Worst thing you ever did [split topic]

[Cold Meat Platter]

why does AIDS have become such a subject for humour recently? is that because western people are a lot less likely to die from it now?

yeah i think joking about that kind of thing is real Creutzfeldt-Jakob-tier stuff.

[chveik]

yeah i think joking about that kind of thing is real Creutzfeldt-Jakob-tier stuff.

I'm just curious, that's all

[Icehaven]

This is so far from the worst thing I've ever done but it's definitely the most recent and so fucking stupid so I had to get it off my chest somewhere; I'm one of those twats that feels I absolutely 'need' a phone, wouldn't be without one etc., and I've been due an upgrade for a few weeks so I sorted it out on Saturday and was feeling pathetically relieved at now having the old one as a spare/backup (having given my previous old/spare to Mr. H's daughter about a year ago, which she promptly broke or lost or something.) Anyway I activated a giffgaff sim in the old one yesterday so both were up and running and useable - and then about an hour later dropped it and smashed the screen into oblivion.

In the grand scheme of things this less than doesn't matter, and in all likelihood I'll forget it ever happened in a few weeks months years, but right now I'm so fucking unbelievably annoyed with myself I could spit shit. I've even hidden it so no one finds out and ordered a replacement I really can't afford, but the alternative is admitting I'm so cack handed that I'd let something so dumb unlucky happen.

Anyway sorry back to booting boss's heads in and stuff.

[H-O-W-L]

Anyway sorry back to booting boss's heads in and stuff.

I've never kicked anyone's head in. _{that didn't deserve it.}

[grassbath]

Said I'd go to visit a senile dying old man who was a friend and mentor to me when I was a teenager, and instead went to the pub and got pissed on my own because I couldn't face up to it.

[Sherringford Hovis]

visit a senile dying old man

Send him a card saying "nice to see you again, thank you for having me": sorted. No one's upset.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

I ran through a wheat field once when I was a child. It didn't really cause any damage and nobody else knew about it at the time but even now, more than forty years later, hardly a day goes by when I don't think about what I did.

[hamfist]

I think it's hamfist's own child who he subverted, but the mention of the brother making a face also wrong-footed me. I think it is his finest hour, whether it was his child or not.

Yeah, it was my own child. My brother - who has no children - was disgusted with me, and rightfully so.

[checkoutgirl]

I ran through a wheat field once when I was a child. It didn't really cause any damage and nobody else knew about it at the time but even now, more than forty years later, hardly a day goes by when I don't think about what I did.

This is taking the not doing anything bad being the worst thing you've ever done theme of this thread to ridiculous extremes.

Who wants to admit the truly bad shit they did on the internet? Nobody it seems.

[garbed_attic]

This is taking the not doing anything bad being the worst thing you've ever done theme of this thread to ridiculous extremes.

Who wants to admit the truly bad shit they did on the internet? Nobody it seems.

Hey excuse me! I've admitted the worst shit I've done - either respect folks' desire to protect themselves or commit yourself to some stone-cold confessional.

Besides, Voltan was almost definitely making a jokey reference to Theresa May.

[PlanktonSideburns]

I'm just curious, that's all

me too, its pretty weird, like suddenly theres a load of 90s school kids in here

[NurseNugent]

I gave a married colleague a blow job in restaurant toilet on a work night out. His wife was in the next room. I later learnt it was their wedding anniversary.

[Cerys]

Did she also have a brain tumour?  Or a secret pregnancy?  I think we should be told.

[madhair60]

This thread just got sexy

[Cerys]

I think you'll find that this thread has always been sexy.

[Cuellar]

I gave a married colleague a blow job in restaurant toilet on a work night out. His wife was in the next room. I later learnt it was their wedding anniversary.

Do these things actually happen? How on earth do things get to this point.

[Cerys]

I choose to believe that NurseNugent's life is written by Phil Redmond.

[Drop Dead Fred]

On holiday in my early teens, I dropped the most evil-smelling, sulphurous eggy fart in the tourist-clogged vestibule of Palma cathedral during a mass. Tears of hilarity and disgust all round.

When I worked a shitty, undermining part-time job in a well known major supermarket, I livened up a hectic Bank Holiday Saturday afternoon by breaking into the plant room and throwing as many red switches as I could find. They never found out who did it!

In a branch of Costa in Soho a few years back, I straight-armed the toilet door wide open and barged through in an urgent attempt to reach the loo cubicles before my arse erupted. The first thing I saw was a small man flying across the room to hand hands first into the pissy urinals. It was Ian Hislop.

