Author Topic: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics  (Read 1997 times)

kalowski

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Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« on: August 28, 2019, 11:13:52 PM »
Who will ever forget the show's American tour including their special Whitehouse performance. That was the legendary occasion when Una Stubbs, her hands going like tiny steam-hammers, scored maximum points for pulling off All The President's Men in under 90 seconds!

This is run on similar lines to the TV show that put Lionel Blair where he is today...visiting his aunt in Solihull

Give Us A Clue was made all the better by its resident expert Lionel Blair, who was particularly good at the films of Richard Gere. Who can forget the gleam of satisfaction in his eye when he was given Yanks by Michael Aspel for two minutes!

The game is based on the TV show Give Us A Clue, where the teams score points by miming film titles against the clock, & who can forget that breathtaking finish when Lionel Blair came from behind and had Dirty Harry licked in under two minutes?

This is based on the erstwhile television favourite Give Us A Clue, where teams of players used to delight their audience by miming the titles of songs, films or plays against a strict time limit. The most highly skilled of all was Lionel Blair, but how the tears of frustration welled up in his eyes during their Italian tour, at not being allowed the use of his mouth to finish off Two Gentlemen Of Verona.

Give Us A Clue certainly provided many memorable moment as the players performed against a strict time limit. We particular recall one very early show when Una Stubbs scored maximum points after the teams took only a few seconds to recognise her Fanny By Gaslight.

The master of the game for many years was Lionel Blair, who's skills became finely honed over the years. On one occasion, it took him but a matter of seconds to finish off Lucky Jim using only one hand.

The original Give Us A Clue mime master was, of course, Lionel Blair, but there are many people who have never heard of Lionel as a song-and-dance man, nor the people he worked with in the sixties - Sammy David Junior, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett and Dean Martin were just four of those who never heard of him. the

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2019, 12:06:41 AM »
The experts expert on Give Us A Clue, was Lionel Blair. Who can ever forget opposing team captain Una Stubbs sitting open mouthed as he tried to pull off Twelve Angry Men in under two minutes.

The master of the genre was undoubtedly Lionel Blair, and who will ever forget him, exhausted and on his knees, finishing off An Officer And A Gentleman in under two minutes?

Sound Charades is of course based on the TV programme Give Us A Clue, in which celebrity panellists would attempt to mime the titles of books, plays, and films in the shortest possible time. Sadly, the series was finally cancelled when Michael Aspel was hospitalised during Una Stubbs' attempt to set a new record for The Four Hundred Blows.

Possibly the most versatile performer was Lionel Blair, and no one will ever forget the occasion he was given A Town Like Alice, when he chose to do a silent impression of the author. Such was the performance, Una Stubbs gasped in amazement when she saw Neville Shute in Lionel's face!

The undisputed master of the game was Lionel Blair, whose TV career has sadly waned of late. He did, however, recently audition for I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here! Lionel's challenge was to sail a raft across a river with a small crew, but sadly the raft hit a rock and sank, and what a look of horror there was on Ant's face when Lionel went down with both hands on deck.

In the original, the ever energetic Lionel Blair would mime the titles of TV shows against a strict time limit, and who can fail to remember the occasion he scored double points by using both hands in different actions to finish off One Man & His Dog in under thirty seconds!

The undisputed master of the game was Lionel Blair, who was particularly good at the Rocky series of movies. Christopher Biggins relates how Lionel visited his dressing room to hone his impression of Sylvester Stallone beating his opponent, often going down several times before knocking one out.

The undisputed experts' experts was Lionel Blair who was particularly good at Mickey Mouse cartoons. However, he occasionally had to save the day when he was let down by his team. Una Stubbs still recalls how amazed she was when Christopher Biggins failed miserably with Fantasia, and Lionel was straight in behind him with his Steam Boat Willy.


Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2019, 01:01:50 AM »
Possibly the most versatile performer was Lionel Blair, and no one will ever forget the occasion he was given A Town Like Alice, when he chose to do a silent impression of the author. Such was the performance, Una Stubbs gasped in amazement when she saw Neville Shute in Lionel's face!

