political satire thread

[Gregory Torso]

Donad Trump looks funny, like Gullivers ballsack after the Lilliputians cut it off and sewed it up and garnished it with a dead wolfhound and IGNORE HIS POLICIES HE LOOKS FUNNY

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

I'm pretty sure the Founding Fathers didn't consider that there would be a President with such CRAZY HAIR!

[Gregory Torso]

Boris

[Gregory Torso]

Boris Johnson rides his bike, madly, Britishly, observationally, into a ditch filled with the dying micturations of landfill youtubers whilst mewling "I HAVE GOT NEWS FOR YOU" then lands upside down in a memorial Diana rugby cuck tier cake saying "BALLY HO" and the journalist write about it in laffs for their blogs and colums.

[kittens]

we he we we're saying he's orange. skin and hair. we're saying he has orange colour. his is orange coloured, isn't it. bojo Johnson looking the same but not orange but exactly the same. haha. coffeefee. haha.

[touchingcloth]

Prorogue parl a meant? Prorogue it up your arse, more like.

[Gregory Torso]

Boris Johnson deliver sick ollies on a skateboard and fall off it, his hair goes everywhere like the soft paff of an exploding dandelion spore, BORUS, chants the throng.
Borus Johnson walks into a Londis shouting "who'se the muslim that runs this place?"

Birus Johnson feffs a grumbleweed of dander out of his croft into the trembling palm of a Saudi hawk boy.

John Bercow farts loudly during a quiet bit of parliament. "What the fuck are YOU gonna do, you albino tosser" he challenges PM Johnson.

[kittens]

so i read here in the newspaper that boris bojo Johnson is planning to  "pro-rogue" parliament. well boris my question for you is why don't you try to prorogue it up your arse, more like?

[kittens]

bogis meats with astaroth in the marginal plane. his commands are spoken in some unknowable inorganic tongue. borgis nods in agreement. he removes his subdermal transmitter and begins the process of evacuating the transdimensional echopod of all the thick, foul smelling fluid. borgris emerges and begins rapidly aging. he quickly swears to end at least ten thousand lives in the next five years and the aging process stops. dombus trunt nods and prepares himself for subdermal transmitter insertion. so it goes.

[Captain Z]

[touchingcloth]

What do you call a prorrogue?

"Pro AIDS".

[kittens]

people bojohnson likes kissing
number 1 dumbald trunk
2. his girlfriend (likes hitting her in his flat remember)
number three dondald truncts ass haha

[Gregory Torso]

Bort Johnson tells an assembly of retired Liverpudlian stevedores how horny the Hillsborough disaster made him ("like Mousse T"). "Aye, fair fuckin play" they says as they ruffle his unkempt cunt bob with their gnarly red hands.

[Gregory Torso]

I don't know about "Top Trumps" but Dinald Trump could certain bottom my anus.

[touchingcloth]

Vladimir Putin's? Shove it up you poo tin, more like.

[kittens]

a small yellow squid suddenly appears in an empty kitchen 6 ft off the ground and falls down hitting the floor with a wet splat. on impact its beak reflexively opens and ejects its entire nervous system, which aquaplanes across the now slick saline floor until coming to rest at the base of a plastic waste bin.

[touchingcloth]

[Gregory Torso]

Donald Trump logs an impressive amount of midges, termites and sweat bees under his dewlaps and has them broomed out each night by a mute girl as he crushes live ptarmigans under his bulk in a bath painted to look like the inside of a miscarrying womb.

[Gregory Torso]

Laura Kuenssberg practices saying "prorogue" in the mirror in the sexiest way possible as John Pienaar strains away on the toilet.

[poo]

No politics in here please

[kittens]

q) what do you call politics

b) monkey business

[kittens]

No politics in here please

"no politics in here sir this is the politics room"
classic satire.

[Gregory Torso]

A fat man cuts off the tip of his finger. A buttery, garlic ointment oozes out. A smaller man kneels down to suckle at the kiev feed. Somewhere in an online RPG, a paladin dies.

[touchingcloth]

A cartoon of Jamal Khashoggi having his fucking limbs sawn off but it's Vladimir Putin sawing them off and Donald Trump is in the background with a brown foot stitched where his hair should be and Putin has a cigar in his mouth with "trickle down economics" written on it and instead of embers at the end it's Che Guevara's face.

Signed Herge.

[touchingcloth]

A cartoon of Tommy Blairs but he's surrounded by three teachers in gowns and mortarboards and they're all stabbing him and the knives have "EDUCATION" written on them and there's a speech bubble coming out of Tommy's mouth and he's saying "Et tu, Browne?" and Gorbyn Brown is in the background saying "things can only get...better?"

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

Captain Z

[Ferris]

Sorry folks, unforeseen setback with the writing. Don't think I will be able to finish this by today.

Great news - had a breakthrough, may well be able to post this tonight after all.

Watch this space!

[Dex Sawash]

People are condemned to be frites - J-P Satire

[zomgmouse]

If only politicians were women's fashion designers with how much they care about POCKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ferris]

Just realized I didn't post my great satire joke and unfortunately I've forgotten it now.

Will have to go back to the drawing board.

Sorry everyone.