Years back, I went to a country pub for an after-work, pre-Christmas drink with some work friends. The place was packed with farmery/fox-hunting/tweed fascist types and the queue for the bar was roughly 4 deep. 2 mates joined the queue while 3 of us started to put money in the fruit machine while waiting for our our drinks. Then one of the yokels shouted 'If you aren't buying drinks, fuck off out of here!' at as. So I went back to the queue, grabbed the 2 mates and we all agreed to go. All the farmery types stood and watched us in hostile silence. As soon as we got out into the car park, the chatter resumed inside the pub. I turned and went back to the pub and started unscrewing all the light bulbs from the Christmas lights that were strung up around the doorway and threw them into the road. Then came the smashing sounds. 3 of my workmates had decided to kick the fuck out of every Land Rover or yokel-related vehicle in sight. We then got on our respective bikes and pedalled like fuck in different directions with our lights off.

Pressed the emergency stop button on an escalator full of people at the NEC. It looked like a fleshy version of Domino Rally.

Set off the fire extinguisher in the dinner queue at school.

Lobbed a full can of Coke at the manufacturing director of a former workplace. he was a bullying, homophobic little cunt so he deserved it.

Flooded the toilets at school by blocking the loos up with paper towels.


Luckily, these days my Mad Thoughts are written down in a 'My Mad Thoughts' book and not acted upon.

[Cerys]

We have a winner.  Or maybe just a cunt.

A wunt.

[madhair60]

On holiday in my early teens, I dropped the most evil-smelling, sulphurous eggy fart in the tourist-clogged vestibule of Palma cathedral during a mass. Tears of hilarity and disgust all round.

When I worked a shitty, undermining part-time job in a well known major supermarket, I livened up a hectic Bank Holiday Saturday afternoon by breaking into the plant room and throwing as many red switches as I could find. They never found out who did it!

In a branch of Costa in Soho a few years back, I straight-armed the toilet door wide open and barged through in an urgent attempt to reach the loo cubicles before my arse erupted. The first thing I saw was a small man flying across the room to hand hands first into the pissy urinals. It was Ian Hislop.

Years back, I went to a country pub for an after-work, pre-Christmas drink with some work friends. The place was packed with farmery/fox-hunting/tweed fascist types and the queue for the bar was roughly 4 deep. 2 mates joined the queue while 3 of us started to put money in the fruit machine while waiting for our our drinks. Then one of the yokels shouted 'If you aren't buying drinks, fuck off out of here!' at as. So I went back to the queue, grabbed the 2 mates and we all agreed to go. All the farmery types stood and watched us in hostile silence. As soon as we got out into the car park, the chatter resumed inside the pub. I turned and went back to the pub and started unscrewing all the light bulbs from the Christmas lights that were strung up around the doorway and threw them into the road. Then came the smashing sounds. 3 of my workmates had decided to kick the fuck out of every Land Rover or yokel-related vehicle in sight. We then got on our respective bikes and pedalled like fuck in different directions with our lights off.

Pressed the emergency stop button on an escalator full of people at the NEC. It looked like a fleshy version of Domino Rally.

Set off the fire extinguisher in the dinner queue at school.

Lobbed a full can of Coke at the manufacturing director of a former workplace. he was a bullying, homophobic little cunt so he deserved it.

Flooded the toilets at school by blocking the loos up with paper towels.


Luckily, these days my Mad Thoughts are written down in a 'My Mad Thoughts' book and not acted upon.

Okay, now again, but eliminate the ones that didn't actually happen.

[thelittlemango]

I ordered the 'Stinky Vincenzo" pizza.

[touchingcloth]

Years back, I went to a country pub for an after-work, pre-Christmas drink with some work friends. The place was packed with farmery/fox-hunting/tweed fascist types and the queue for the bar was roughly 4 deep. 2 mates joined the queue while 3 of us started to put money in the fruit machine while waiting for our our drinks. Then one of the yokels shouted 'If you aren't buying drinks, fuck off out of here!' at as. So I went back to the queue, grabbed the 2 mates and we all agreed to go. All the farmery types stood and watched us in hostile silence. As soon as we got out into the car park, the chatter resumed inside the pub. I turned and went back to the pub and started unscrewing all the light bulbs from the Christmas lights that were strung up around the doorway and threw them into the road. Then came the smashing sounds. 3 of my workmates had decided to kick the fuck out of every Land Rover or yokel-related vehicle in sight. We then got on our respective bikes and pedalled like fuck in different directions with our lights off.

