LEGEND GARY PART TWO

[Glebe]

Gary begins to devolve and all he says now is "Yeah, lads," and looks more shifty getting off the bus, looking around him hither and thither.

[Glebe]

Gary and Daz debate chips or beans for tea. Chips win in what Gary describes as "a landslide victory."

[Sebastian Cobb]

"I don't care how hot it is Daz, only posties and nonces wear shorts"

2 pints later:

[Glebe]

That's Gary's Uncle Greg. "Funniest fucker ever Daz, the original Ledge!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary hangs up another load of Union Jack bunting before saluting the Union Jack flag and scratching his balls through his Union Jack underpants.

[Glebe]

Gary gets stoned and bench-presses Daz for an hour.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary cleans his picture of the Queen.

"Best of British, Daz. Best of British"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Gary and Daz debate chips or beans for tea. Chips win in what Gary describes as "a landslide victory."

Laughed

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary insists you are born with a milk rectum, that falls out them you get your adult rectum that must be cleaned with paste twice a day, while you wait to get older to discover if your wisdom rectum sprouts.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary posts a couple.of tweets defending Brewdog, partly in the hope.of a free sample, partly to ensure his staff don't write an open letter

[Glebe]

Laughed

Thanks Shoulders! Hang on, why am I thanking you for involuntarily laughing?!

Gary has to be restrained after Daz calls him "a common oik with more aggression than sense."

[Glebe]

"Fully vaccinated, Daz!"

"Hang on Gary you haven't booked your appointment with the vax centre yet!""

"Injected a full Jif Lemon into me veins Daz, I'll be grand!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary is told he can't choose the topic "why do only fools and horses work" for his dissertation.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Everyone is really getting into having a new Chinese mate, proper lad, loves the banter, sits there and takes it for hours, sits there getting hazed like a schoolboy bitch and takes it all, not like some of them, and actually, his Pubes game is so strong there's a discussion on whether Daz should be stripped of his title.

'Pubes Yin' does really work, opines Steak Terry.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Didn't realise Legend Gary used to be married: https://twitter.com/sh44sti/status/1403113048160837637

[Glebe]

Daz convinces Gary that Ribena has "magical rejuvenating powers."

[Glebe]

Gary is "overwhelmed" by GB News. "At last Daz, a news station that gets 'me'. I don't even mind that there's too many non-white presenters, prolly softening in my old age!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary writes to Andrew Neil asking to appear, saying he will put the "G" in "GB News"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary won't delete Kate McCann's number from his phone 'in case she changes her mind'.

[Glebe]

"Daz, for too long has the oppressive yoke of 'woke' culture constrained the good straight, white, male folk of our glorious nation. It's time to break free from these shackles and reclaim Britain from the PC Snowflakes! Oh England, my England!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary gets a little stiffy whenever he sees a Union Jack. At least that was the excuse when he was arrested outside the primary school. "I was saluting the flag in my own way" he told officers.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary is selected as the Labour candidate for an upcoming by-election. He wasn't even a member of the party until they sought him out, but his dislike for Labour was outshone by his desire to sit in the House of Commons and let off farts.

[Glebe]

Daz has to explain to Gary what misanthropic means when Gary asks him why he never joins in on kickabouts with the lads.

[king_tubby]

Every square centimetre of Daz's spare room carpet tests positive for Legend Gary's DNA.

[Glebe]

Gary throws Daz so hard he leaves Earth's atmosphere.

[Glebe]

"A week ago you didn't even know who Andrew Neil was. Now you can't stop going on about him, Gary!"

"He's always been a hero of mine Daz, has Andrew Beale!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary readies Spotify for his 1,000th play of Three Lions (Baddiel and Skinner).

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary pops round to have a cheeky pint with Daz, downloads 850MB of porn onto Daz's laptop and blames his 4 year old son.

[Glebe]

Daz and the rest of the neighbourhood is awoken at 5AM by the sound of Kylie Minogue's 'Spinning Around'. Opening the curtains, Daz spots Gary dancing naked on the heath with his smartphone hooked up to a pair of big speakers. "That'll be that bag of angel dust," cringes Daz to himself, crawling back into bed with embarrassment.

[Glebe]

Daz describes Gary as "an affront to civil decency."