Author Topic: LEGEND GARY PART TWO (Read 60005 times)

kryton2.0 · « **Reply #870 on:** March 20, 2021, 10:57:40 PM »

Gaz loses his shoe.

Fambo Number Mive · « **Reply #871 on:** March 23, 2021, 01:11:44 PM »

Legend Gary puts his job as "Total Legend" on the census, and describes it as "Constituently excellent banter, great pranks and the biggest legend anyone has ever met".

Also puts he commutes to work by robot.

phes · « **Reply #872 on:** March 24, 2021, 02:03:53 AM »

Gary slaps down a No Win, No Fee damages claim against his own penis to the tune of one shredded pair of armanis

Glebe · « **Reply #873 on:** March 24, 2021, 04:06:38 AM »

"Daz, how do I get a Disney app? I want to watch Falcon and Soldier."

Glebe · « **Reply #874 on:** March 24, 2021, 08:45:31 PM »

Gary declares the pandemic "over," and goes to Marbella to celebrate.

Fambo Number Mive · « **Reply #875 on:** March 24, 2021, 09:03:07 PM »

Gary's parents demand to know why he has painted Union Jacks on all the sheets on the washing line.

Gary will only wear a mask if it has "Trump 2024" on it.

Shoulders?-Stomach! · « **Reply #876 on:** March 25, 2021, 12:48:55 PM »

A campaign is started to FREE LEGEND GARY, and it even gets in the papers, to FREE Gary from a future imprisonment that he calculates will probably occur due to his Q2 AND Q3 plans.

jenna appleseed · « **Reply #877 on:** March 25, 2021, 05:46:36 PM »

Gary angrily denounces Sara Cox after hearing her call "that cunting bird in a nappy" ORVILLE LEGEND LEGEND ORVILLE[1].

1.	this actually happened, I heard her say that on Radio 2 with my own ears (eta: just the bit in bold fortunatly)

Glebe · « **Reply #878 on:** March 25, 2021, 06:16:52 PM »

Gary reacts when Daz passes him in the hallway of their flat.

"TWO METRES, DAZ! TWO METRES!"

"I thought you were a pandemic-denier, Gary!"

"Any excuse to be aggressive toward you, Daz! TWO METRES!"

jenna appleseed · « **Reply #879 on:** March 26, 2021, 01:27:44 AM »

No Gary, it's Captain TWO LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITAR not TWO METER.

wosl · « **Reply #880 on:** March 26, 2021, 02:54:58 PM »

Legend Gary is just about to set a new lap record at Monza on Daz's bike, when an old cunt steps into the chicane on the pavement outside Londis.

Shoulders?-Stomach! · « **Reply #881 on:** March 29, 2021, 02:06:58 PM »

Legend Gary plans to mark April 12th with 'the biggest fart you've ever seen'

Fambo Number Mive · « **Reply #882 on:** March 29, 2021, 02:11:13 PM »

Legend Gary starts a campaign to call BST "Brexit Summer Time".

Legend Gary updates his Facebook status to inform people he is still waiting for his latest sex arse. "Probably stuck in the fucking Suez Canel, eh lads?"

El Unicornio, mang · « **Reply #883 on:** March 29, 2021, 03:15:51 PM »

Gary seen exiting a Tesco Express at 11am on Sunday with a crate of Peroni in each hand, wearing the Panda onesie, oversized Ray Berrys, Hello Kitty face mask and rabbit slippers of the bird whose gaff he woke up in. Fucking LEGEND.

Blue Jam · « **Reply #884 on:** March 29, 2021, 10:20:28 PM »

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on March 29, 2021, 02:06:58 PM

Legend Gary plans to mark April 12th with 'the biggest fart you've ever seen'

Legend Gary's farts are so potent they actually are visible. They are visible from space.

king_tubby · « **Reply #885 on:** March 29, 2021, 10:34:11 PM »

Legend Gary's booked going to Twycross Zoo at 10am on April 12th so he can be the first person for 6 months to call the elephant a 'trunky cunt'.

Shoulders?-Stomach! · « **Reply #886 on:** April 01, 2021, 07:09:35 PM »

Legend Gary has attended unconscious bias training, in the sense that for the most part, he was unconscious during the bias training session.

Glebe · « **Reply #887 on:** April 01, 2021, 07:20:20 PM »

Gary ambles up and down the high street asking Muslim folk if they are Chinese.

Glebe · « **Reply #888 on:** April 02, 2021, 01:02:50 PM »

Gary is headhunted by Goldman Sachs and offered an executive position in New York.

Fambo Number Mive · « **Reply #889 on:** April 02, 2021, 01:14:05 PM »

Gary cooks a steak pie in Fanta.

Glebe · « **Reply #890 on:** April 02, 2021, 01:40:24 PM »

"Off to Marbella for two weeks Daz, see you soon!"

"But Gary, the pandemic!"

"Ah mate it's over fuck it."

seepage · « **Reply #891 on:** April 02, 2021, 05:32:03 PM »

Quote from: Glebe on April 02, 2021, 01:02:50 PM

Gary is headhunted by Goldman Sachs and offered an executive position in New York.

"Daz, how many hours a day is 90 hours a week?"

Bum Flaps · « **Reply #892 on:** April 02, 2021, 10:47:15 PM »

Gary frisbees a still burning disposable bbq into the ornamental border

Glebe · « **Reply #893 on:** April 02, 2021, 11:17:14 PM »

Daz rings Gary.

"Gary, where are you?!"

"I'm in Alicante, Daz. Oh yeah supposed to go to that covid test today, whoops."

Fambo Number Mive · « **Reply #894 on:** April 04, 2021, 06:20:37 PM »

Despite being a Tory, Gary has a Michael Foot fetish.

Glebe · « **Reply #895 on:** April 05, 2021, 12:54:36 AM »

"When is the China plague over, Daz?"

"Patience, Gary."

Glebe · « **Reply #896 on:** April 05, 2021, 04:03:40 PM »

"Daz, I'm gonna become a nihilist!"

"So what Gary, I do not care."

Gary begins to cry.

Glebe · « **Reply #897 on:** April 06, 2021, 12:54:43 PM »

Daz has a breakdown and is put into psychiatric care. Gary goes to visit him.

"Man up, mate. Man up."

Glebe · « **Reply #898 on:** April 08, 2021, 12:14:20 AM »

Gary screams at a bus driver.

Bum Flaps · « **Reply #899 on:** April 08, 2021, 01:15:13 AM »

"Gary, where's my front hedge gone?" says Daz when he gets back from the offy.

"You know I'm not going to answer that" says Gary without looking away from MOTD2

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Author Topic: LEGEND GARY PART TWO (Read 60005 times)