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March 29, 2024, 10:14:00 AM

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Police Chief gonna kick your ass

Started by Fishfinger, September 04, 2019, 09:34:29 AM

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Cuellar

Oh yeah? Well I got a guy that puts you on East 24th TEN MINUTES after our friend bought a one way ticket to deathtown, travelling first class 44 slug to the HEAD

Your dad can throw as many fancy lawyers at us as he likes, you looking at a loooong stretch, guy. Long old stretch.

Rizla

This new DA's got city hall jammed so far up my ass i can't even walk into o'malleys bar on fifth st

madhair60

Hope ya like serial killers, Sullivan, cos we got thirteen a' the bastards on the loose - each one prettier than the last.

rasta-spouse

Forget it John, it's Chinese food.

(or as they call it in China, food) haha

Chollis

Oh look everybody, it's college boy with the theories again. 40 years in the force, nothin but a measly gold watch and a prolapsed anus to show for it. They ever tell you that in Princeton, college boy?

madhair60

Oh, so he killed his girlfriend, huh? Cut up her little face so she ain't pretty no more? I guess that's case closed, huh, Sullivan? Well, not so fast. I gotta type this closed case up.

madhair60

Sullivan, you are the worst, most incompetent, stupidest... most brilliant cop on this force!

Fishfinger

It's at times like this I miss Kreplowski. Before he got his face all blowed off. See what I gotta work with now? Fuck, this coffee is cold.

Fishfinger

Hendrix, you fuck my step-daughter one more time and it'll be your ass! And where the hell is Kreplowski?

Chollis

Commissioner's ridin my ass hard on this one O'Driscoll, so you wanna crack wise you do it someplace else, eh?

madhair60

Heard you were gettin' all sex-in-a-bed with my prize witness. I'm warnin' ya here and now, Sullivan, don't fall in love with no crime dame.

Rizla

This new mayor's got this whole department right where he wants it - up inside of his ass. Think of that, O'Driscoll. An entire new york city police department, inside of an elected official's lower bowel.

Chollis

Hey college boy, that diploma of yours gonna stop bullets?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Ey

Do I look like I

Give. A. Fock wot you think McClair?

Fishfinger

O'Driscoll, huh. Rings a bell. Didn't I jizz on his sister's tits that time?

No, Chief, that was my sister.

Right, right. Sorry, Tony. Well anyway...


Cuellar

What's that, wise guy? That was YOUR dawg? Maybe the damn mutt shouldna looked so fuckin SHIT today

Gimme a nickel, I need to call the DA he'll shit when I tell him

I just had the mayor's office on the phone, Sullivan. Says you and Liebowicz tore up the goddamned Macy's day parade on your wild goose chase and now he's got a bill for 100k and I'm gonna have to pawn my wife's fat titties to pay for it. You better bring in Martinez before the end of the week or I'm sending your ass into orbit.

Mr Banlon

She's a hooker. They'll tear her to pieces in court !

Chollis

I got the DA's head so far up my ass on this one I'm seeing stars Bachowski, and now you're coming in here dumping three more John Does on my desk?

pancreas

You ploughed the Black Maria into a cattery and LOST the paedophile ring? It's a good thing I'm a phrenologist Minkowski, because you need your HEAD looking at.

Flouncer

O'Driscoll? That mick bahsted? He couldn't count to eleven without pulling his dick out. Ya expect me to work with this guy?

I got four of the city's finest down on 32nd and Main shitting out hotdogs whilst you think you can just come into my office and piss coffee.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Fishfinger on September 04, 2019, 03:23:54 PM
O'Driscoll, huh. Rings a bell. Didn't I jizz on his sister's tits that time?

No, Chief, that was my sister.

Right, right. Sorry, Tony. Well anyway...

Simpsons scriptwriters advised to " tone things down".

Thanks to your big mouth, our man on the inside just got iced. That's the fifth this month! If you gave half as much of a damn about that badge as you do about chasing tail all round the precinct, we'd all be drinking champagne out the DA's asshole.

a duncandisorderly

you know what? fuck you.

>puts gun & badge on desk<

Rizla

Now you listen and you listen real good, O'Driscoll, you wanna play grab-fanny with the boys down at city hall on this, go right ahead. My orders come from the DA, and the DA just happens to live up inside of my ass.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

I don't care if you have to rape every 4 year old in this precinct Dooley, read my lips: Results

*cuts to his lips with 'Results' written in permanent marker*

Inspector Norse

You Federal boys with your shiny badges and babysmooth asses just don't get how we do things in this town, dammit. You walk in here thinking you can take over, there's guys out there been working cases since you were in diapers with shit up to your tits. You don't get to come in here stinkin of fancy office chairs and vegan moisturiser tell us what to do. You get to ride with two guys and you let them do the talking, you hear?

But, you know, any leads or advice you can give us, we appreciate it, cuz we don't have a fuckin clue on this one.

Fishfinger

Our stats are fucked. Listen, we need a cyborg cop on the beat, it's the only way to deal with these crimes and/or labour disputes! What? No, I don't give a fuck. You can gimme a cop with his brains blown out and one functional limb - I literally couldn't care less! Slop the meat in some armour and get me results, or it's your ass!