Author Topic: LEGEND GARY PART TWO  (Read 25992 times)

wosl

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #330 on: March 07, 2020, 08:11:27 PM »
^ Legend Gary thinks that the Oxford comma should be 'botch-gassed', like that murderer they had to have two cracks at in Arkansota.


new page absolutely played a blinder god thankyou you cunt

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #331 on: March 07, 2020, 08:20:58 PM »
Legend Gary puts a horse down 'for its own good' and it collapses onto Pubes Daz, breaking his hip.

Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #332 on: March 09, 2020, 11:02:37 AM »
Legend Gary is tricked into seeing a two hour cartoon about a snail but is unable to leave because the usher looks a bit tidy and Gary doesn't "feel like" having a scrap today.
Later, he breaks Daz's cankles while breathlessly huffing, "that was NOT a superhero movie, you arsehopper"

Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #333 on: March 09, 2020, 11:03:18 AM »
Legend Gary is kicked out of the Natural History museum for calling the allosaurus "Belmosaurus Rex".




Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #334 on: March 09, 2020, 12:44:18 PM »
Legend Gary possesses enough bog roll to last for 5 years but goes around every retail outlet clearing them out as 'the idea of everyone with wet shitty arses turns me on to be frank Pubes'

wosl

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #335 on: March 09, 2020, 01:55:58 PM »
(Removed by request)
« Last Edit: March 09, 2020, 11:58:32 PM by Barry Admin »

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #336 on: March 12, 2020, 12:14:09 AM »
Gary, Daz and the lads go to Tokyo in defiance of the "Coroner's Virus". Drunk on saki at a karaoke bar, Gary does a belting version of The Scorpions' 'Wind of Change'. He has tears in his eyes coming off the little stage. "Best night of me life Daz. Best night of me life."

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #337 on: March 12, 2020, 05:40:47 PM »
Legend Gary ''self isolating'' with a bag of cum, tweets '2 days worth, off for cigs in a bit'

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #338 on: March 12, 2020, 10:03:45 PM »
"Its quiet out there," says Gary.

"Too quiet," adds Daz.

"Its all Corona Beers Virus' fault, Daz."

Daz does not bother replying to this statement.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #339 on: March 12, 2020, 10:14:33 PM »
Legend Gary announces he is 'fully fireguarded from the loo roll situation'. He has been wiping his arse on socks

Try it, he urges. Socks.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #340 on: March 12, 2020, 10:15:55 PM »
"Daz is it alright to use bleach as hand sanitizer? Daz? Daz?"

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #341 on: March 16, 2020, 11:00:36 PM »
Legend Gary asks if you can uneat a monkey

Yahoo answers: 'yes yue can' 1 day ago S_Terry_81

Kryton

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #342 on: March 17, 2020, 12:53:26 AM »
Gets a bit of a sweat on, bit of a cough but goes to a foam party.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #343 on: March 19, 2020, 01:25:51 PM »
"Did you enjoy your walk Gary?"

"'Walk'? Nah Daz, been down the pub socializing and rubbing my dirty hands on everyone!"

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #344 on: March 19, 2020, 03:24:14 PM »
Legend Gary's core body temperature is described as 'abnormal, but as per usual'.

He grins. Cheers Doc

*spits in palm*

Shake on it

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #345 on: March 19, 2020, 03:41:11 PM »
Gary covers Daz in soap.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #346 on: March 20, 2020, 04:14:09 AM »
"Hello Gary, is Daz there?"

"Yes, Mrs. Daz."

"Would you please tell him to come home as his dinner is ready?"

"I will get him now, Mrs. Daz. He just done gone go to the kitchen to get heself some Wagon Wheels."

"Eh?!"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #347 on: March 22, 2020, 01:58:42 PM »
"Gary, the local Spar staff are donning face masks and delivering free hygiene products to people who can't get out, isn't that nice? You're not even listening, are you?"

"Come on Daz, let's go to 'Spoons! At least they have the balls to stay open!"

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #348 on: March 25, 2020, 10:27:39 AM »
Gary posts on Facebook "Haven't had one off the wrist for a couple of days! COCKDOWN"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #349 on: March 25, 2020, 01:23:08 PM »
"This lockdown ain't too bad, Gary... at least we can sit on the couch all day, eat Pringles, drink Stella and play FIFA!"

"What of it?"

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #350 on: March 25, 2020, 02:52:34 PM »
Legend Gary lasts about an hour at home, largely making dinner (hoops and sausages) before deciding to scar the Internet and those on it.

A series of troll accounts prove particularly successful.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #351 on: March 25, 2020, 05:31:40 PM »
PUBES DAZ: "Gary, I'm afraid my mother passed away last night due to the coronavirus.

LEGEND GARY: HAHAHAHA!

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #352 on: March 29, 2020, 01:43:24 PM »
Trackie Tez (famous not for sportswear but for the biro used in his emergency tracheostomy) is fed vodka by Legend Gary 'down the penhole you fucking cunt'.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #353 on: March 31, 2020, 05:48:25 PM »
What's your favourite type of duck, Gary?

.... White British

Paul Calf

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #354 on: Yesterday at 07:26:03 AM »
“...Hungary though, Gary.”

“Nice uniforms though, Daz. You can’t deny that.”

“Boss, Gaz,” confirms Daz.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #355 on: Yesterday at 03:23:16 PM »
"How's that can of Stella Gary?"

"It has a fruity bouquet with a hint of hops that linger long on the palette, Daz. Think it's a '19 or  20. '19 I reckon actually. A good year."

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #356 on: Today at 06:16:55 AM »
"Gary will you stop sleeping on top of me please?"

"Snoooore."

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