LEGEND GARY PART TWO

[BlodwynPig]

"He raped men, Gaz"

"You fucking what!!!!?"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Just because one member of the FB holiday group page RAPISTS ON TOUR actually raped someone shouldn't mean the rest of us get tarred with the same brush, expresses Legend Gary.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary has a bright idea for a delivery company that is 'banter-forward'.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Legend Gary self-publishes Legend Gary: A Funny Thing Happened on the way to Pube Daz's Tit Talk via the Tattoo Parlour

on his LGBeaTsupQueers imprint.

[madhair60]

Legend Gary accidentally-on-purpose becomes viceroy of Colchester

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary attempts to sue the BBC for the series KING GARY

Pubes unhelpfully points out 'but it's King isn't it, not Legend'.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary starts referring to someone as Brufen after seeing them take literally just the 1 tablet of it across the span of an entire decade.

He will never stop.

Y'alrite Brufen?!

The guys fucking hates it though won't let on. Legend Gary know intrinsically that's the case. You don't become this much of a cunt by accident, he innerspeaks.

[Bum Flaps]

Sprin and Paress are just glad the heat's off them now

[Pingers]

"'ere Daz, choose a number between 5 and 8"

"Er, 6"

"Gay number that, mate"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary pledges £17.40 towards the cost of ringing Big Ben. Then another £58, in case they didn't get the first reference.

He will be there on the 31st January, in his Union Jack trousers.

[Chollis]

"ere Daz, if I should die, think only this of me: that there's some corner of a foreign field, that is for ever Gary"

"yeah course mate"

[seepage]

Gary launches the De La Warr Pavilion with a can of Stella.

[Pingers]

Daz, you know that gay conversion therapy?

Um.... yeah?

Well pack your bags, I've got us 2 weeks in Los Lesbianos. Gonna give them a taste of what they've been missing, amirite?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

"'ere Daz, choose a number between 5 and 8"

"Er, 6"

"Gay number that, mate"

Sublime

[Fambo Number Mive]

The council are having a competition to rename one of their bin lorries. Whilst he enlists all his family and friends to enter Legend Gary as the name,  Gary is annoyed to see Binny Mc BinLorry chosen.

[petril]

The runner-up was the name of that young girl who was murdered the other year. Legend Gary was 6th

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The council are having a competition to rename one of their bin lorries. Whilst he enlists all his family and friends to enter Legend Gary as the name,  Gary is annoyed to see Binny Mc BinLorry chosen.

Laughed

[dex]

"Anyway, I was on me motorbike doing 120 mph through the High Road -and I fucking crash into the back of this dick-head bus. I go through the rear winsdcreen, get up ring the bell to stop the bus and get off of it completely fine!"

No, Gary. No one's going to believe you.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Here Daz, I did that puzzle box out of hellraiser, but the Cenobytes let me go 'cos I'm already a member of the order of the gash.

[Blue Jam]

Legend Gary persuades his local pub to let him DJ.

Gets barred after they see the flyers:

https://donotlink.it/LaQVy

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary calms down the crowd after an ostentatious switch to San Miguel mid-sesh.

Steak Terry pipes up with a 'flash bastard' at the back.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Tell you what's great, opines our erstwhile hero, Mr Legend Gary

GETTIN PAID LOADS FOR NOWT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


AHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary bemoans the effect of sterling devaluation on his ability to buy sex abroad.

Still glad we're out though, don't get me wrong.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary and Daz's visit to the Highlands was eventful: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/four-idiots-trainers-rescued-ben-21471514

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary's stomach acid corrodes the pumping equipment.

'They warned me next time they'll bill me. Some NHS now eh', he boast moans.

[dex]

"Daz, I knew that Phil Skoda was a poof! I bet him and Andy Peters used to bum each other in that fuckin broom cupboard that was on the telly."

"Ledge, you seem to know all sorts of people are gay. I think its known as a gaydar in the vernacular. I'm sure you've heard the expression it takes one to know one?"

"What have I fuckin told you Daz?! Come 'ere! I'm going to bum you -er not because I'm gay or would get any pleasure out of it- I just really want to hurt you!"

[Blue Jam]

"DAZ! *cough cough* DAZ! *cough* I'VE GOT CORONAVIRUS!"

*train carriage empties*

"No way- you serious, Ledge?"

"*cough cough* NAH, COURSE I HAVEN'T- hey, where are you taking me? No, put that tazer away..."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-51457610

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

5 years... Helluva stretch

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Ace Gary and Pre-Pubes Daz plan a day out where they intend to glue a bowling green pavilion door shut, smash up fly tipped TV sets with banisters and lose their milk teeth on irn-bru chewy bars. Gonna be a good day out for the scrotes.

Daz mum says 'go steady out there'. Ace Gary gets a stiffy in her presence but doesn't know yet what that means.

[Bum Flaps]

Under cover of the storm, Gary pushes over all the sheds up at the allotments .

"Get a proper job, farmer twats!"