Getting married on Saturday

[Ferris]

Go with the flow. Everyone is there because they reckon you're great so you just need to put in a reasonable effort (turn up at the right time, wear some trousers, etc etc) and everyone else will help out and fill in the blanks (turn you to face the right direction, lend you their shirt etc etc) because they reckon you're great (see above).

You'll be alright. Two glasses of whisky before the main event to help everything move along.

[zomgmouse]

Eyyyyyyyy congrats Blinder Data!!! You two seem very happy together so glad to hear this is happening now.

[The Boston Crab]

Everyone always says take some time out with your wife to 'just enjoy it' or 'to take it all in'.

Inane. What does that even mean?

My advice is take some time out to see your mates because you're NEVER going to see them again until you get divorced.

[Cerys]

Congratulations, BD!

Don't wear white stilettos with your black jeans.

This.  It's grounds for annulment.  The law says so and everything.  In a big book.

[BlodwynPig]

Keep taking time out during the day to step back and enjoy it.

It's nerve-wracking but everyone there is on your side.

Be patient, everyone wants a piece of you and the day flys by, so enjoy as much time together with your new missus (or Mr.) as you can, but don't expect to see much of each other or be able to engage in very long conversations together.

Don't drink too much too early.

Such a middle class wedding

[The Boston Crab]

Everyone saying oh you must be so nervous and all that.

Idiots.

What's to be nervous about, unless you got the old bag preggers and papa got a shotty?

Oh, no. All my friends and family have come to get pissed and eat some nice food because me and the person I love are gonna be happy. I'm absolutely shitting myself.

Congratulations, Blinder Data!

[Konki]

Take a shoehorn to help guide in your floppy winkle when you get back to the bridal suite. Either that or don't drink the equivalent of your bodyweight in Guinness and champagne. Trust me on this.

[BlodwynPig]

In the speech be sure to ask the guests their opinion on Boris' puppy. If majority go doe eyed, sack it all off and go live in woods alone

[Cerys]

Especially if Boris' puppy in this context refers to BoJo's penis.

[checkoutgirl]

Weddings are terribly stressful, thank God I'm only doing it the once

Actually statistically for an English person only getting married once is relatively rare. The Brits love getting married so much they tend to do it at least two or three times.

[checkoutgirl]

Remember, weddings cost the guests £400 each on average so there's that financial burden you're putting on folk.

[SteveDave]

Don't have kids. Anyone who says they're a blessing is a simpleton.

[king_tubby]

Congratulations and well done!

Remember to slip the DJ 50 quid to play Dead Skin Mask by Slayer for the first dance, as opposed to whatever mawkish rubbish your bride/groom has chosen.

MOSH PIT

[Beagle 2]

Congratulations matey, it will be the best day of your life and your only chance to see what it's like to be famous in a crowded room.

[Neville Chamberlain]

My wedding was so brilliant even the cake loved it!!!

[checkoutgirl]

your only chance to see what it's like to be famous in a crowded room.

I think you've just hit the nail on the head on why weddings annoy me so much.

[Cuellar]

Oh I don't know

[Pancake]

Massive fucking waste of money and you won't remember a second of it within a year. Congrats.

[Shit Good Nose]

I was incredibly nervous and hated every second of it until the first dance was done.

Mrs Nose hated her dress.

It shit down with rain for a couple of hours (despite the forecast for a dry and warm day) fucking up some of the photos which were mostly set for outside.


Beyond all that, we both absolutely loved the after party and wished we could do that bit all over again.

So my advice is to just grin and bear it through all the official stuff, get all that bollocks out of the way, and then just enjoy the party afterwards.

Also, have plenty of photos taken of the guests and the party - a good tip is to buy a load of cheapo film cameras (if they still do them) and put one on each table and tell everyone to just snap away at whatever they want.  Honestly, the number of people I've heard say "oh, we wished we had some photos of everyone else as well".  We did a second album ourselves of just everyone else and it was nice to look back at something other than yourselves.

[Blinder Data]

Well I cried like a baby throughout but so did MY WIFE and most of the guests. Almost certainly the best day of my life (so far). The feeling of love and support from everyone there was overwhelming, like your first E. Now I understand why most married people get excited about weddings - it's like your chasing that high again and again.

I'm on my honeymoon and very happy! Love to you all

[Beagle 2]

Top man, huge congratulations to the two of you.

[Captain Z]

Boring. Come back when you've been Nandos and then we'll talk.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Congrats BD, belatedly. I hope you manage to keep all the other wives secret from one another.

[shiftwork2]

I give it two weeks.

[imitationleather]

Did you take time out to just enjoy it?

[Cerys]

Yaaaaay!

[Konki]

Did you remember to pack a shoehorn?

[zomgmouse]

Where is the honeymoon?

Also I do not recommend getting addicted to weddings

[madhair60]

Where is the honeymoon?

swavesy

[Old Nehamkin]

Hey, massive congratulations, pal!