I'm starting to try Standup

[Cheesewogg]

I'm dipping my toe into embarking on a stand up stint. Going by my first open mic experience in Glasgow - my second one this year was on Tuesday - I might make a great toilet attendant. My day job knackered me, my set was a bit meandering and my energy was out my arse.
However, I'm being turned off in the first instance by the amount of be-hair-gelled Russell Kane-alikes swamping the green roomwho glad-hi-five the club overseers and talk about their "8 by 10s" a lot. Most of them seem to be as funny as a burning orphanage but at least the audience gave them some laughs as opposed to my stream of consciousness rambling. I'll need to rehearse.

There were a few nice guys on the roster and a good bit of advice was "worry about your own set, not anyone else." anyway, I'll keep plugging away.

[The Lurker]

Good luck, hope it goes well!

[Icehaven]

What are 8 by 10s?

[bgmnts]

Probably leave out the 'wogg' material.

[PlanktonSideburns]

If your not one of those Russel tossers that a good start! Good luck

[Small Man Big Horse]

What are 8 by 10s?

Headshots / Photographs. Or in some lucky cases, penis's.

And that sounds a bit grim Cheesewogg, when I was on the open mic circuit in London I never heard people talk about such things so I guess it's a bit more careerist up in Scotland. Then again at best a green room would be a toilet or a kitchen in a pub, so that might be why I didn't heard similar conversations. But good luck, and don't be too hard on yourself at this early stage, most people take a fair while before they start to feel comfortable and can have an inkling as to what will work and what won't.

[Tony Tony Tony]

Good luck... if you ever gig in the Luton area (can be a tough crowd but then if you live in Luton...) could you put me down for a couple of comps?

[thelittlemango]

Here is a joke you can use to warm up the crowd at the start:

"My best friend said I should be a stand-up comedian, I said why, he said "because every time you stand up, people laugh at you" (I've got funny little legs, so might not be suitable for your own).

[Cheesewogg]

Thankyou all. And, yes, I always thought I'd put my name down as CheesMogg. I need to change it. Help? Please?

[rasta-spouse]

Why do standups need headshots, are they going for acting/presenting work on the side?

[Tony Tony Tony]

Thankyou all. And, yes, I always thought I'd put my name down as CheesMogg. I need to change it. Help? Please?

Assuming you are looking for help on stand up rather than on a change of name... from my comedy consumers perspective I would say finding your voice is as important as what you say.  Especially as you said earlier that your act was stream of consciousness ramblings rather than, I guess, a gag filled jokefest.

I was thinking of Jack Dee who I once heard saying he found his comedy start difficult as at first he had a very different style where  his early gigs were going badly and he was on the verge of quitting, then his 'grumpiest man in comedy' came about as he was so down at at gig he came across as miserable and found the same material as before was getting laughs.     

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Why do standups need headshots

More merciful than merely figurative death onstage.

[Jockice]

I was thinking of Jack Dee who I once heard saying he found his comedy start difficult as at first he had a very different style where  his early gigs were going badly and he was on the verge of quitting, then his 'grumpiest man in comedy' came about as he was so down at at gig he came across as miserable and found the same material as before was getting laughs.   

Didn't that happen to Les Dawson too?

[hummingofevil]

If you have big legs rub the back of the bottom of your legs and say "ooo... I've got calves the size of small cows". If you have noticeably skinny legs do the same but follow that by pulling a tiny toy model cow from your pocket and show it to audience. Then look at it through a magnifying glass to exaggerate the point. And pull a face.

If you have normal size legs I can't help you.

[thelittlemango]

If you have big legs rub the back of the bottom of your legs and say "ooo... I've got calves the size of small cows". If you have noticeably skinny legs do the same but follow that by pulling a tiny toy model cow from your pocket and show it to audience. Then look at it through a magnifying glass to exaggerate the point. And pull a face.

If you have normal size legs I can't help you.

And then tell them that your friend always said you should be a stand up comedian because as soon as you stand up people laugh at you. And pull a face.

[hummingofevil]

And then tell them that your friend always said you should be a stand up comedian because as soon as you stand up people laugh at you. And pull a face.

I think your bit should go first as it is stronger than my bit.

Come on then CaB. Let's crowd source Cheesewogg a set.

[Bennett Brauer]

Why do standups need headshots, are they going for acting/presenting work on the side?

Comedians' 8x10s aren't so much headshots as ways of demonstrating the sort of act you're going to get.

Holding detached door handle and looking resigned = deadpan anecdotes about life going wrong
Scratching chin with one quizzical eyebrow raised = what the fuck is going on?/Everything's mental
Back of head facing the camera = anarchist
Mouth agape and both eyebrows raised 3 inches = almost everyone else

[holyzombiejesus]

Say your name is Stan Dup so you were born to be a comedian. Then you can say something satirical about what Boris Johnson's real name is (make sure his surname is swearword-noun like twatbottle or pisscushion). Make a joke about Boris' new puppy and talk about it rubbing itself up on women's legs and then say 'and the puppy misbehaves too', then say what a mess politics is and say you think the lectern should be prime minister because you can really get behind that (like someone on here said earlier).

[Jake Thingray]

At the risk of missing the point of the first line of the above post, in the 90's there really was a comic called Stan Dupp.

[dissolute ocelot]

Comedians' 8x10s aren't so much headshots as ways of demonstrating the sort of act you're going to get.

Holding detached door handle and looking resigned = deadpan anecdotes about life going wrong
Scratching chin with one quizzical eyebrow raised = what the fuck is going on?/Everything's mental
Back of head facing the camera = anarchist
Mouth agape and both eyebrows raised 3 inches = almost everyone else

There are few things more depressing than a poster with 10 comedians' heads all doing exactly the same pose. I'd rather see your dick, to be honest.

[Icehaven]

Headshots / Photographs.

I thee I thee. Interesting that these supposedly amusing people talk about them a lot then, I wonder what the fuck they find to say so much about?

[Captain Z]

Why's he called Tim Vine? Because all his jokes are 6 seconds long?

You can have that one.