Patching songs

[madhair60]

Taylor Swift has recently "patched" her song "ME!" in order to remove a fucking annoying, shit bit where she yells HEY KIDS! SPELLING IS FUN!!!

It got me thinking what songs you would patch, if you could remove small bits of existing songs that annoy you.

That is the thread idea. Post now please.

[popcorn]

Wish I could patch madhair 60 from these forums I'll tell you that.

Hasn't this sort of thing been going on for a long time? MJ kept tweaking Smooth Criminal, didn't he?

edit: speaking of which, I'd like to patch the entire first chorus out of Smooth Criminal, not because it's annoying but because it's too good and ought to be held back for MAXIMUM IMPACT. But I've blathered on about that before.

Always wanted to remove the horrible fake kids' voices from No More I Love Yous by Annie Lennox. What a shit bit.

[mrpupkin]

Jacko (or Sony) got rid of the horrendous spoken word intro to I Just Can't Stop Loving You when Bad was reissued, thus successfully safeguarding his legacy.

[Huxleys Babkins]

New Order's Perfect Kiss, the 7 inch single has a really horrible bit where cut the last verse but it leaves enough of the first word "when" to make this horrible "wh" noise. Get that gone, thanks.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Some years ago I remember someone making a Syd Barrett compilation where they took an hours worth of the best tracks and removed all the spoken intros & outros (the decision to leave them in was an odd one, they only serve to highlight his fragile mental state, it's almost like deliberate sabotage), as well as editing some of the flubs.

[poodlefaker]

Rap/R&B albums with the skits removed, esp. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill.

[Johnny Textface]

Some years ago I remember someone making a Syd Barrett compilation where they took an hours worth of the best tracks and removed all the spoken intros & outros (the decision to leave them in was an odd one, they only serve to highlight his fragile mental state, it's almost like deliberate sabotage), as well as editing some of the flubs.

I think that only started appearing in the recordings when Gilmour and another one took over the production of the album.

[lazyhour]

Taylor Swift's spoken bit towards the end of Shake It Off - "this sick beat" indeed. Patch.

The ascending scale riff before the chorus in Bowie's Loving The Alien. Patch.

[grassbath]

The ascending scale riff before the chorus in Bowie's Loving The Alien. Patch.

Yeah, fuck that. It feels like they couldn't come up with a better transition into the chorus, so someone said 'put a completely random number of notes in the scale so it feels more interesting.'

[sevendaughters]

that ascending bit is great, sounds like the Red Dwarf theme

[Jerzy Bondov]

that ascending bit is great, sounds like the Red Dwarf theme

Yeah that's the best bit of the song. Maybe the only good bit.

[Dead Soon]

''So you go and stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home and you cry and you want to die''. Patch. It reads like a scribbled hack parody of Morrissey lyrics, but it's right there in one of the most famous Smiths recordings. I reckon Marr turned his back to the audience whenever it was performed live.

[Johnny Textface]

I don't understand that patch.

Didn't Kanye West keep patching The Life of Pablo at the time of release? I always thought that was an interesting idea but would like to see some version control.

[Sebastian Cobb]

The kinks patched later pressings of apeman on Lola versus Powerman to replace 'fucking up my eyes' with 'fogging up my eyes' they'd have been better off removing it.

[non capisco]

They should patch the "WANK!" in Phil Collins' Sussudio so it happens on every beat.

[Twed]

They should patch Len - Steal My Sunshine into the mainframe

[H-O-W-L]

In opposition to this I hate how every modestly popular band in the UK or the US during the late seventies until the late eighties ended up releasing 90000 different single mixes and versions of their songs, especially if they sold well. The amount of differing versions of "Two Tribes" and "Rock The Casbah" baffles my fucking mind, and the 12 inch mix of "Spellbound" is a crock of shit that disgraces the song with a shittily spliced drum bridge.

Don't get me started on Blondie's repertoire and all the fucking single variants and mixes there, even as a fan of Blondie, and that shit '88 reissue of Blue Monday where they turned it into the wedding disco song it always could've been. Cunts, all!

And which is the 'right' version of Warriors of the Wasteland? Which is the 'base' canonical version that you can refer the other mixes to? I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!

[Sebastian Cobb]

Bit mad that now a popular artist like swift, whom nearly everyone will only consume via streaming services can patch a song and the previous version will cease to be accessible any more. The complete opposite of buying music in the 90's/2000's where 6 months after buying a charting album they'd fuck early adopters over by bringing out an expanded edition.

[a duncandisorderly]

there's one tiny bit in the entire recorded output of the mighty 'cooper temple clause' that I wish had been excised, & it's the awkward turnaround after the middle eight of 'amber', which might be the best ever song about getting drunk every night.

it's at 3'55 in this live(r) version.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpD7TdxlTI

[McChesney Duntz]

''So you go and stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home and you cry and you want to die''. Patch. It reads like a scribbled hack parody of Morrissey lyrics, but it's right there in one of the most famous Smiths recordings. I reckon Marr turned his back to the audience whenever it was performed live.

Be fair, "I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar" is hardly better.

[popcorn]

Be fair, "I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar" is hardly better.

The bit I like about that line is that "I am the son and the heir" could alternatively be "I am the sun and the air" until you hear the second line. I dunno if that ambiguity was deliberate.

[McChesney Duntz]

Hmm, never considered that. And, truthfully, one being the "sun and the air" - that which allows something to thrive - of one's shyness is not a terrible notion. But why would it be "vulgar," much less criminally so? I don't know; thank god, at least, that that was the worst thing he ever said, in any context.

[Chriddof]

I once read an amusing anecdote about when someone at Rough Trade (Geoff Travis?) first heard How Soon Is Now, they were horrified when they got to that bit and exclaimed something to the effect of "Oh god, he's gone full hippy - he's singing about the elements!".

[Twed]

But why would it be "vulgar," much less criminally so?

I thought the shyness was vulgar because it was self-indulgent and almost performative. That was my reading. I thought that was a good lyric. Makes me imagine somebody who hides behind their carefully-sculpted fringe.

[McChesney Duntz]

Wow. Okay, you got me. I suddenly (and sincerely) have way more respect for a line I've thought of as unforgivably clunky for three decades now. Well done. Seriously.

[kalowski]

They should patch the "WANK!" in Phil Collins' Sussudio so it happens on every beat.

"You seem to be tagging on a wank there."

[a duncandisorderly]

I once read an amusing anecdote about when someone at Rough Trade (Geoff Travis?) first heard How Soon Is Now, they were horrified when they got to that bit and exclaimed something to the effect of "Oh god, he's gone full hippy - he's singing about the elements!".

I don't think someone going hippy would've bothered GT much.... :-)

[Twed]

Wow. Okay, you got me. I suddenly (and sincerely) have way more respect for a line I've thought of as unforgivably clunky for three decades now. Well done. Seriously.

This is so enthusiastic that I'm not sure if it's sarcasm or not! (I think it isn't, so I'm happy to help!)

[McChesney Duntz]

This is so enthusiastic that I'm not sure if it's sarcasm or not! (I think it isn't, so I'm happy to help!)

I know. I rather over-egged the pudding to ensure it was taken as sincerity, and, of course, thereby risked it being taken as sarcasm. (Not to mention that it's exceedingly rare for anyone to be demonstrably changing their minds, especially on the internet.) But yes, 100% sincere. Thank you.

[lazyhour]

that ascending bit is great, sounds like the Red Dwarf theme

Fucking exactly.