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March 28, 2024, 09:25:27 AM

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LEGEND GARY PART TWO

Started by Fambo Number Mive, August 28, 2019, 08:17:01 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Glebe

Daz joins the ALF and poisons Gary's steaks. Gary survives, but Daz goes on to murder a load of other people for mistreating various budgerigars and the like. He becomes known as The Vegan Killer, thanks to a C5 documentary of the same title showing police interviews with the beast who serial killed 17 people in an animal-lover rage. "For once you're the bad guy, Daz!" smiles Gary to himself before turning over to Piers Morgan's Pregnant Teens Who Will Kill Again.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary has a sauna, yes, it's a box room where the radiator is kept on at full blast at all times. He has a wooden pallette that he will 'get around to sanding and varnishing'.

king_tubby

A 48% swing from Labour to the LEGEND FUCKING GARY PARTY in the Normanton and Featherstone ward of Wakefield Council means there's going to be a massive reduction in library opening hours but a fucking HUGE increase in ENORMOUS FUCKING BONFIRES.

Captain Poodle Basher

Gary phones the local radio "Have Your Say" programme to declare that being able to pick his nose and scratch his balls at the same time proves that men can multi-task.

"I'm telling you Daz, they said I can be one of their regular contributors as long as I don't fucking swear."

Fambo Number Mive

Gary rejects Keith Starmer's offer of a role as his advisor on banter. "Sorry Keith, won't do anything that harms my boy Bojo"

wosl

In response to being given the latest on the Icelandic volcano, Legend Gary attempts to halt the flow of Daz' head vent using an explosive ejection of Big Mac agglomerate suspended in a matrix of vigorously agitated Stella.

Glebe

"With restrictions eased and the weather improving, d'fancy making a day of it, Gary!"

"Nah, Daz. OnlyFans."

Glebe

"Daz, we got a shout out on that weird comedy programme you like!"

Glebe

"Gary! Where have you been for the past two weeks? You're sunburned!"

"Trip to the Seychelles, Daz! Mad beach parties every night... covids gone now, it's great!"

dex

Pubes Daz sighs as he tries cleaning the scrawl in magic marker on his bathroom wall:

"Some pepole cum ere to shit + grunt, while others come ere to fink of CUNT"

Gary considers himself a modern day poet philosipher while Daz laments the last woman who visited the house was in 1998.

Glebe

Gary accuses Daz of "only pretending to be working-class."

king_tubby

Steak Terry goes goth. Legend Gary stakes Terry.

Glebe

Daz discovers Gary in floods of tears.

"What's wrong, Gary?"

"Sniff... it's immigrants, Daz... they won't stop coming over... stop them coming over, Daz... stop them!"

Glebe

Daz works out Gary's password for everything online. Its 'quavers'.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Nasty Indian variant going around now eh Daz, quelle surprise

Glebe

"I'll Tell you what Daz, I hope they catch the Chinaman what brung covid into Great Britain. Lock 'im up and throw away the key, I say. Now, fancy a pint?"

Fambo Number Mive

Gary is bested by James O'Brien once again, but he will still keep phoning in with his bigoted opinions.

Glebe

Gary scrawls graffiti on his own bathroom wall, 'gammon is lovely'.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Glebe on May 14, 2021, 11:52:17 PM
Gary scrawls graffiti on his own bathroom wall, 'gammon is lovely'.

Laughed, v good

Glebe

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on May 15, 2021, 09:53:44 AM
Laughed, v good

Heh, thanks Shoulders!

"I tell you, only the strongest will survive, Daz! Once you rile he Great British bulldog, the will not rest until every foreigner is vanquished from our land!"

Glebe

Gary slathers Daz in antibacterial gel and slides him around the kitchen.

Glebe

Gary locks Daz in the fridge, in order to "protect him from covids".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary daydreams about the haze pranks he could do to Drummer Lee Rigby if he were still here with us today not taken from us by the angry blacks of BML

Fambo Number Mive

Gary puts a pasty in a postbox.

king_tubby

Legend Gary throws down the latest Daily Express 'royal pullout' in disgust. 'Fetch me the black cap, Daz, the Kappa one with the egg stain. I have to strike Harry from the roll of Legends. He's turned in to a cuck snowflake. No more the Nazi fancy dress. No more the casual racism. No more the drugs and booze. No more blowing up Afghani weddings. He is no more fit to bear the Legend name.'

Glebe

Gary watches an old clip of Harry saying "raghead" and cries with nostalgia.

Glebe

Gary reacts with a LOL emoji to any mental health charity posts he sees on FB.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary imprisons Daz in a phone box for breaking the official Prince Phillip period of mourning. He is released after agreeing 'to start from scratch'.

Glebe

Daz tells Gary that the Tunnock's boy had died. Gary is so upset that Daz has to reassure him that it was only a prank. He decides not to reveal that the Tunnock's boy is just a logo anyway.

jenna appleseed

Sorry Gary, the Tunnock's 'Boy' is your god now and you must worship him or be horrible smited.
https://artrepublic.com/products/little-fish-design-tunnock-the-terrible-2020