Author Topic: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]  (Read 3583 times)

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #30 on: September 07, 2019, 05:45:51 AM »
fucking hell so whatever post nursery is? infants? first base? we had this tiny room for a tiny group of us cunts and one day this lad ste brings his video to school for everyone to watch and for whatever reason I just hide the video. We watched it, loved it, and then I just wentright itll b funny if I hide that and watch them all look

Jockice

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #31 on: September 07, 2019, 09:33:00 AM »
Redacted.

alan nagsworth

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #32 on: September 07, 2019, 09:39:53 AM »
At school when I was about 8 I was an accessory to a bunch of lads trapping one lad inside a type of laundry basket and poking him through the wicker weaves with sharp pencils. I didn’t do any of the trapping or the poking but I didn’t do anything to stop it and in a way I fucking loved it

Cerys

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #33 on: September 07, 2019, 10:39:12 AM »
Did you love hiding his perforated cadaver afterwards?

BlodwynPig

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #34 on: September 07, 2019, 10:45:27 AM »
At school when I was about 8 I was an accessory to a bunch of lads trapping one lad inside a type of laundry basket and poking him through the wicker weaves with sharp pencils. I didn’t do any of the trapping or the poking but I didn’t do anything to stop it and in a way I fucking loved it

The storyteller never does the really bad stuff do they?

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #35 on: September 07, 2019, 10:53:04 AM »
One time at work my boss was annoying me, so I straight up fucked his head through with my boot. Fucked the cunt right off I did. Then I threw a bag of chips at a wall.

alan nagsworth

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #36 on: September 07, 2019, 11:00:49 AM »
Did you love hiding his perforated cadaver afterwards?

No but fun fact: this little episode lead to the invention of the pencil holder

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #37 on: September 07, 2019, 11:08:56 AM »
Suralan Sugar would have been proud.

Isn't there some horrible story from Vic Reeves' autobiography about a weird boy who nailed a load of frogs to a tree? That's you that is.

Now I'm thinking. You kiss a frog you get a prince, but if you nail a frog, what do you get then? Experiments must be set out.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2019, 12:36:44 PM by Poobum »

JesusAndYourBush

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #38 on: September 07, 2019, 11:31:52 AM »
Now I thinking. You kiss a frog you get a prince, but if you nail a frog, what do you get then? Experiments must be set out.

Jesus.  The downside is that he then nails you.

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #39 on: September 07, 2019, 02:35:31 PM »
Her having said earlier that evening she was just in the mood to cuddle, slowly escalating spooning my girlfriend at the time to touching her in a violatory way, justifying this to myself on grounds that she'd say no or get out of bed if she was not okay with what I was doing, my thoughts entirely and grotesquely solipsistic. Think I knew she was falling out of love with me and this could be last time I ever saw her (long distance relationship). Still think about it daily some decade later, but no longer almost every minute, taking some relief from knowledge she said later told me I was making a big thing out of something not significant to her, no different from myriad other disappointing and uncomfortable experiences she'd had. Reading most reactions to the Aziz Ansari case, in which Ansari pressed on against multiple clear refusals, assaulting his victim, with most seeing him as having done nothing wrong, has left me cynically suspecting many if not most cis guys as predatory or un-self-aware self-pitying meatvoids who make excuses for a basic lack of concern for the humanity of women and their boundaries through daily efforts not to think or feel too deeply. So, these days, I hate myself not the less, but less often work upon the assumption I should defer to the morality of other men in particular. Most of you guys on here seem alright though, but this is the neurotic intellectual vanguard.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2019, 05:50:32 PM by gout_pony »

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #40 on: September 07, 2019, 05:18:45 PM »
Now I'm thinking. You kiss a frog you get a prince, but if you nail a frog, what do you get then?

Nigel Farage.

touchingcloth

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #41 on: September 08, 2019, 12:09:56 AM »
Her having said earlier that evening she was just in the mood to cuddle, slowly escalating spooning my girlfriend at the time to touching her in a violatory way, justifying this to myself on grounds that she'd say no or get out of bed if she was not okay with what I was doing, my thoughts entirely and grotesquely solipsistic. Think I knew she was falling out of love with me and this could be last time I ever saw her (long distance relationship). Still think about it daily some decade later, but no longer almost every minute, taking some relief from knowledge she said later told me I was making a big thing out of something not significant to her, no different from myriad other disappointing and uncomfortable experiences she'd had. Reading most reactions to the Aziz Ansari case, in which Ansari pressed on against multiple clear refusals, assaulting his victim, with most seeing him as having done nothing wrong, has left me cynically suspecting many if not most cis guys as predatory or un-self-aware self-pitying meatvoids who make excuses for a basic lack of concern for the humanity of women and their boundaries through daily efforts not to think or feel too deeply. So, these days, I hate myself not the less, but less often work upon the assumption I should defer to the morality of other men in particular. Most of you guys on here seem alright though, but this is the neurotic intellectual vanguard.

Did you end up doing sex?

chveik

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #42 on: September 08, 2019, 12:26:35 AM »
this post
« Last Edit: September 08, 2019, 12:39:17 AM by chveik »

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #43 on: September 08, 2019, 11:32:31 AM »
Did you end up doing sex?

