LEGEND GARY PART TWO

[kryton2.0]

Gaz loses his shoe.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary puts his job as "Total Legend" on the census, and describes it as "Constituently excellent banter, great pranks and the biggest legend anyone has ever met".

Also puts he commutes to work by robot.

[phes]

Gary slaps down a No Win, No Fee damages claim against his own penis to the tune of one shredded pair of armanis

[Glebe]

"Daz, how do I get a Disney app? I want to watch Falcon and Soldier."

[Glebe]

Gary declares the pandemic "over," and goes to Marbella to celebrate.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary's parents demand to know why he has painted Union Jacks on all the sheets on the washing line.

Gary will only wear a mask if it has "Trump 2024" on it.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A campaign is started to FREE LEGEND GARY, and it even gets in the papers, to FREE Gary from a future imprisonment that he calculates will probably occur due to his Q2 AND Q3 plans.

[jenna appleseed]

Gary angrily denounces Sara Cox after hearing her call "that cunting bird in a nappy" ORVILLE LEGEND LEGEND ORVILLE[nb]this actually happened, I heard her say that on Radio 2 with my own ears (eta: just the bit in bold fortunatly)[/nb].

[Glebe]

Gary reacts when Daz passes him in the hallway of their flat.

"TWO METRES, DAZ! TWO METRES!"

"I thought you were a pandemic-denier, Gary!"

"Any excuse to be aggressive toward you, Daz! TWO METRES!"

[jenna appleseed]

No Gary, it's Captain TWO LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITAR not TWO METER.

[wosl]

Legend Gary is just about to set a new lap record at Monza on Daz's bike, when an old cunt steps into the chicane on the pavement outside Londis.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary plans to mark April 12th with 'the biggest fart you've ever seen'

[Fambo Number Mive]

Legend Gary starts a campaign to call BST "Brexit Summer Time".

Legend Gary updates his Facebook status to inform people he is still waiting for his latest sex arse. "Probably stuck in the fucking Suez Canel, eh lads?"

[El Unicornio, mang]

Gary seen exiting a Tesco Express at 11am on Sunday with a crate of Peroni in each hand, wearing the Panda onesie, oversized Ray Berrys, Hello Kitty face mask and rabbit slippers of the bird whose gaff he woke up in. Fucking LEGEND.

[Blue Jam]

Legend Gary plans to mark April 12th with 'the biggest fart you've ever seen'

Legend Gary's farts are so potent they actually are visible. They are visible from space.

[king_tubby]

Legend Gary's booked going to Twycross Zoo at 10am on April 12th so he can be the first person for 6 months to call the elephant a 'trunky cunt'.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Legend Gary has attended unconscious bias training, in the sense that for the most part, he was unconscious during the bias training session.

[Glebe]

Gary ambles up and down the high street asking Muslim folk if they are Chinese.

[Glebe]

Gary is headhunted by Goldman Sachs and offered an executive position in New York.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Gary cooks a steak pie in Fanta.

[Glebe]

"Off to Marbella for two weeks Daz, see you soon!"

"But Gary, the pandemic!"

"Ah mate it's over fuck it."

[seepage]

Gary is headhunted by Goldman Sachs and offered an executive position in New York.

"Daz, how many hours a day is 90 hours a week?"

[Bum Flaps]

Gary frisbees a still burning disposable bbq into the ornamental border

[Glebe]

Daz rings Gary.

"Gary, where are you?!"

"I'm in Alicante, Daz. Oh yeah supposed to go to that covid test today, whoops."

[Fambo Number Mive]

Despite being a Tory, Gary has a Michael Foot fetish.

[Glebe]

"When is the China plague over, Daz?"

"Patience, Gary."

[Glebe]

"Daz, I'm gonna become a nihilist!"

"So what Gary, I do not care."

Gary begins to cry.

[Glebe]

Daz has a breakdown and is put into psychiatric care. Gary goes to visit him.

"Man up, mate. Man up."

[Glebe]

Gary screams at a bus driver.

[Bum Flaps]

"Gary, where's my front hedge gone?" says Daz when he gets back from the offy.

"You know I'm not going to answer that" says Gary without looking away from MOTD2