LEGEND GARY PART TWO

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary takes a tumble at the stadium: https://twitter.com/chunkymark/status/1413009504539656193

[Glebe]

Gary dresses up as Mussolini and goes to an Antifa rally "to crush some woke snowflakes!"

Legend Gary takes a tumble at the stadium: https://twitter.com/chunkymark/status/1413009504539656193

DAZ: I told you to cut down on the steak bakes Gary!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Steak and Gaz in the airport waiting lounge at Gatwick.

Legend Gary: I tell you what you can't beat, mate!
Steak Terry: What's that?
Legend Gary: I know you won't agree...
Steak Terry: Why
Legend Gary: You just won't mate but I tell you what you can't beat, what you absolutely cannot beat
Steak Terry: What?
Legend Gary: EGGS

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary tells a confused Daz he will never watch an episode of the Sopranos ever again.

He's already thrown a load of pasta in the bin. "Only British sausages and British mash potato for me from now on Daz, if it was good enough for Winston Churchill it's good enough for me"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary: Daz, I am going to make you disabled.

Daz: What, when?

Legend Gary: Mmm......  ...Friday.

[Wanking Monk of Kefalonia]

Just read a story about England fans setting off fireworks outside the Italy team's hotel in the middle of the night before the cup final, which struck me as being peak Legend Gary.

[Glebe]

In a surprize twist, Gary discovers that "that hippie woman next door" really does has the powers of a witch when she invites he and Daz around for tea and turns them both into monkeys.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary makes Pubes Daz ashamed about the curvature of his eyelashes.

"They're an embarrassment to you and everyone else here, mate."

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary and Daz claim to be former Labour voters during a focus group with Keith Starmar, despite neither having voted Labour in their life.

"Under 25s, they've got no stamina, they dont want to work" claims Gary. "How many of them bother to start their own business or go door to door asking if they have any jobs"

Starmar chuckles and repeats his words back to him like a robot. Gary fails to mention he was "employed" by his dad's advertising firm during his early twenties, which mainly involved getting in the way of people doing actual work and snorting coke. Still, it paid fifteen grand a year, if he can do that why cant those snowflakes?

[Glebe]

Gary has an argument with Smelly Brenford and punts him into a canal.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

New Gary insults: 'Gelm' and 'Arndale' (like the Arndale Centre).

[Fambo Number Mive]

top right: Gary
bottom 4th from left: Daz

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-57878364

[Glebe]

"I'm sick of it Daz. You walk down the street now, you're lucky to hear one person speaking the Queen's English. It's like living in a foreign country. England ain't England no more... it's green and pleasant lands have been blotted out by Asian cornershops and mosques!"

"What are you going to do about it Gary?"

"I'm gonna start a race war, Daz. I'm gonna start a race war."

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary is in Parliament Square yelling "OPEN THE PUBS"

"They've been open for some time, Gary"

"Shut up Daz!"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

What's the first nightclub you're heading to Gary?


Have given this some thought Daz - as you might expect - no stone left unturned - and on balance: The Bankers Draft Wetherspoons Free House

[Glebe]

"I DEMAND A PINT!"

"Here you go mate."

"Yeah but I have to drink it out here."

"It's blazing hot, Gary."

"Don't you start, Daz! Otherwise you'll be joining this bloke in A&E!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Ledge was glad he always has a football in the boot of his car:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-57900658

[Chollis]

Gary's newly registed charity Beers Without Borders is abandoned after just 3 hours when he's glassed by a Polish man in town

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary describes the NHS 3% pay rise as "too high, all they do is make tiktok videos and look annoyed when I come into A&E a few bevvies down and a cut on my jaw"

"In fairness Gary, the last time you visited it was a shaving cut."

"Still could have given me a lollipop though Daz, but that's what happens when you say you're English"

[Glebe]

"MASK MENTALLER! MASK MENTALLER!"

"Fuck's sake Gary, can't even pop into Tesco Express without you following me everywhere!"

"Oh it's you, Daz! MASK MENTALLER! DON'T FORGET TO USE THE HAND SANITISER AS YOU LEAVE! GAY!"

[madhair60]

Legend Gary signs his son's birthday card as "Legend Gary"

[Chollis]

Gary assures Daz he's a multi-instrumentalist, because he can play with his dick and his balls!

[Beagle 2]

Legend Gary is intercepted at the gate of a Donkey Sanctuary carrying a tattooing kit.

"Some Freedom Day this is you dobbin fuckers"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary signs his son's birthday card as "Legend Gary"

Legend Gary posts the card using the address 'My sons address in Portsmouth'

[Glebe]

There's a gift card for a local 'massage parlour' inside.

"There you go son, break your cherry."

"But dad, I'm only 13."

"So was I, son. So was I."

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Gary finds a big crisp

I laughed

[Glebe]

Gary is planning an attack on a face mask manufacturing plant. "Lot of Pakistanis working there Daz, so it's two birds with one stone."

[Pink Gregory]

WHAT'S SORTED DAZ WHAT'S SORTED DAZ EH EH EH EH

Is is the beakend, Gal?

THAT'S THE BEAKEND SORTED DAZ, ROLL ON THE BEAKEND

[Glebe]

Gary boasts about breaking wind.

"I can break the wind, Daz with my karate skills."

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary watches Series 7 of Hollyoaks back to back.