Author Topic: The Great British Bake-Off 2019  (Read 9235 times)

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #30 on: September 05, 2019, 02:03:38 PM »
Are the incessant innuendos a key part of this now? It just seems so forced. At least in the carry on films they had some kind of basis for making them, and probably featured at a lower rate than it does in bake off.

I'm talking as someone who's sat through a reasonable number of these over the last few years.

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #31 on: September 05, 2019, 02:09:17 PM »
I'm not sure if it's the fact I'm continually analysing everything said on the show to determine if it was supposed to be an innuendo or not. It's annoying me that I'm putting so much effort into it when it really doesn't deserve it.

daf

  • Laminated with 'Clarifoil'
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #32 on: September 05, 2019, 03:08:13 PM »
What have we had so far? . .

"Furry Garden" = Fairy Garden cake (sounds rude enough as it is)

"How big is your Organ" = Pipe organ cake (other options : "How do you keep your pipe from flopping? / stay upright")

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #33 on: September 05, 2019, 03:35:37 PM »
Yes, it's always been this smutty, it's just more jarring now because Muuuury Berry was so much better at keeping a straight face than giggling schoolboy Paul:




Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #34 on: September 05, 2019, 03:36:07 PM »
The other scenario is I'm massively over analysing it and c. 20 years of CaB membership has polluted my mind beyond all recognition.

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #35 on: September 05, 2019, 03:43:55 PM »
Furry garden was mentioned a few times, and it apparently went over the contestants head. Until she begrudgingly had to say yes I have relatively large amounts of public hair. Now please let me continue with cake baking.

I know how Im sounding with this. I think low to moderate levels of innuendo in this is fine and will enhance the experience for all. It's just I've noticed in this series its almost relentless, as if they're being all edgy with it. But they're the ones who have deliberately tried to create the sterile, asexual, and inclusive atmosphere to the programme.

Blue Jam

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Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #36 on: September 05, 2019, 03:51:58 PM »
Sterile and asexual is better than Paul being pervy...

dr beat

  • You're dealing with loved ones, I won't have it
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #37 on: September 05, 2019, 03:52:23 PM »
Yes, it's always been this smutty, it's just more jarring now because Muuuury Berry was so much better at keeping a straight face than giggling schoolboy Paul:


What was that line - 'I've never tried hemp'?

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #38 on: September 05, 2019, 03:53:51 PM »
"What is hemp? Is it a kind of grass?"

Come on Muuuuury, we all know you lived through the Sixties...

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #39 on: September 05, 2019, 10:19:13 PM »
Furry garden was mentioned a few times, and it apparently went over the contestants head. Until she begrudgingly had to say yes I have relatively large amounts of public hair. Now please let me continue with cake baking.

I know how Im sounding with this. I think low to moderate levels of innuendo in this is fine and will enhance the experience for all. It's just I've noticed in this series its almost relentless, as if they're being all edgy with it. But they're the ones who have deliberately tried to create the sterile, asexual, and inclusive atmosphere to the programme.

Mel & Sue were much better at handling it (oooh-errr). The new duo seem much more forced and have zero chemistry.

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #40 on: September 10, 2019, 09:50:04 PM »
"When Alice isn't busy with her pets or her job as a vet, she's using instruments from work in her bakes"

That was a dog's bum thermometer she just put into that cake, wasn't it?

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #41 on: September 10, 2019, 09:51:56 PM »
Paul hates matcha. He also hates chilli. And booze in baking.This week: Three different types of chilli bread and one with rum-soaked fruit.The bakers never learn... Mind you, Paul is a philistine...

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #42 on: September 10, 2019, 10:36:55 PM »
Fougasse, good choice- it looks fancy but is a piece of piss to make. George Osborne done good this week.

Alice The Vet's safari Park bread looks great.

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #43 on: September 14, 2019, 04:17:42 PM »
Had a chuckle about Steph being in Dark Crystal, but now that I learned she works three jobs (at three different shoe stores?) I find her quite lovely.

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #44 on: September 16, 2019, 01:41:07 PM »
https://www.bakewithalegend.com/

No, you won't be baking with LEGEND GARY, but with a Bake-Off legend of your choice! Or Ian.

Pijlstaart's Christmas present is sorted...

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #45 on: September 17, 2019, 02:19:27 AM »
Is Andrew on Cameo? I would pitch in for him to be paid to read us a Pijlstaart post.

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #46 on: September 17, 2019, 10:27:47 AM »
I'd help crowdfund a private lesson with Andrew for Pijlstaart on the condition that Pijlstaart comes back here and posts a 5,000 word review of the experience.

Tonight: it's "Dairy Week". What the fuck is that all about? Good thing they've got no vegans in this year...

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #47 on: September 17, 2019, 11:14:58 AM »
Shame they haven't got Manon involved. I'd sign up for classes, give her some flowers and marry her.

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #48 on: September 17, 2019, 11:26:54 AM »
I suspect half their annual turnover comes from Paul Hollywood booking repeated sessions with Ugne and Julia.

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #49 on: September 25, 2019, 07:30:06 PM »
"For the Signature Challenge, you have to bake four 1920's-themed custard pies"

Er what

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #50 on: September 25, 2019, 07:37:43 PM »
"Rabbits are the worst. They just wanna die. Rabbits are not my thing.

If your rabbit is ill, find a vet other than Alice.

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #51 on: September 25, 2019, 07:48:11 PM »
"For the Signature Challenge, you have to bake four 1920's-themed custard pies"

Er wh

“I did these to evoke the classic movie monsters from the 20s.”

That’s clearly not what we asked for.

“I decorated mine with the disembodied heads of French whores.”

Yes! You’ve nailed the brief perfectly!

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #52 on: September 25, 2019, 08:08:09 PM »
"For the Showstopper, we want you to make a 1920's Prohibition-themed cake. With booze in it"

Last week was Dairy Week, is this WTF Week?

seepage

  • throwing a dog at some goblins
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #53 on: September 26, 2019, 08:32:12 AM »
“I did these to evoke the classic movie monsters from the 20s.”

That’s clearly not what we asked for.

“I decorated mine with the disembodied heads of French whores.”

Yes! You’ve nailed the brief perfectly!

I think she missed a trick not saying her sea creature was a Cthuloid monster from the 20s. Surely a proper goth would have read Lovecraft?

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #54 on: October 02, 2019, 06:58:39 PM »
Awww I reckon Steph has got this in the bag. That's warmed my cockles a bit.

Dessert Week always has lots of horrible-sounding recipes though. Too much jelly and meringue and that.

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #55 on: October 16, 2019, 07:36:38 PM »
PAUL HOLLYWOOD: So, what's the connection between the sweet and savoury flavours?
EMBRYONIC GEORGE OSBORNE: They're just nice flavours
PAUL HOLLYWOOD: SAYS WHO?

Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #56 on: October 16, 2019, 07:38:11 PM »
Big laughs.

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #57 on: October 16, 2019, 07:43:27 PM »
All this pie is making me hungry.

AsparagusTrevor

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  • I'm fine, thank you.
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #58 on: October 23, 2019, 09:51:34 AM »
Alice's chocolate starfish looked very pale.

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The Great British Bake-Off 2019
« Reply #59 on: October 23, 2019, 05:54:57 PM »
"What's the biggest animal you've castrated?"

Oh Noel, you really haven't got the hang of innuendo have you?