Weird sexual euphemisms in music

[Famous Mortimer]

According to Google:

What does Fergie's London Bridge mean?

London Bridge crosses the Thames River in London. ... There are many possible interpretations for just what Fergie's "London Bridge" refers to, but she seems to be "falling" for a guy every time he comes by. The collapsing bridge is a metaphor for her inability to resist his charms.

Perfectly innocent.

It took til definition 4 on Urban Dictionary, I just wanted to confirm I wasn't mad and hadn't dreamt it up myself.

[Cloud]

Disappointingly, "zig a zig ah" apparently is not sexual at all but refers to some stage manager or something who used to smoke a cigar while having a shit.  They called him 'shit and cigars'

[imitationleather]

I would love to go to a club that only played songs about doing anal.

[holyzombiejesus]

Some velvet mornin' when I'm straight
I'm gonna open up your gate

Lee's voice just fucking makes this.

[non capisco]

I'm sure all CaBbers will finally be able to agree on one thing and that thing is that 'Deep' By East 17 is almost too erotic. I myself am unable to hear a second of it without spontaneously ejaculating in my pants with the delirious intensity of wank number one, which is how I lost my job as the curator of The East 17 Museum in Walthamstow.

Listen, if you can handle it, to the carnal web Tony Mortimer's words weave.

Oil your skin within, hold ya tight
Yeah, I butter the toast
If you lick the knife

PHWOARRRR!
Knife - he means his cock
Toast - he means her fanny.

I've never been able to eat breakfast again without a raging diamond cutter straining to escape its cloth prison.

[H-O-W-L]

Show me 'round your fruit cage
'Cause I will be your honey bee
Open up your fruit cage
Where the fruit is as sweet as can be

[Twed]

Just Like Honey is one of the few examples of this that doesn't seem soppy and disgusting.

[H-O-W-L]

Sledgehammer feels more like Pee-Gabes is taking the absolute piss out of sex songs as a whole rather than an earnest fuck-a-pump anthem. Am I dumb as fuck for not thinking this is the whole point of it? Because I thought it was sincere for a while.

[non capisco]

Yeah, I also think there's a raised eyebrow element to him boasting about shoving his sledgehammer up someone's solsbury hill.

[The Culture Bunker]

Just Like Honey is one of the few examples of this that doesn't seem soppy and disgusting.

I dunno. That bit about "eating up the scum" seemed a tad rude to me - not like those Reid brothers were the most hygienic lads in the world back then.

[Twed]

The absolute fucking filthiness of it ("honey dripping beehive") is why it's not cringe-inducing. J&MC are suggesting "dripping wet cummy fucked cunt", where Peter Gabriel suggests "beautiful love flower tunnel of love" and it's all so sincere and icky.

[thecuriousorange]

Apparently Jailhouse Rock is about gay sex.

EDIT: I've just been reading the lyrics. The subtext is like something from Judas Priest.

Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone
Little Joe was blowin' on the slide trombone
The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang
The whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang

Let's rock everybody, let's rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock

Number forty-seven said to number three
"You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see
I sure would be delighted with your company
Come on and do the Jailhouse Rock with me"

[a duncandisorderly]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM6I-pmV0RA

stay down stay down....

[Black Ship]

I'm not 100% sure but I think that Kelis' milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard is her muff.

Her tits would make more sense.

[non capisco]

Apparently Jailhouse Rock is about gay sex.

EDIT: I've just been reading the lyrics. The subtext is like something from Judas Priest.

Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone
Little Joe was blowin' on the slide trombone
The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang
The whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang

Let's rock everybody, let's rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock

Number forty-seven said to number three
"You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see
I sure would be delighted with your company
Come on and do the Jailhouse Rock with me"

"If you can't find a partner use a wooden chair" is a desolate lyric in the circumstances. Imagine all them jail lads kissing and sticking a cheeky digit up each others aris, intoxicated by the raw freeing power of rock 'n' roll. There you are, rejected by even the most cauliflower eared and facially scarred of the prison populace, forced to sum up the masturbatory possibilities of a wooden chair. Think of the splinters, for a start. And you'd have to borrow the saw from somewhere.

[Famous Mortimer]

Apparently Rapper's Delight has one, "we like hot butter on our breakfast toast", but I can't find any backing for this.

[The Culture Bunker]

The absolute fucking filthiness of it ("honey dripping beehive") is why it's not cringe-inducing. J&MC are suggesting "dripping wet cummy fucked cunt", where Peter Gabriel suggests "beautiful love flower tunnel of love" and it's all so sincere and icky.

No, I mean, I get what you're saying, just that maybe their girlfriends should have released an "answer" song called 'Just Like Edam'.

[McChesney Duntz]

My Bloody Valentine had a few - actually, they were usually fairly blunt ("lick lick lick and suck suck suck," etc.), but there was also the likes of this'n:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMBjKDSznuM

[Dr Rock]

'I'm like a one-eyed cat peeping in a sea food store'

Shake, Rattle & Roll.

[samadriel]

I'm not 100% sure but I think that Kelis' milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard is her muff.

It's her tits, and the shaking of them.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

This is all pure conjecture and speculation. Has Kelis ever clarified exactly what her milkshake is?

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

This is all pure conjecture and speculation. Has Kelis ever clarified exactly what her milkshake is?

Better than yours.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Hah! Fucking hell.

[jobotic]

King Bee by Slim Harpo (covered by The Rolling Stones without the second verse)

Well, I'm a king bee, buzzin' around your hive
Well, I'm a king bee, buzzin' around your hive
Well, I can make honey, baby, let me come inside

[Verse 2]
I'm young and able to buzz all night long
I'm young and able to buzz all night long
Well, when you hear me buzzin', baby, some stingin' is going on

[Bridge]
Well, buzz a while
Sting it, then

[Verse 3]
Well, I'm a king bee, want you to be my queen
Well, I'm a king bee, want you to be my queen
Together, we can make honey, the world haven't never seen

[Verse 4]
Well, I'm a king bee, can buzz all night long
Well, I'm a king bee, can buzz all night long
Well, I can buzz better, baby, when your man is gone

[thelittlemango]

Bob Dylan on the Portland recordings:

I remember the strong man Phil Pfister
With THOSE hands, and THAT name
Boy, my gaper it ain't missed ya
Me say, ah me say, what do me say? Me say ah he de fist me