Author Topic: LEGEND GARY PART TWO  (Read 62255 times)

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #930 on: April 23, 2021, 02:33:13 PM »
Gary compiles a list entitled 'Best of British'. An here it is:

Jim Davidson
Littlejohn
Poundstretcher
The traditional Sunday Roast (here here!)
Frank Bruno (see, I am not a racist Daz)
Our Brave Boys still over in Iraq fighting the ragheads

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #931 on: April 23, 2021, 02:44:57 PM »
Gets banned from teaching for being a fucking LEDGE
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-56858188

Fr.Bigley

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #932 on: April 23, 2021, 03:17:09 PM »
Gets banned from teaching for being a fucking LEDGE
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-56858188


Ironically, Gross Ms. Conduct was the name of the stripper.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #933 on: April 24, 2021, 06:10:24 AM »
Gary puts on loads of weight and starts to look "truly gammon," as Daz tells his secret boyfriend during a clandestine phone call.

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #934 on: April 24, 2021, 01:09:33 PM »
Legend Gary has a hilarious thing going where he buys a coffee and due to the barista being "of a nationality", he will ask for a coffee "With the skin on", confusing them and causing a succession of back-and-forths until Legend Gary, having been served a near identical coffee will then saying "Ah, perfect, with the skin on, nailed it. Thanks sweetheart."

They suspect he's up to something though.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #935 on: April 24, 2021, 01:21:22 PM »
Legend Gary warns the pub if anyone woke turns off Apeman by the Kinks they will be shot dead.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #936 on: April 24, 2021, 07:38:37 PM »
Gary's dream is to pick a fight with a UFC fighter in a car park and "beat him to shite in front of all there present, I'm fucking the hardest of the hard me Daz, watch it!"

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #937 on: April 24, 2021, 08:10:05 PM »
Legend Gary enjoys Bus Stop Parkour

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #938 on: April 25, 2021, 05:43:24 PM »
Legend Gary puts some more White Rose stickers up at the bus stop before writing Open The Pubes in magic marker.

"Force of habit, Terry "

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #939 on: April 25, 2021, 07:49:15 PM »
Gary steals a bulldozer and breaks into the pub. "Taps are empty ffs, Daz! Bloody lockdown!"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #940 on: April 26, 2021, 06:31:18 AM »
Gary organises a cage fight in the back garden.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #941 on: April 26, 2021, 05:12:27 PM »
In need of an afternoon nap, Gary gets Daz to send him to sleep with a beautiful rendition of 'Five Little Ducks'.

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #942 on: April 26, 2021, 05:33:15 PM »
Gary has a pint with Keith Starmer. "Still too woke for me, Daz" he confides later.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #943 on: April 26, 2021, 05:35:58 PM »
Gary has a pint with Keith Starmer. "Still too woke for me, Daz" he confides later.

Meets Farage in a lockdown-defying watering hole the next day. "He put his pint on his head and everything Daz, my life is complete!"

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #944 on: April 26, 2021, 05:42:40 PM »
The lads club together to pay Farage to record a follow up message for Gary, which he plays once a day for the next seven years.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #945 on: April 27, 2021, 07:18:40 PM »
"Daz, I'm doing a 'tackle-out' calendar for charity!"

"Nice Gary, which charity will benefit from your rude behaviour?"

"Well I was gonna go with Our Brave Boys but I think I'll do it for some anti-masker group."

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #946 on: April 28, 2021, 06:05:05 PM »
"I'm ordering from the Chinese, fancy something Daz?"

"No thanks Gary, you should know by now I don't like Chinese."

"And you say I'm racist, Daz!"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #947 on: April 29, 2021, 06:32:56 PM »
Gary never takes his nephew out in case he is mistaken for a peedo. "Hanging'd be too good for me, Daz!"

Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #948 on: April 30, 2021, 04:25:46 PM »
Gary instead spent the afternoon with his nephew watching "the NCU" - the Nativity Cinematic Universe. Clunesy was Gary's favourite.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #949 on: April 30, 2021, 05:59:36 PM »
"Daz, you're such a woke!"

"Do you even know what you're saying Gary?"

"Um no actually."

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #950 on: April 30, 2021, 06:09:49 PM »
Gary replaces Daz's Facebook profile picture with one of a famous nonce. "Teach him to leave his phone unlocked around me."

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #951 on: April 30, 2021, 06:11:47 PM »
Legend Gary bullies local character Dogdon, but is filmed, it goes viral, and a gang of local Nonce Hunters find out his address, where he is delivered summary justice.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #952 on: April 30, 2021, 06:13:03 PM »
Gary makes his own The Chase show in the hall, with Big Tommy as The Beast, sitting at the top of the stairs. "Here we go Daz, I wish you luck."

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #953 on: April 30, 2021, 10:57:47 PM »
"Was talking to Muslim Jim today, Daz. Nice bloke. They're not all alike."

PROGRESS.

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #954 on: May 01, 2021, 10:19:43 AM »
"In the name of St. George, I command all immigrants to go back where they came from! Hear ye! Hear ye!"

"Can we go home now, Gary? It's getting cold."

"Yeah Daz, megaphone's batteries are running low and the heath is fairly quite today anyway."

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #955 on: May 01, 2021, 05:15:14 PM »
Gary organises the first proper meet-up with the lads in a long time at he and Daz's flat. PlayStation, lots of joints, Wagon Wheels.

"What are you looking so glum about, Daz? We're all keeping our distance and using hand gel!"

"There's just a lot of toxic masculinity going on in the room, Gary. Lot of toxic masculinity."

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #956 on: May 02, 2021, 09:33:30 PM »
Gary describes the lockdown as "our Dunkirk. We shall fight the lockdown on the beaches, Daz, etc."

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #957 on: May 04, 2021, 01:06:58 PM »
"Meeting the lads for a big session with a load of cans in the park, Daz. You coming?"

"NO Gary. Fuck's sake it's risky!"

"You've got covid on the brain, Daz! Get a life!"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #958 on: May 04, 2021, 09:40:00 PM »
Daz is dressed up in his St. George chain mail outfit and is on the heath again with his megaphone.

"AH TELL THEE, WE SHALL BEAT THIS COVID AND ITS PC MASKER HOARD! BEGONE FROM ANGLIA, FOUL CHINESE PLAGUE!"

Glebe

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Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #959 on: May 06, 2021, 08:21:29 PM »
Gary destroys Daz with a bicycle clip.

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