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Getting married on Saturday

Started by Blinder Data, September 02, 2019, 04:03:49 PM

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Noonling


Twed

Craig David has finally settled down



José

Quote from: Blinder Data on September 02, 2019, 04:03:49 PM
Any advice?

pop a sprig wild garlic in your shoe to ward off angry spirits.

Try not to let to many people buy you shots.  I hope you have a lovely day!

Lordofthefiles

Keep taking time out during the day to step back and enjoy it.

It's nerve-wracking but everyone there is on your side.

Be patient, everyone wants a piece of you and the day flys by, so enjoy as much time together with your new missus (or Mr.) as you can, but don't expect to see much of each other or be able to engage in very long conversations together.

Don't drink too much too early.

Puce Moment

Quote from: Lordofthefiles on September 02, 2019, 04:28:26 PM
Keep taking time out during the day to step back and enjoy it.
Don't drink too much too early.

These two bits of advice are all you need. Have a good one.

Blinder Data

Thanks all. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be overwhelmed with it all and cry my fucking eyes out.

Did any of you cry your fucking eyes out at your wedding?

Puce Moment

Quote from: Blinder Data on September 02, 2019, 04:39:33 PM
Thanks all. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be overwhelmed with it all and cry my fucking eyes out.

Did any of you cry your fucking eyes out at your wedding?

Yes, as mentioned recently in a different thread, my mother (who had come out of hospital after a suicide attempt only a few months before) read a poem she wrote during the service so I spent the service with tears in my eyes, and a cry in my throat for the rest of the day.

Oh yeah, try to find a point in the day when you are just with your spouse (even if it is 10min or so) just to take stock after the service otherwise you get separated and caught up in wedding stuff.

Twed

Imagine if Trigger turns up and goes "Marleeeeene!"! That's the sort of madcap thing that can happen at a wedding.

idunnosomename

Is it a church? The priest may quiz you on the scriptures. Mess up and you aren't allowed to get married that day and you lose your deposit. Bone up on the major prophets and numbers, theyre cunts for delving into them

pancreas

It depends entirely on what you have decided to get married to.

Captain Z

Don't wear white stilettos with your black jeans.

Alberon

Quote from: pancreas on September 02, 2019, 04:59:59 PM
It depends entirely on what you have decided to get married to.

True, it could be not a person but, say, a Citroen C4 instead. If they're lucky, anyway.

Do the whole ceremony impersonating Terry Scott.

Seriously, fuck first thing in the morning, not afterwards when you're too knackered and full of booze and buffet to do it.

shiftwork2

Congrats on getting married on Saturday.

Also, it is prolly a big mistake.  Do you feel trapped?

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: Lordofthefiles on September 02, 2019, 04:28:26 PM
Keep taking time out during the day to step back and enjoy it.

It's nerve-wracking but everyone there is on your side.

Be patient, everyone wants a piece of you and the day flys by, so enjoy as much time together with your new missus (or Mr.) as you can, but don't expect to see much of each other or be able to engage in very long conversations together.

Don't drink too much too early.

This, and add 25 more compliments to your partner in your speech. My speech on reflection was me singing my own glory more than my partners, the only thing I would change if I could

I'm assuming you're as much of a vain glorious basted who loves them sound if his own voice as much as me

BritishHobo


BritishHobo

I don't mean 'don't panic mate, jesus'

I mean 'literally don't poo in your pants during the ceremony'

BritishHobo

But also don't panic mate, jesus. It'll be great.

Twed

Don't let your dad go to empty the cash at his launderette and then there's a small-time gang trying to rob him with a shotgun and they call themselves the Independent Rastafarian Army and then Terry has to beat the leader up and the police still arrest Terry anyway!

mothman

Don't forget Barry has the right to claim droit de seigneur. And no, there's no appeal, the Ts&Cs when you signed up to CaB were quite clear.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Blinder Data on September 02, 2019, 04:39:33 PM
Thanks all. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be overwhelmed with it all and cry my fucking eyes out.

Did any of you cry your fucking eyes out at your wedding?

A relative of mine did. Cried all morning, all the way through the ceremony, then all evening. But twelve years on they're still happily together.

Captain Z

Remember it's tradition for the groom to get off with the head bridesmaid.

Emma Raducanu

If there's ever an occasion I'm nervous of, I kick proceedings off with 200ml vodka and listen to music loudly on headphones. My mood picks up immeasurably. I then coast through the day like a breeze. It's just important to keep topped up. I find a small beer every hour or so suffices. Any more; you're fucked and the whole day will be ruined.

Alberon

Don't forget that the bloke in the ceremony (if there is one) has to get his old chap out and lay it on the cushion with the rings during the vows. It's bad luck if you don't.

Blinder Data

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on September 02, 2019, 05:53:20 PM
A relative of mine did. Cried all morning, all the way through the ceremony, then all evening. But twelve years on they're still happily together.

I should have clarified the tears would be of happiness.

Lost control of the budget, lads. Can't remember what I've paid for or what I haven't. So close to the wedding so I'm happy to throw money at problems to make them go away.

Weddings are terribly stressful, thank God I'm only doing it the once

Jittlebags

Get several wasp traps. If you get stang on the bell end it could go one of two ways.