Computer games you think should be made

[Fambo Number Mive]

An Alan Patridge console game. Could be mission based and could also have a section where you have to find Alan something to do that will interest him. You  can unlock a series of items such as a signed photo of Roger Moore, Alan's magazines, dictaphone. Alan has a boredom meter, if it gets to high he goes to his room and the mission is over
Also a narcicism meter - too high and he spends the rest of the mission preening himself.

Could start with IAP1, then there is a mission to get a second series from dead Feather, then IAP2. Could have a KMKY/TDT expansion pack.

Cheats include all items, level skip, play as Lynn, sound like Chris Morris.

Alan needs to eat a twelve inch plate of breakfast every 24 hours in the game, he needs to make money for this by signing autographs.

[Replies From View]

A computer game with Jeremy Irons and his son filling loads of raisins up with sleeping powder so that pheasants eat them.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Sounds like a dismissed idea for a dvd Easter egg.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Craig Emulator

[Replies From View]

How about a computer game where you get to control some kind of plumber who collects little golden discs and goes into tubes and everything

And there could be angry glans-like things that you have to jump on to make them go killed, and when there is a red one you get larger or with a green one you could get an extra life

[Replies From View]

How about also a blue dog that collects holes

[Jerzy Bondov]

Make a fucking boring game but say it's about anxiety. Rake in the money.

[popcorn]

Alan Partridge could actually be the subject of a very good point-and-click adventure game, LucasArts style. The difficult part would be the graphics. You obviously couldn't do like a polygonal or cartoon Alan, that'd be utter shit. So you could perhaps do it all using live-action stuff, like that Christopher Lloyd game Toonstruck, which might be appropriately bleak and depressing and multimedia, or failing that a very primitive pixel art version could be good.

[biggytitbo]

My idea for an open world Columbo game is long overdue. Maybe Rockstar could do it in the mold of LA Noire?

[madhair60]

Alan Partridge could actually be the subject of a very good point-and-click adventure game, LucasArts style. The difficult part would be the graphics. You obviously couldn't do like a polygonal or cartoon Alan, that'd be utter shit. So you could perhaps do it all using live-action stuff, like that Christopher Lloyd game Toonstruck, which might be appropriately bleak and depressing and multimedia, or failing that a very primitive pixel art version could be good.

I'd do it like one of those Electron text-based games, or like a Legend Software thing with digitised photos of Alan doing stuff while the rest of the game is essentially a text adventure. I'd called it Choose Your Own Alanventure

[popcorn]

Actually yes a text adventure would be the most appropriately Alan. In fact he could have written all the text.

[kittens]

How about a computer game where you get to control some kind of plumber who collects little golden discs and goes into tubes and everything

And there could be angry glans-like things that you have to jump on to make them go killed, and when there is a red one you get larger or with a green one you could get an extra life

i'm interested in this idea and excited about where it could lead. have you considered including an enormous green tortoise-like beast that is entirely covered in green spikes and is able to create plumes of flame that rocket along at a fixed distance from the ground? have you thought about a colour the 'plumber' should entirely be?

[bgmnts]

I always wanted a GTA open world style game with the X Men. It would be so cool.

[Jerzy Bondov]

i'm interested in this idea and excited about where it could lead. have you considered including an enormous green tortoise-like beast that is entirely covered in green spikes and is able to create plumes of flame that rocket along at a fixed distance from the ground? have you thought about a colour the 'plumber' should entirely be?

this but they drive around in little cars

[Famous Mortimer]

Real shagging

[Replies From View]

this but they drive around in little cars

Not sure how cars could fit into it but certainly a giant green tortoise thing with all the flames and so on.

Maybe the plumber could be entirely red?  That's the opposite of green right?

[An Actual Propeller]

A WWE sandbox style game like Grand Theft Auto where you as Brock Lesnar just roams the streets and F5's or germans every cunt.  Or Randy Orton RKOing everybody.

[H-O-W-L]

A Mad Max style game but with helicopters. Wasteland warriors flying a bunch of patched-up Cold War gunships and stuff. Would be a belter if it were done well.

[imitationleather]

Prayer Simulator

[JesusAndYourBush]

Too late now, but back when Susan Boyle was a thing someone should have done SuBo Wrestling.  It needn't have been a proper game, just one of those little flash games that you play for 10 minutes then forget about would have sufficed.

[Thursday]

Telltales Derry Girls

[The Boston Crab]

Make a fucking boring game but say it's about anxiety. Rake in the money.

Amen.

I  say that as a madman. Gets on my wick. Borin. Don't tell anyone about it, except the doc or your shrenk. If that doesn't work after three weeks, fine. You give it your best shot, no good. Bye.

I look on Twitter and look at some wankers profile and it says:

25 / M / Depression/anxiety/FGM/aids/pixel art

and I'm thinking FUCKS SAKE that's how you define yourself? No wonder your fucked you fuckin idiot.

Anyone on the same page? Seems like the kind of thing people don like to hear but I don't like to hear everyones depressed as fuck and all that.

[bgmnts]

Aren't these divs the main customer base for your imaginary gaming pub?

[The Boston Crab]

Are you kidding me?

Actually, I dunno, I never thought about that, I just assumed they're all cool guys and girls.

[Pseudopath]

Bit of an obvious one...an open-world Grand Theft Auto-style engine, but based on your own hometown like Monopoly. Perhaps they could figure out a franchise model where the developers send someone a roof-mounted HD camera and laser scanner to map out their town and they get a chunk of the profits of whoever downloads and plays their map.

Nah...probably be a load of shit like The Getaway.

[biggytitbo]

An Anus Cop real time strategy game.

[the]

An Anus Cop real time strategy game.

Anus Cop is a dynamic thrusting show about a slightly crap gumshoe and his packed lunches, why the fuck would anyone making a boring cunt's game like that with it.




A mahjong sim would be much more appropriate

     

[Replies From View]

A Christmas Carol, except a mishap at the beginning of the first level (Scrooge needs to leave his house through a window, whereupon he lands in some brambles) means that Scrooge has the seat of his trousers torn open and his arse showing for the entire game.

[Pinball]

MeToo Man- newly unemployed anxiety pill-munching dude gets chased by angry skirt. Fun for the whole ex-family.

[kittens]

MeToo Man- newly unemployed anxiety pill-munching dude gets chased by angry skirt. Fun for the whole ex-family.

you're not allowed to say anything anymore Man:
you go around a huge open world explorable interactive map, but your mouth is blindfolded (? - what is blindfold for mouth? check before publishing) and you see all kinds of homosexuals and sikhs get promotions but you aren't allowed to say anything anymore. the last boss is megan markle marrying Prince Harry (? - check this too) and you aren't allowed to say anything at all.