LEGEND GARY PART TWO

[Kryton]

LEGEND GARY STEALS A PLANE

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary filmed by police humping a mechanical horse ride in a supermarket.

'Lob in a quid Daz go on ahahahahaha'

He has his bag of essentials (3 x Long rizla, baccy, bog roll 36 x lagers) so if there are questions all sorted.

[Glebe]

"Gonna eat out today, Daz!"

"Nah Gary stay in."

"Alright. I'll get a load of goodies from Tesco and we'll have a FIFA '20 day!"

"Just don't spend long in the supermarket Gary."

"Ah fuck Daz, you're ruining it now."

[Blue Jam]

[Glebe]

Meat Injection.

Meat Injection.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Miss them all

Steak Terry, Tumour Chris, Psycho Vin, Merlot Pat, Mumps Olly, Mental Martin, Corfu Nige, Lord Barry, San Miguel Clegg, Burnt Gav, Brown Colin, Smelly Keith, Fat Gary (the Fat Ronaldo to Legend Gary's Ronaldo), Gropist Trev, Captain Rohyp, Nova Will, Chip Spice, Puddle, Refund Pob, Incest Karl, Welsh Alan, Lard Man Dave, No Fucks Gavin (these days just called No Fucks), Palliative Care Chas, Gashback Graeme, Precum Jez, Embol Stu, Issues Derek, Bulmers Ned, Ladbrokes Ross, 3-Course Neil (usually just called 3-Course), Herpes Stan, Rizla Pete, Clarkson, Paedo Phil, Cunt Kev, Manflu, Golf Aaron, Inhaler Traff, Mouldsworth, Brew On, GBH, Scales, Mosul Boz, Dogs Mike, Five Taps, Handjob Bob, Borderline Nonce Si, Poo Particles Geoff

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary breaks lockdown to get an NHS tattoo from Veal Valerie, before ending up in A&E when it goes septic.

[petril]

Miss them all

Steak Terry, Tumour Chris, Psycho Vin, Merlot Pat, Mumps Olly, Mental Martin, Corfu Nige, Lord Barry, San Miguel Clegg, Burnt Gav, Brown Colin, Smelly Keith, Fat Gary (the Fat Ronaldo to Legend Gary's Ronaldo), Gropist Trev, Captain Rohyp, Nova Will, Chip Spice, Puddle, Refund Pob, Incest Karl, Welsh Alan, Lard Man Dave, No Fucks Gavin (these days just called No Fucks), Palliative Care Chas, Gashback Graeme, Precum Jez, Embol Stu, Issues Derek, Bulmers Ned, Ladbrokes Ross, 3-Course Neil (usually just called 3-Course), Herpes Stan, Rizla Pete, Clarkson, Paedo Phil, Cunt Kev, Manflu, Golf Aaron, Inhaler Traff, Mouldsworth, Brew On, GBH, Scales, Mosul Boz, Dogs Mike, Five Taps, Handjob Bob, Borderline Nonce Si, Poo Particles Geoff

you missed Kev Fags

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A goose hisses at Legend Gary, who finds himself taken aback by how it seemingly knew the most exquisitely vulnerable moment to strike.

'Cunt goose lol'
'Hahaha what's it doing on the path, fuk off into the river'
'Canal'
'Yeah same difference'

[Sebastian Cobb]

Reminds me of the sort of dickheads who used to phone up Dave 'I wear a hat to hide my knob' Pearce to tell him that gary, chicken and wozza are on their way back from Gatecrasher and still HAVIN IT LARGE in Daventry services.

[king_tubby]

Legend Gary uses the last few sheets of Pubes' carefully hoarded toilet roll the same way has has used every other sheet.

Mopping up ejaculate.

'Good job yer curtains are already brown, Pubesy!'

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary lays into a codger who has taken seat on the park's 2007-consecrated Help For Heroes bench.

'OI, seat there is for heroes'

'Are you fucking deaf grandad'

Pubes Daz approaches with a 2l bottle of Vimto to remedy the situation.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary posts himself to Daz in a particularly daft attempt to breach lockdown rules without being found out. Ends up at the wrong address and spends the next few weeks staying with a family of four in Blackpool.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary gets 'the basics', 'standard groceries', 'essentials', Deliveroo'd from Venezia Pizza

PROTECT ESSENTIAL WORKERS he selfies while giving the delivery man a banter headlock

[king_tubby]

Nah, I can't suspend the disbelief any further, Shoulders. No-one has ever ordered food from Venezia Pizza. You go in there, ask for a kebab, they look at you like you're a madman.

[king_tubby]

Gary, what the fuck? Get off me! Get off it!

Sorry Daz, muscle memory, hit the wrong crotch, too many bongs.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Gary, what the fuck? Get off me! Get off it!

Sorry Daz, muscle memory, hit the wrong crotch, too many bongs.

lololololol

[Blue Jam]

Legend Gary gets a bit peckish:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-52532267

"Fuck's sake Ledge, Sheila's gonna kill me. Bang goes her birthday weekend in Paris."
"Well worth it Daz, well worth it."

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary commissions the creation of a face mask with "Legend Gary" on it for £100.

Legend Gary ends up in A&E after trying to set fireworks off during the NHS clap.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary reminisces on that time he abused Justin Fashanu.

"Hehe... that were a while back. Wonder what happened to the cunt"

[idunnosomename]

Legend Gary gets a bit peckish:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-52532267

"Fuck's sake Ledge, Sheila's gonna kill me. Bang goes her birthday weekend in Paris."
"Well worth it Daz, well worth it."

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary opines that a cure for malaria is 'a bit gay'.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary spends the week learning "They'll Always Be An England" ahead of Friday's VE Day WhatsApp party. On Wednesday he goes from shop to shop trying to find scones, jam and cream, ignoring the increased risk this presents to the general public.

"Boris is our Churchill and Covid-19 is our Hitler, Daz"

[spaghetamine]

Shortly after departing on a lengthy ocean voyage, Legend Gary shoots and kills an albatross with a cross-bow, much to the annoyance of his crew.

[jenna appleseed]

Legend Gary pretended his severe hangover comedown was the covids so he could sneak a selfie with are brave Boris. He's now spending every Thursday booing the NHS (while nobody's looking - not even Daz) and wondering if suing them for the trauma of accidentally being stuck on a genuine ventilator would look anti-Tory, unlegendary, & bad in the current climate.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary walks around shouting for Coronavirus to "come out and fight me like a man" after his second can of beer, before falling asleep on a traffic island.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Pubes Daz pretends to be Gary's carer to bypass lockdown rules.

'Can we switch?'
'.... No'

[petril]

Legend Gary walks around shouting for Coronavirus to "come out and fight me like a man" after his second can of beer, before falling asleep on a traffic island.

Coronavirus mocks an unconscious Gary by flashing the medals it won in Flanders in his unresponsive face

[jenna appleseed]

Daz, how come we still have to pay taxes for the NHS if it it's fully powered by an old man going round and round his garden like a teddy bear and clapping ?

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary releases the latest of his "Gary On" videos. This time Gary talks while on cocaine.