Celebrity MasterChef

[kalowski]

Razor Ruddock ready to cook a whole goat.
Ote sexiest cook on the show.
Who the fuck is Joey Essex? I hope he fucks off. He's going for the "I don't know what I'm doing" angle, but he's clearly pretending.

[kalowski]

Zandra Rhodes has come as Sir Les Patterson.

[Emma Raducanu]

Who the fuck is Joey Essex?

Probably one of the more famous people in the series I should imagine.

[Puce Moment]

Ugh, could do without this idiot act bloke.

Why do they send them to a restaurant so quickly? They can barely toast fucking bread.

I think might be back on the single malt. You can tell in the eyes.

[Jittlebags]

I liked Ruddock's huge pasta thing. I look forward to his next effort, a whole goat, cooked on a spit with a slice of Melba toast cheekily drizzled with cold pressed olive oil and balsamic reduction.

[bgmnts]

Pretty sure Ruddock's last tv appearance was Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away. So it's nice to see him doing well/doing utter shit tv to pay off his huge debts.

[metaltax]

Pretty sure Ruddock's last tv appearance was Can't Pay? We'll Take it Away. So it's nice to see him doing well/doing utter shit tv to pay off his huge debts.

Vile man with a vile wife. The only positive thing I took away from their appearance on that show was that they must make each other's lives a misery.

[Gurke and Hare]

Joey Essex was less of a cunt than I assumed everyone off TOWIE is after seeing Gemma Collins on it last year.

[fatguyranting]

I can't look at Ote without grinning. She's just so lovely.

[lankyguy95]

I can't look at Ote without masturbating. She's just so lovely.

Disgusting.

[kalowski]

Zandra Rhodes has come as Sir Les Patterson.

Actually, Zandra Rhodes has come as Jo Brand dressed as the Joker.

[holyzombiejesus]

Never watched this until last night. Does one get knocked out each night? Liked Josie Long but she's not going to win. That awful woman from a quiz will.

[sevendaughters]

My one celebrity friend is on this, waiting for someone to say something horrible about them.

[kalowski]

My one celebrity friend is on this, waiting for someone to say something horrible about them.

Ian from EastEnders?

[bgmnts]

Has Josie Long always been that fat?

[holyzombiejesus]

Has Josie Long always been that fat?

Have you, cunt?

[bgmnts]

Nah I've always been mega fat, I just had no idea she gained weight. I'm not even 100% sure she has but it seemed it.

[Shit Good Nose]

She's definitely put on some terry since I saw her live a couple of years ago, but then so have I.  More than her as well.

[lankyguy95]

She's had a child fairly recently, I think.

[holyzombiejesus]

Fucking state of yous.

[Uncle TechTip]

"My one celebrity friend", you make it sound like most people have two or three.

[Puce Moment]

Could we have more tangential discussions about a famous woman's weight fluctuations please? Every thread if possible.

[bgmnts]

She's had a child fairly recently, I think.

Makes sense.

[bgmnts]

So they made the choux pastry for them? What's the point?

Fucksake.

[dr beat]

This is normally one of my go-to programmes, but looking at the line-up this year, I'm not so sure. 

[neardark]

Tonight I learned that Josie Long isn't gay.

[Gurke and Hare]

Greg said "I laooove" in exactly the same way that the fake Rod Hull off Fist of Fun says "I laooove jelly."

[mothman]

Not even one mention of Ian Beale being in tonight's episode?

[Jittlebags]

Tsk. Judge Jools and his greasy squid. If I were him, I wouldn't have included grease in the recipe. Schoolboy error that.

[Inspector Norse]

In 2019, the celebrities taking part are Élizabeth Bourgine, Joey Essex, Alex George, Andy Grant, Rickie Haywood-Williams, Judge Jules, Josie Long, Oti Mabuse, Kellie Maloney, Dominic Parker, Vicky Pattison, Martha Reeves, Zand.ra Rhodes, Neil Ruddock, Greg Rutherford, Jenny Ryan, Tomasz Schafernaker, Mim Shaikh, Dillian Whyte and Adam Woodyatt

I've heard of five of them. And even then I only have a vague idea of what a Joey Essex is.

Who are these people and why are they celebrities?

Is there anybody left in the UK who hasn't appeared as a celebrity on a reality show?