasional scores is the bar and he hurdled it. 8

Z CRAWLEY (163 runs @ 32.6) when in control he looks the business, a right-handed Trescothick of supreme eye and balance bunting the ball on the drive. looks like he might squirt one high to 4th slip for longer than is necessary, and one swallow doth not a summer etc. 6

RJ BURNS (93 runs @ 46.5) most of his runs acquired in an unlikely chase in a losing test that he at least gave some hope in attaining. Sadly his desire to be the new Denis Compton became too literal and he tarted off after boo-booing his ankle. 6.

JL DENLY (210 runs @ 30, 2 wickets @ 37.5) the most appropriate stat line for Denly, whose stats against Australia and New Zealand were also pretty Denlyish. Some freakish turn from his leg spinner was a strange highlight. 5

JE ROOT (317 runs @ 45.28, 4 wickets @ 47.5) paragraphs could be devoted to the skipper, particularly about what the stats don't say about bowling himself too much at stupid times, not knowing how to manage fragile players, field placement, etc. But on merit a solid series below what you'd expect from a supposed world great, but fruitful and contributed and looked less burnt out. 7

BA STOKES (318 runs @ 45.52, 10 wickets @ 22) some bad drops aside the world's greatest all-rounder continues to be a player of legitimate heroics and bravura. His 47 ball 70-odd in Cape Town bought time to score the win that he polished off himself with 3 wickets of a stubborn tail. He then hit a century in the next match. He also does good catches and took 2 fewer than Buttler did in the end. 10

OJ POPE (266 runs @ 88.66) bolstered by a not out but nonetheless doing the exact job he's there for - looking stylish against a knackered attack failing to shape the ball. Enjoy this before he gets moved up to 3 for Denly and flops. 9.

JM BAIRSTOW (10 runs @ 5) lily-livered in his one game and his technique looked worse despite going away to fix it. 1

JC BUTTLER (115 runs @ 16.42) nearly every innings was the same. A couple of blocks. A sherry-sweet punch through somewhere for a howitzer 4. Scratching around. Horror shot. Out. Was frustrating to watch, and genuinely cringeworthy seeing him attempt to hardman his way around to make up for his lack of tangible contribution. His wicket-keeping was pretty good though. 4

SM CURRAN (130 runs @ 18.57, 10 wickets @ 32.6) his battling qualities are undoubted but I felt we began to see the limitations. Out cheaply more often than you'd like a #8, he was nonetheless consistent with the ball. 6

MA WOOD (12 wickets @ 13.58, 95 runs @ 47.5) only two games and maybe a purple patch but a perfect series from a guy who clearly fucking loves being out there and fights hard just to make fitness. Only loses player of the series because he wasn't selected. 10

SCJ BROAD (14 wickets @ 19.42, 61 runs @ 15.25) steady and utterly reliable without ever really lighting it up, you can't reject a stat line like that and it was nice to see him hitting the fucking thing for once. 8

JM ANDERSON (9 wickets @ 19.88) iffy at Centurion, unplayable at Cape Town. Has no right to still be this destructive. Shame he got crocked but his absence made me realise we may have the same depth as Australia have for quicks. 7

DM BESS (8 wickets @ 25.75) Ed Smith's assertion that Bess can give us batting depth has been laughed out of town (he scored 1 run all series and was out 3 times) but looks like the self-confident almost-wanker that we've been missing since Swann hung up his boots. 7

JC ARCHER (6 wickets @ 27.83) a 5-for against declaration bowling helps his stats. He was scattergun and taciturn. Maybe he was always playing hurt. 5.


