LEGEND GARY PART TWO

[Glebe]

Gary attempts to paint the St. George on the glass front of his local Aldi. A security guard stops him before he's even painted a lower corner white.

"Listen mate, you of all people ain't got no right to stop me doing this! Go back where y'came from Jameel or whotevah y'name is!"

[petril]

Legend Gary reads the new Legend Gary strip in Viz, about a Legend Gary type, and entirely consisting of events that actually involved Legend Gary.

Legend Gary knows the strip is about all these other people you get, not him

[Glebe]

"Happy Halloween, Daz!"

"ARGGGHH!!! OH FUCK OH FUCK!"

"Relax Daz, your dog's not really dead it's just a prank! Ketchup, mate! Whoops this hasn't gone to plan."

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

After accepting an invitation to supersize his meal Gary points out that 'You didn't say anything about needing to pay for this upgrade'. After the complaint escalates he is thrown out and blacklisted.

'The PC brigade even taken over McD' s' he tweets

[Glebe]

"ENGLAND FOREVER! ENGLAND FOREVER! ENGLAND FOREVER!"

"Excuse me young man, you've bought your kebab, now will you please leave the takeaway before we call the cops."

[wosl]

Legend Gary finds out if fish enjoy swimming in Tennent's Super.

[Glebe]

Legend Gary finds out if fish enjoy swimming in Tennent's Super.

One of them does and he calls him Gary the Fish and puts him in his 'Stella Aquarium'. "You've moved up in the world, mate!"

[wosl]

Legend Gary is about to christen his showpiece The Ledgequarium, but he falls asleep instead

[Glebe]

Gary sets his boombox up in the local precinct and performs what he calls "The Superspreader Rap".

[Glebe]

GARY'S FAVOURTIES.

Favourite food: Wagon Wheels.

Favourite drink: Stella (obviously).

Favourite film: The Lincoln Lawyer.

Favourite band: Oasis.

Favourite person: Nigel Farage.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Favourite other Gary: Gary Barlow

Least favourite other Gary: Gary Lineaker

Favourite TV programme:Eastenders

Favourite historical figure: Winston Churchill

Favourite underpants: Green boxers with semen stain that won't wash out.

Favourite book: Gary Barlow's Autobiography

Favourite socks: the Brexit Party ones that he always wears when shagging, barely used.

Favourite forum: ARRSE forum

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary and mates have a roundup of their latest knowledge of T-Cells post-Covid infection.

Steak Terry gets a glass through his face after politely suggesting widespread cell-mediated immunity without an antibody response.

[Glebe]

Gary attempts to use the plastic can binder from a six pack of Stella as a face mask.

[wosl]

After making a rash bet, Legend Gary has to keep altering the Full Name entry on Gerd Müller's wiki to 'Gary Müller'.

[Glebe]

"Daz, do you like shitting?"

"No, Gary."

Gary starts crying.

[Glebe]

Gary skins Daz's face off and uses it as a hideous mask a la Leatherface.

"Alright Darren, how're you dong? Oh, you're supposed to be wearing a mask btw, mate."

"I am, Mr. Pate, it ain't Daz. Six pack of Stella, mate. Six pack of Stella."

[wosl]

As a tribute to John Sessions, Legend Gary feeds his cat Boost Bars all day.

[dex]

"Daz, mate?"

"Yes, Gary?"

"Have you ever made love, to a man?"

Daz doesn't know where to look or what to say to this one.

"Do you want to?"

[Glebe]

"Daz, mate?"

"Yes, Gary?"

"Have you ever made love, to a man?"

Daz doesn't know where to look or what to say to this one.

"Do you want to?"

"Yes Gary, but not with you as you are spud ugly."

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

After making a rash bet, Legend Gary has to keep altering the Full Name entry on Gerd Müller's wiki to 'Gary Müller'.

Laughed

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary gets a Trump 2020 tattoo on his left arm. Shows it off to people in the pub and ends up getting punched by an angry American. Daz has to separate them.

[Glebe]

Gary tells a Big Issue seller to "get a job and a life, mate."

[Glebe]

Gary lights a big bonfire on the heath and sacrifices Daz on it. "Just like that Wicken Man film Daz, 'The bees, the bees!'"

[jenna appleseed]

Daz catches Gary wanking over a Sonic the Hedgehog poster.

This version of Sonic The Hedgehog

[Glebe]

"Look Daz, everyone has a fetish. Mine is the most disturbing distortion of Sonic you can think of, deal with it."

[Glebe]

"It's a sad day for America, Daz. The greatest president ever is on the way out. Sad day."

[wosl]

As a gesture of sympathy, Legend Gary decides to drink Stella out of a black Space Raiders mug for the remainder of the evening.

[Glebe]

As a gesture of sympathy, Legend Gary decides to drink Stella out of a black Space Raiders mug for the remainder of the evening.

"It's the least I can do. The least I can do."

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary draws a 4 on the "0" of his Trump 2020 flag and hangs it above his bed. He'll run again, he tells himself. He'll run again.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Steak Terry has his nickname changed to 'T Cell', ''until this all blows over''.