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LEGEND GARY PART TWO

Started by Fambo Number Mive, August 28, 2019, 08:17:01 AM

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Glebe

Quote from: jenna appleseed on October 25, 2021, 06:15:47 PMGarry's mum says her little Gazza's such a brave boy, isn't that right, our Gaz?

"He certainly deserves more then the 1% he receives from Gary Wine Missus Gary."

Glebe

Gary buys the world's biggest Union Jack and plants it in his front garden. Every morning hence, he takes a minute to proudly salute, giving a chorus of the National Anthem and a cry of "YAREE-HOY, OUR BRAVE BOYS! YAREE-HOY!"

petril

when Gary comes round, he always salutes your flag and adds GOD BLESS AMERICA, EH? EH? then appeals for the laugh

Glebe

"Remember that two weeks in Florida Daz, fuckin' 'ell! US flags everywhere, they're right up themselves the yanks!"

Fambo Number Mive

Gary's boss tells him for a second time not to use "lovely jubbley" when emailing someone.




Glebe

Gary has found his ideal vocation as a taxi driver, going the long way round, leaving the meter running and saying things like "there's too many of them coming over, don't you agree with me?"

Fambo Number Mive

Also "accidentally" leaving a whoopee cushion on the back seat.

Glebe

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on October 28, 2021, 11:32:39 AMAlso "accidentally" leaving a whoopee cushion on the back seat.

"Sorry mate I just needed cheering up I'm in court tomorrow for putting my hand a passenger's knee. Before you ask, it was a bird I ain't one of them homos."

Glebe

Gary writes his bucket list on an actual bucket.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Glebe on October 28, 2021, 08:18:19 PM
Gary writes his bucket list on an actual bucket.

Enjoyed that one

Glebe

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on October 28, 2021, 10:07:09 PMEnjoyed that one

I was thinking 'was that done already?' I feel like McCartney writing 'Yesterday'!*

*Not that it's that standard in joke terms obviously.

Glebe

Gary dresses up as a terrorist for Halloween. "Fuckin' edgelord Daz!"

Glebe

"You're a really great guy, Daz."

"Thanks Gary!"

By which Gary meant Daz would make a great Guy Fawkes Night 'guy' and he ends up getting roasted on a bonfire.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Fireworks night sends Legend Gary into a slough of despond after recalling the 'copycat' antics of Euro 2020 arse firework man.

'Why oh why didn't I copyright that'

Glebe


jenna appleseed

All the fireworks up his bum made him take off like a rocket and that's where he crash landed.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

twirling his arms around mid air
*look Daz I'm a Catharine wheel*

*crunch* bounce bounch *ouch* arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

king_tubby

Legend Gary has finally got the PDO paperwork through and from now on 'dick cheese' must be referred to as 'smegma' unless it has been scraped from the geographical region of Gary's helmet.

jenna appleseed

^ you mean Gary Cheese  surely?

king_tubby

Have some fucking respect for BRITISH tradition, commie.

Glebe

Gary absolutely batters Daz, slamming him head-first into a see-saw and generally 'ramming' him against lampposts.

Glebe

"Remember, remember, the Ledge of November, look at the size of my cock! I know of no reason why the Ledge-cock this season, it's girth should ever be mocked!"

Glebe

Gary and Daz are playing FIFA on the PlayStation when Gary suddenly breaks the silence.

"Y'know Daz, I think about Our Brave Boys fighting the talibans over in the desert and then I think of YOU, sitting here playing your computer game like a big coward!"

With that, Gary is out of his chair and on Daz, bashing him senseless with his controller.

Glebe

"So you're not going trans then Daz?"

"Gary I told you that was just a Halloween costume."

Glebe

Gary builds his own Angel of the North out of Stella cans.

Glebe

Gary and Daz go see Dune but Gary gets bored within the first five minutes and decides to amuse himself by going around the cinema "spreading the covid."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

It isn't all fun and games moans Gary, some of this shit takes weeks of prep, dog shit doesn't pick itself

petril

Gary doesn't like his friends any more. they don't really respond when he bullies them now, and strangers can just go away and not be around him

Glebe

Gary instructs Daz to don a Steven Seagal mask then belts him up the arse.

Glebe

Gary makes his own Hadron Collider that is powered by Stella.

Glebe

Gary's photography of "one of them flying saucers" is given short shrift by a local ufologist, who's description of it as "a Wagon Wheel on a stick" is entirely accurate.