Possibly the filthiest pre-watershed gag of all time.
Absolute banger.

Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2019, 07:46:44 AM »
The undisputed champion of the game was Lionel Blair. Even those fellow team members suffering from a particularly virulent form of amnesia find it very difficult to forget the time he was bummed by A Huge, Muscular Black Man.

Una Stubbs was not without her talents, howsoever. Despite various visits to highly trained hypnotists, her fellow team members are still unable to forget the time A Very Well Hung Gentleman From Amsterdam came all over her tits.

Gurke and Hare

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2019, 12:13:36 PM »
Possibly the filthiest pre-watershed gag of all time.

There was one in the pre-Film Club round bit once, that started "Samantha's had to leave us now as she's been cast in an episode of The Bill. In the episode, she gets fingered by the fuzz..." and then Humph didn't actually get the chance to finish the line. Barry: "To hear that audience reaction you'd think there was something in that!"

Bad Ambassador

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2019, 12:55:56 PM »
Possibly the filthiest pre-watershed gag of all time.
Absolute banger.

I can top it.

Quote
The teams are going to give full vent to their thespian skills now, in the game called Sound Charades. This is based on the erstwhile TV favourite Give Us A Clue, where celebrities mimed the titles of songs, books or films. The undisputed grand master of the game was Lionel Blair, but following the show's demise, it seems his fortunes may be at a low ebb. Christopher Biggins was saying recently how he met him in the street, and Lionel asked if he could bum him for a fiver.

Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2019, 01:36:57 PM »
I'd say that a bumming gag is less filthy than one about spunking in someone's face.
Either way, it's all top notch tea time fun for all the family*!


*the show - not bumming and/or face spunking**
**not even in East Anglia

Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2019, 02:35:52 PM »

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2019, 03:55:23 PM »
Fill your boots.

The Complete Lionel Blair

The Complete Samantha

Lovely stuff!


Another classic from Chairman Humph:

Something little known about Lionel Blair is that he's long been a passionate enthusiast of country dancing and Scottish whiskies. Who could forget the time when, clearly lit up in the grounds of Edinburgh Castle on a cold autumnal night, Lionel gamely plunged himself in to the Gay Gordons, before finishing with a quick finger.

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2019, 04:09:28 PM »
The most accomplished player was, without doubt, Lionel Blair, but on one fateful visit to entertain the troops, even he was caught out. Lionel was quite happy on The Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy, but he was hard-pushed to finish off the rest of Company B in under two minutes.

kalowski

  • the Zone of Zero Funkativity
Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #10 on: August 29, 2019, 04:19:26 PM »
While Samantha nips out to check her Constable's properly hung....

Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2019, 07:04:41 PM »
I've noticed that in the new series of ISIHAC the Lionel jokes about his age rather than his implied homosexuality.  Progress I suppose, but not as funny.

Cardenio I

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2019, 07:32:17 PM »
The undoubted master was Lionel Blair who used to work himself to a frazzle leaping up to be given his films titles on cards. Even when Lionel collapsed over the chairman's desk receiving The Dirty Dozen, he could still cope with The Sting afterwards...

Glebe

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2019, 04:17:38 AM »
I remember the one where Lovely Liza Goddard stole Geoffrey Hayes' dungarees from the green room and Pertwee got pissed on dry sherry.

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #14 on: December 03, 2019, 08:54:15 AM »
I've noticed that in the new series of ISIHAC the Lionel jokes about his age rather than his implied homosexuality.  Progress I suppose, but not as funny.

I noticed that too. Definitely not as funny, don't really see why it's progress though.

To be honest I was more focused on noticing the general paucity of guest panel members. Graeme Garden especially is very much missed!

Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2019, 09:37:47 AM »
Re Humph's death, Blair said "you should only speak good of the dead.He's dead. Good."