If you mean intercourse, no - think I realised it wasn't going further and stopped after a short while

thecuriousorange

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #44 on: September 08, 2019, 11:47:48 AM »
Do you ever just anonymously do something a bit shitty out of badness, like direct your wee jet into the bog-brush holder at work until it overflows, because I don't.

touchingcloth

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #45 on: September 08, 2019, 12:00:19 PM »
Do you ever just anonymously do something a bit shitty out of badness, like direct your wee jet into the bog-brush holder at work until it overflows, because I don't.

Yeah, I used to do this quite regularly with hate crimes.

JesusAndYourBush

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #46 on: September 08, 2019, 12:58:25 PM »
Do you ever just anonymously do something a bit shitty out of badness, like direct your wee jet into the bog-brush holder at work until it overflows, because I don't.

At primary school there was a big canister of some sort of cleaning fluid that (we assumed) the caretaker used to pour down the bogs.  A bunch of us took to unscrewing the cap & peeing into the canister.  We did this for over a year until one day the canister had been dumped in a far corner of the playground.

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #47 on: September 08, 2019, 01:56:49 PM »
Aged 17 or 18, got off with the guy my best friend was infatuated with at the time - they were never an item or anything, but she'd been trying to get his attention for the best part of a year then I drunkenly just got into bed with him at a party. Her bed, in fact. We're still best friends (she knows) but even though it was a lifetime ago I still feel bad about it.

Dumped someone on Valentine's day.

Pocketed a council tax rebate of about £100 which should have been split three ways with the other flatmates (the bill had been in my name and they got in touch with me shortly after I'd moved out, and I really needed the money at the time - in my defense, I was the only one in that tenancy who ever bought cleaning products, bin bags, toilet paper etc. so it probably wasn't a huge amount more than what I'd spent over that year, but it was still a bit of a sneaky, shitty thing to do).

Flipped the bird at the Pope. If the above litany of wrongs wasn't going to secure me a place in Hell then that one should do the trick.

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #48 on: September 08, 2019, 02:12:28 PM »
Yeah, flipping the bird is the worst one. I mean, it's a bit American that, innit? The two fingered salute would have been more acceptable.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #49 on: September 08, 2019, 02:13:55 PM »
You can apologize to the pope when you get there

H-O-W-L

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #50 on: September 08, 2019, 09:24:12 PM »
gonn ahve to burn off my fingerptinst

hamfist

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #51 on: September 08, 2019, 09:41:40 PM »
Recently I was with my brother and 6 year old son at a restaurant. They were playing ‘rock, paper, scissors’ but using more powerful things like ‘nuke’ and ‘black hole’.

My son was facing defeat so whispered in my ear for something he could use to win.

I said “AIDS”.

The fucking look my brother gave me. Not my finest hour.

mothman

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #52 on: September 08, 2019, 10:57:59 PM »
I do sometimes ask myself this: was it the first killing, or each time afterwards I decided to do it again?

touchingcloth

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #53 on: September 08, 2019, 11:10:41 PM »
I remember one time in primary school getting a kid with mental health issues who only really said "yes" and asking him hilarious witty things like "are you gay?"

That one was bad enough that even at the age of 8 or 9 I realised it was Not On and cried in my bed. It still plays on my mind because it was just inexcusably nasty. In my later school and early university life I made plenty of haha ironic retard jokes, but there was no semblance of irony to that, just pure advantage taking.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #54 on: September 08, 2019, 11:25:58 PM »
Recently I was with my brother and 6 year old son at a restaurant. They were playing ‘rock, paper, scissors’ but using more powerful things like ‘nuke’ and ‘black hole’.

My son was facing defeat so whispered in my ear for something he could use to win.

I said “AIDS”.

The fucking look my brother gave me. Not my finest hour.

I laughed.

What's the hand signal?

Cerys

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #55 on: September 08, 2019, 11:33:37 PM »
I do sometimes ask myself this: was it the first killing, or each time afterwards I decided to do it again?

Polish that up a bit and it would make a glorious first line of a novel.

pancreas

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #56 on: September 08, 2019, 11:36:16 PM »
Recently I was with my brother and 6 year old son at a restaurant. They were playing ‘rock, paper, scissors’ but using more powerful things like ‘nuke’ and ‘black hole’.

My son was facing defeat so whispered in my ear for something he could use to win.

I said “AIDS”.

The fucking look my brother gave me. Not my finest hour.

That's fucking brilliant. I pride myself on subverting relatives' children and that's better than anything I've ever managed.

chveik

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #57 on: September 08, 2019, 11:45:01 PM »
why does AIDS have become such a subject for humour recently? is that because western people are a lot less likely to die from it now?

Dex Sawash

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #58 on: September 08, 2019, 11:48:58 PM »
It's retroviral correctness gone mad

touchingcloth

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #59 on: September 08, 2019, 11:51:29 PM »
That's fucking brilliant. I pride myself on subverting relatives' children and that's better than anything I've ever managed.

I think it's hamfist's own child who he subverted, but the mention of the brother making a face also wrong-footed me. I think it is his finest hour, whether it was his child or not.