SOUTH AFRICA
D ELGAR (244 runs @ 30.50) not an awful stat line against a world class attack, but he looked frustrated and never got to unfurl too many of those leg side prods that make him an absolute bastard to watch when he's flogging you. Sad we didn't see him bowl too much either, I could go for some of his variations *ducks stool* 6

PJ MALAN (156 runs @ 26) thought, during his 84 at Cape Town, he looked the absolute business, a time-served domestic creeper who knew what to hit and what to leave. Since then he's been set up and taken out more than a Punch & Judy. 4

A MARKRAM (22 runs @ 11) got injured didn't he? Unlucky, but not great in a match they won. 2

Z HAMZA (78 runs @ 13) didn't look like he knew where he was in five of his innings. 2

HE VAN DER DUSSEN (274 runs @ 34.25) a curious player who appears to basically be the new Jonty Rhodes, ie. not that great at batting but always brings biltong to practice and holds a catch, occasionally ekeing out a score. Good bowling never let him settle for long. 6

F DU PLESSIS (151 runs @ 18.87) one to forget for Faf, and maybe his last. A Faf-esque strike rate of 35 but never once settled nerves, and some of his captaincy made Root look like Mike Brearley. 3

Q DE KOCK (380 runs @ 47.5) man among boys. Top keeping as well. Series leading run scorer of either side. 9.

T BAVUMA (33 runs @ 16.5) his domestic efforts got him in but a pretty cack performance from a mercurial player. 3

VD PHILANDER (160 runs @ 22.85, 8 wickets @ 26.62) began wonderfully but declined as his old Castle Beer filled body gave up on him. A sublime bowler at his best and a deeply annoying opposition bat, and he made Buttler look like a dick. 6

A NORTJE (18 wickets @ 27.11, 77 runs @ 11) leading wicket taker of the series and the only SA bowler who oozed any menace, at times looking positively Australian in his combination of Aryan looks and searing pace. 8

K RABADA (14 wickets @ 28.92, 48 runs @ 12) his decision to bowl aggressively exclusively saw him cop a bit of stick, but the wickets did keep falling when he was on. Fucked over by the ICC too. 7

D PRETORIUS (7 wickets @ 36, 83 runs @ 13.83) a real county throwback who kept getting games despite doing not a lot in any of them. 4

D PATERSON (43 runs @ 43, 4 wickets @ 41.50) flattering stats mask an average trundler and beer money bunter. 5

KA MAHARAJ (10 wickets @ 46.30, 94 runs @ 15.66) a good bowler who got absolutely shredded on a couple of occasions by a world class ball-smasher. Nonetheless, not a great turnout. 4

BE HENDRICKS (6 wickets @ 29.16) a five-for in a declaration batting innings, but showed some gumption and fight when up against it. 6

VERDICT: England performed as a collective, rising from a sickbed to thrash a team led by one great and bunch of almost rans.


Mark Wood calls his bat 'the Blade of Justice'. Marvellous.

poo

Called my first bat "Duncan" cos it was a Duncan Fearnley. Subsequent bats have all been Duncan Fearnleys and they are sons of Duncan with my current one being the "The Fifth Son of Duncan". Before you say sexist, Duncan was a woman.

Inspector Norse


sevendaughters

I had a Fearnley 405 that broke in the nets so I bought a second-hand SS Jumbo where I barely needed to swing to push it to the rope.

ArtParrott

I had a lovely County bat that often got leant to a more senior batsman as he'd developed a real fondness for it too. So much so that when he scored his first ton with it he drunkenly signed it "101 n.o." on the back.

Was quite proud of that, until someone genuinely thought I'd been writing my own scores on it, i.e. 1, 0, 1 n.o.

sevendaughters

Joe Denly appears to be dropped for Sri Lanka. Moving to #3? Jonny Bairstow.

*KETSBAIA ON AD HOARDING*

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: sevendaughters on January 28, 2020, 05:45:47 PM
Joe Denly appears to be dropped for Sri Lanka. Moving to #3? Jonny Bairstow.

*KETSBAIA ON AD HOARDING*

Jennings on standby in case Crawley makes less than 140

All this talk about Young England has made them remember Young Jonny Bairstow.

The problem with these selections is that if Zimbabwe are posting 300+ scores against Sri Lanka then Bairstow and Jennings will play themselves into starting the first test match of the English summer.

sevendaughters

rough scenes at ZIM-SL - the lad who got concussed last test just got concussed again fielding at silly mid on. Wore one right on the bonce from the blade of the batsman. the ball spun up and was caught so it wasn't in vain.