This is much tamer, and not really a bad thing, but when I was about 11 I was cycling through the local park which also had a crown green bowling club thing. On this day it was rammed with a load of white haired people having some kind of match or social event, and the yen just took me to cycle width-wise across all of the green, skidding my bike egregiously as I went churning up big divots along the way, and on the final green kicking the huddle of balls at the end.

I pedalled off to the jeers of the elderly and laughed all the way home. WHAT A RUSH

[Cuellar]

That's much WORSE

[Puce Moment]

It's quite heart-warming that your 'worst things' can even be posted on here without the threat of being arrested hanging over you.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

On holiday in my early teens, I dropped the most evil-smelling, sulphurous eggy fart in the tourist-clogged vestibule of Palma cathedral during a mass. Tears of hilarity and disgust all round.

When I worked a shitty, undermining part-time job in a well known major supermarket, I livened up a hectic Bank Holiday Saturday afternoon by breaking into the plant room and throwing as many red switches as I could find. They never found out who did it!

In a branch of Costa in Soho a few years back, I straight-armed the toilet door wide open and barged through in an urgent attempt to reach the loo cubicles before my arse erupted. The first thing I saw was a small man flying across the room to hand hands first into the pissy urinals. It was Ian Hislop.

Years back, I went to a country pub for an after-work, pre-Christmas drink with some work friends. The place was packed with farmery/fox-hunting/tweed fascist types and the queue for the bar was roughly 4 deep. 2 mates joined the queue while 3 of us started to put money in the fruit machine while waiting for our our drinks. Then one of the yokels shouted 'If you aren't buying drinks, fuck off out of here!' at as. So I went back to the queue, grabbed the 2 mates and we all agreed to go. All the farmery types stood and watched us in hostile silence. As soon as we got out into the car park, the chatter resumed inside the pub. I turned and went back to the pub and started unscrewing all the light bulbs from the Christmas lights that were strung up around the doorway and threw them into the road. Then came the smashing sounds. 3 of my workmates had decided to kick the fuck out of every Land Rover or yokel-related vehicle in sight. We then got on our respective bikes and pedalled like fuck in different directions with our lights off.

Pressed the emergency stop button on an escalator full of people at the NEC. It looked like a fleshy version of Domino Rally.

Set off the fire extinguisher in the dinner queue at school.

Lobbed a full can of Coke at the manufacturing director of a former workplace. he was a bullying, homophobic little cunt so he deserved it.

Flooded the toilets at school by blocking the loos up with paper towels.


Luckily, these days my Mad Thoughts are written down in a 'My Mad Thoughts' book and not acted upon.

B3TA/ These things definitely happened / B3TA

[sponk]

Sat by idly and unappreciative as the love of the my life passed me by and moved on.

[checkoutgirl]

It's quite heart-warming that your 'worst things' can even be posted on here without the threat of being arrested hanging over you.

That's my point, any incriminating stuff would be self censored. Having said that...

I broke a load of toilets with Gavin in an abandoned house when I was about 6 or 7 years old. Also found a house key of an empty house and went in and had a look around when I was a similar age. Robbed some milking machine type equipment around the same age, also with Gavin. You made your own fun in the 80s, there was no broadband.

Somehow got into a house near where I lived when I was about 16 and we had a smoke in there, there was about 5 of us and one of the rougher lads had a slash in a cupboard which I found a bit much.

Whacked Phillip Murphy on the back with a broom handle when I was about 13, he ran off screaming.

Robbed a few CDs when I was 18. Robbed a few shirts when I was 25. Got caught for both eventually.

Used to light fires as a young teenager but usually controlled and never anyone's house or anything like that.

Mildly bullied a girl for a few weeks when I was around 15 by shouting general stuff in her direction. Never used her name but she might have felt a bit victimised. Still feel bad about that one 25 years later.

When I was 18 I used to get a day return on the train and another one for the opposite journey and saved a few bob for myself over the course of a month. You couldn't do that nowadays with the barriers everywhere.

Other than that just the usual underage drinking, smoking and a stint of aerosols/petrol inhaling when I was about 15.

[checkoutgirl]

Sat by idly and unappreciative as the love of the my life passed me by and moved on.

Fuck, I could write a small chapter about the women I've ignored or failed to pick up signals on and then years later it would dawn on me. Best not to think about it.

[sponk]

Fuck, I could write a small chapter about the women I've ignored or failed to pick up signals on and then years later it would dawn on me. Best not to think about it.

Just happened, or at least dawned on me today. And it's probs the worst I've felt in years. I'm sure I'll reach the not thinking about it stage in a few years or when I'm dead.

[Cardenio I]

suked of my dad