I think it was maybe then that it stopped being blue chip smut and started being insults.                                                                           

Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2019, 11:19:21 AM »
My mate's wife, then  nurse in that London, told me she'd had to remove an 'object' from Lionel Blair's arsehole. She wouldn't tell me what....

Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #17 on: December 03, 2019, 11:43:20 AM »
Was this a 'doing the dusting on top of some steps wearing a dressing gown' type incident ?

Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #18 on: December 03, 2019, 11:47:47 AM »
I noticed that too. Definitely not as funny, don't really see why it's progress though.

well i love a good double entendre as much as the next person, but the premise of "Lionel Blair is a dancer so prob. gay, so luvs cock lol" feels a teensy bit off in 2019.

Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #19 on: December 03, 2019, 12:17:17 PM »
well i love a good double entendre as much as the next person, but the premise of "Lionel Blair is a dancer so prob. gay, so luvs cock lol" feels a teensy bit off in 2019.

TBF, I was told this on the late nineties and she'd given up nursing a fair while before then. To become a professional Clown believe it or not.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2019, 12:47:06 PM by SteK »

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #20 on: December 03, 2019, 12:39:07 PM »
well i love a good double entendre as much as the next person, but the premise of "Lionel Blair is a dancer so prob. gay, so luvs cock lol" feels a teensy bit off in 2019.

I'm afraid my extremely fond memories of Chairman Humph's innocent intonation, trump any concerns around political correctness.

On the other hand, without Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and quality regulars like Jeremy Hardy sadly unavailable - the recent episodes have made me think it may be time to stop altogether. I'd rather just listen to an older episode with the full cast.

Autopsy Turvey

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #21 on: December 03, 2019, 01:53:30 PM »
well i love a good double entendre as much as the next person, but the premise of "Lionel Blair is a dancer so prob. gay, so luvs cock lol" feels a teensy bit off in 2019.

Being 'a bit off in the current year' arguably makes them more funny; blithely rubbing against social attitudes and taboos is likely to heighten the reaction to a convoluted innuendo. I was going to say it's not just because he's a dancer, it's because he's Lionel Blair, and presumably if Lionel Blair was like he is in any other profession the jokes would still work. I was going to add that nobody made gay jokes about Fred Astaire, Nijinsky, Nureyev, Sammy Davis Jr or Gene Kelly just because they were dancers, but after a bit of research it seems all but one of them had gay tendencies. So the Lionel Blair jokes get funnier still because it seems he's about the only male dancer who isn't gay.

On the other hand, without Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and quality regulars like Jeremy Hardy sadly unavailable - the recent episodes have made me think it may be time to stop altogether. I'd rather just listen to an older episode with the full cast.

Certainly this. It is a shame to see it go the route of The News Quiz and Just A Minute, yet another vehicle for a rolling stock of voguish stand-ups and panel show whores, as if we live in a world where the woman from The Mash Report can adequately replace Barry Cryer. If it's "the antidote to panel games", what the fuck is Richard Osman doing in it? Plus Jack Dee hasn't been very convincing at his (or rather Humph's) 'I wish I wasn't here' schtick since having to feign interest in failed Apprentice candidates for a living.

Mind you I didn't think it would survive the death of Willie Rushton, so.

kalowski

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #22 on: December 03, 2019, 10:16:55 PM »
I'm afraid my extremely fond memories of Chairman Humph's innocent intonation, trump any concerns around political correctness.

On the other hand, without Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and quality regulars like Jeremy Hardy sadly unavailable - the recent episodes have made me think it may be time to stop altogether. I'd rather just listen to an older episode with the full cast.
Marcus Brigstock has been particularly shit.

Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #23 on: December 04, 2019, 01:35:08 AM »
Willie Rushton - Who replaced him?

Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #24 on: December 04, 2019, 08:07:00 AM »
Rotating guests. Often great, but sometimes David Mitchell.

thenoise

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Re: Lionel Blair and Una Stubbs: the classics
« Reply #25 on: December 04, 2019, 09:19:31 AM »
Quote from: Guardian Obituaries 4 December 2045
Marcus Brigstock has been particularly shit.