Inspector Norse

Cracking choke from NZ in the hit-and-giggle against India just now.

NZ needed 2 to win off 4 balls with 6 wickets standing and a set Williamson and Taylor at the crease. They managed 1 bye and 2 wickets.
Then in the super over they had India needing 10 off the last 2 balls... and Rohit proceeded to hit 2 sixes.

Thursday


sevendaughters

ZIM lead by 113 going into 2nd innings. They can't shart this up now surely?

Inspector Norse

Looks an interesting last day in the Zimbabwe-SL game. SL chasing 361 to win, going pretty well at 72-1.

If Zimbabwe can win it it would be their first victory over SL and only their 13th ever (all against teams from the subcontinent). [/statattack]

sevendaughters

genuinely interesting game this, I think SL might go for it. proper "welcome (back) to big school" cricket.

sevendaughters

ENG starting the white ball part of their tour against a SA select. Morgan, Root, and Bairstow out for 0, 0, and 4 respectively. Without looking if you can guess within 5 what Joe Denly got then I won't be surprised.

Inspector Norse

Quote from: sevendaughters on January 31, 2020, 11:07:16 AM
genuinely interesting game this, I think SL might go for it. proper "welcome (back) to big school" cricket.

They're batting out the draw unfortunately. Mathews just gone for a Denlyesque 13 off 69 balls.

sevendaughters

yeah, poor show really. no one would have thought SL shit for trying and failing and it would have been a good end to a purist series. it's not even for the test championship.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: sevendaughters on January 31, 2020, 11:16:43 AM
ENG starting the white ball part of their tour against a SA select. Morgan, Root, and Bairstow out for 0, 0, and 4 respectively. Without looking if you can guess within 5 what Joe Denly got then I won't be surprised.

Surely time for Hales to be reintroduced, keep the likes of Bairstow on his toes.

Inspector Norse

Bowlers won the first warm-up for England and they're batting better in the second today. 100 for Bairstow, 91 for Root, and even Denly suddenly turned into Chris Gayle and went from 40 to 85 in 20 balls before holing out.
Not sure whether the opposition are proper players or pub piechuckers though. The one guy Tait seems to be the only one returning decent figures.

sevendaughters

Today's result makes me not understand DLS. They win scoring a total lower than the RR we sustained over 50 overs?

Inspector Norse

Quote from: sevendaughters on February 01, 2020, 06:43:03 PM
Today's result makes me not understand DLS. They win scoring a total lower than the RR we sustained over 50 overs?

It was an engineered situation - they looked at what the 30-over target would be from where they were after 20 overs and went from there. And then they just laid into Mahmood.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Does make me worry who we have got to keep a lid on the run rate once Rashid and Ali goes. Parky did alright the other day tbf but he and Saqib leak runs like an incontinent Labrador.

I suppose the strategy remains, score 350 and then get full 50 overs to turn the screw.

king_tubby

England pick BANTon - will hopefully live up to his name and provoke some EPIC BANTS.

Harry Badger

Quote from: king_tubby on February 04, 2020, 10:56:21 AM
England pick BANTon - will hopefully live up to his name and provoke some EPIC BANTS.

There will be. He is a seriously good white-ball hitter.

Quote

Denly seems to have passed into our ODI team via osmosis or something. Do they even know he's out there?

Harry Badger

Quote from: Quote on February 04, 2020, 11:03:36 AM
Denly seems to have passed into our ODI team via osmosis or something. Do they even know he's out there?

Mad selection.

Cuellar

And Bairstow opening the batting? Is that normal?

Inspector Norse

They have rested Stokes, Buttler and Wood and are giving Parkinson a chance so this is being touted as a "development squad".

Denly is 34 next month.

Inspector Norse

Quote from: Cuellar on February 04, 2020, 11:29:39 AM
And Bairstow opening the batting? Is that normal?

In ODIs yeah. He averages a gazillion there. It's why he can't play against a red ball any more.