LEGEND GARY PART TWO

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary promises to give that Rehydration Sachet bloke 'a hangover to wipe that smug cunt off the map'.

Legend Gary says not going through with raping someone after spiking their drink is 'a waste of good drugs' and 'unethical if anything'.

Legend Gary is annoyed to discover that Stealthing is 'bad now'.

[Glebe]

Gary mocks Daz by dubbing him "Masky McMaskface."

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary keeps boasting about his "man juice"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary kicks over his 10,000 children's sandcastle. "The look in their fucking eyes when I do that" he boasts to an embarrassed Daz.

[Glebe]

Gary is deemed "a legend in me own lockdown" by Gary heself.

[Sherringford Hovis]

Gary explains why his fantasy threesome involves Proxy Paige and Penny Pax.
"The alliteration, Daz, the alliteration. Probably some assonance, too. A proper cocksmith has gotta be classy about these things, it's about more than just shaggin' away at some furry hoops."

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

'What is this quintessence of Daz?'

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Something is rotten in this branch of Primark

[Glebe]

"Gary, why are you wearing that red jacket and crash helmet?"

"Never mind that Daz, just put on this papier-mâché fox head and get running."

[Glebe]

Gary sneaks into the Tokyo Olympics and manages to enter as a contestant in the gymnastics. His performance is described as "elegant and graceful" and he gains high marks from the judges.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Daz: Did you watch King Gary last night mate?

Legend: Course I fucking didn't. Lip!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Your mum fails the Pubes Daz Doorstep Challenge

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary sits in a bucket of urine and fucks it.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary throws his own birthday party in order to win a 'Legend Gary' birthday prize.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary writes a letter to the editor of a newspaper explaining why he should be free of the law.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary is a "wank" victim of the British Transport Police.

Legend Gary hangs for forty days and nights from a gibbet.

[Glebe]

Gary stands inside the door at Tesco and pulls the masks off people coming in. "Jimmy Swissknife is the security guard here, he turns a blind eye to it Daz!"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary plays a game called 'Bag the Bastard', consisting of blowing up bags of shit.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary is shot in the gut by a rival.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary suggests replacing the Olympics with "one big drinking contest"

[king_tubby]

The 'Paralytic' games, Daz? Do you get it? Daz? Daz???

[Glebe]

Gary suggests foreign aid be "repurposed to fund a Stella drive for thirsty Brits!"

[Glebe]

Gary discovers that Conor McGregor is his second cousin and immediately declares the IRA "a great bunch of lads."

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary makes a snide remark to a passing snail and gets a snail shell stuck on his shoe.

[dex]

Legend Gary inadvertently eats shit.

[Pink Gregory]

Legend Gary subsequently deliberately eats shit, for 'laffs'

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary dances to a recording of his own heartbeat in the town hall's toilet.

[Glebe]

Gary still thinks it's the 1990's. "I'm eight years old forever, Daz!"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary takes a taxi home to 'save on bus fare'.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary gives a pile of Maxim magazine to the charity shop.