Cricket 2019 part II: arise King Jofra

[king_tubby]

England playing shite on instruction from Her Majesty to draw attention away from Randy Andy.

[Cuellar]

This amazing. Brilliant, epic, complete dog baff.

[sevendaughters]

if it wasn't for the fact that we're sort of in the game still I'd say this is the lowest I've ever seen us.

[Cuellar]

Are we? Are we really?

[sevendaughters]

Are we? Are we really?

Jofra mate, Root is going to bowl him unchanged.

[Cuellar]

A new form of cricket, 'total cricket', where you play like total CACK

[Thursday]

Better day for batting. 117 all out.

Foolish optimist

[Cuellar]

HAHAHAHA TRAVEL GRAVEWARD POST HASTE

[jobotic]

sixty motherfucking seven

[sevendaughters]

Laker, Lock, Underwood
I summon thee
Trueman, Statham, Bedser
I summon thee
Barnes, Mynn, Willis
I summon thee
Min Patel
please go away

[Norton Canes]

play the kids at OT

Yeah, they should play the under 15's.

OH HANG ON THE ENGLAND TEAM ARE ALREADY ALL UNDER 15's

[sevendaughters]

worst ENG home score since 1948.

[Cuellar]

Top score of 12

No batsman beat 'Extras' in Australia's innings.

[king_tubby]

Right then lads, big task out there this afternoon, still in the game, just go out and BREAK THEM.

[druss]

This is how you surrender the ashes in a home series for the first time in 18 years.

When it's this bad in Australia it's easy to forget about but this is Like rubbing stinking dog shit all over your face and not showering for days. Lovely stuff.

[BlodwynPig]

Hello Bosto down there! I'm on the top ledge now

ps. Archer 10-1, Aussies out for 23

England win by 7 wickets

[Cuellar]

Root: "Right Archer, here's the ball"
Archer: "...Nah you're alright, I'll just go down to third man"
Root: "No, come on, have a bowl"
Archer: "I'm fine actually, I'll just stand around. Ooooh, actually, my ankle's just gone, ooh that smarts, I'd best sit this one out [googles how to renounce UK citizenship from dressing room]"

[Cuellar]

Jofra Archer from one end, Jobry Carcher from the other

[sevendaughters]

hunch that Broad's public schoolboy trollface only works when ENG are winning

[The Boston Crab]

Hello Bosto down there! I'm on the top ledge now

Don't worry, mate.

I'll catch you.

Like always.

Start banging a few MAOIs in time for the dark nights.

[Cuellar]

Bowl them out for 67 and we'd need 180.... easy

[sevendaughters]

Wilson review on an OUT, not even celebrating he's that suspect

[sevendaughters]

WARNER CONTRACTS GENITAL HERPES ON THE WAY OFF THE FIELD

[Inspector Norse]

That's the fourth time since the last Ashes we've been bowled out for under 100.

Third time this year.

Third time in as many series.

Third time in the last seven fucking matches.

Does anyone think that is in any way acceptable?

Enough of this "give them the series" shite, it's been going on far too long now. Bayliss and his cohorts have totally fucked England's batting. Get rid of them NOW. Sack Root as captain. Drop Roy and Denly and anyone else not good enough.

Eight or nine years ago we had a batting lineup of Cook, Strauss, Trott, Pietersen, Bell, Collingwood and Prior. Balance between aggression and defence, left and right, technique and graft. Every one of them finished their test careers averaging comfortably over 40, in some cases over 45.
Now we have Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick, Tich, Ringo and Bilbo. Who average NATHAN LYON'S GRINNING FACE between them.

[sevendaughters]

won the world cup though mate

[The Boston Crab]

Mate.

Careful now.

World Cup though.

Mate.

[Inspector Norse]

Not really worth it though. Warner getting out for a duck to toy with us. Smith taking a fortnight off just preparing to score 1000* in the next game. Lyon existing.

[Cuellar]

Seems like Harris is 'leaving' a lot of balls outside off...is that allowed?

[iamcoop]

I want people dead

[The Boston Crab]

WC is worth way in more than an Ashes we obviously don't give a shit about because we put the fucking whole world back about a century. Cunts living out of dogshit and hay huts eating dogshit and breathing dogshit on each other all day every day. Kohli revealed as a total pussy. Aussies ground into the dirt like we were playing a completely different form of the game. Kiwis already third world as fuck and sent packing to the fourth world Dark Ages shit. SA barely existed afterwards. Only PAK came out of it with any dignity for scraping a win when we couldn't be arsed. We cunted the world like the good old days of the Empire simple as. It's written in stone and we were there for it.

Manager doesn't give a shit about Tests. Root is a spineless little cunt who nobody respects. Selectors are just some old failure player pooves. The Aussies aren't even any good, we just don't have any respect for Test cricket.