Author Topic: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]  (Read 3201 times)

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #90 on: September 11, 2019, 01:54:31 PM »
I'm sure I'll reach the not thinking about it stage in a few years or when I'm dead.

I was too bloody minded and stupid to realise half this shit until years later. The first 30 years of my life were a barren wasteland of broken promises and missed loves/sexes. But again, best not to think about it if you possibly can. There's just no point. Best just busy yourself looking for pleasure and amusement in the present moment.

If there's on thing I'm grateful is that on a day to day level I don't appear to be overly preoccupied with missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential. Which is just as well because if you listened to my primary school teachers I easily had the brains to be a doctor or some sort of clever scientist while in my current job I have to look up to middle management.

I wouldn't even rate missed love as a bad thing I done. It's a bad thing I didn't done. If we start counting up all the shit I should have done but couldn't be arsed doing and counting that as bad shit I did then fuck me we'll be here until Christmas totting up that shit. Fuck that.

JesusAndYourBush

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #91 on: September 11, 2019, 02:01:23 PM »
When I was 18 I used to get a day return on the train and another one for the opposite journey and saved a few bob for myself over the course of a month.

Me no comprende. Surely a day return is for both halves of the journey? Buying another one for the return part of the journey would mean you were paying twice as much as you should.

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #92 on: September 11, 2019, 02:12:13 PM »
I was once having the tearful break-up conversation in the pub with a girlfriend when one of the barmen came up and asked us if we wanted to be in the quiz. "Come on, it's only a quid; all for charity". I said OK in order to get rid of him, but obv. once the questions started my attention began to wander. She was crying while I was filling in the answers. In the end she pissed off in tears, I stayed and went on to win the fucker. Eight free pints mate.

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #93 on: September 11, 2019, 04:51:18 PM »
Me no comprende. Surely a day return is for both halves of the journey? Buying another one for the return part of the journey would mean you were paying twice as much as you should.

The ticket was for a journey up once and back once any time within the month and I'd be going back and forth 20 times in the month so should have bought a full month ticket. It was over 20 years ago so I can't fully remember the scam. Suffice it to say I wasn't paying full whack for months on end which is bad, in Ireland. In England I would see it almost as a civic duty to rip off the train companies. But that's another story.

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #94 on: September 11, 2019, 07:34:15 PM »
Did she also have a brain tumour?  Or a secret pregnancy?  I think we should be told.

Not that I know of.

As to how these things happen, being drunk, being promiscuous {both of us}, and as I was leaving the job and the country knowing that we would never likely see each other again. Oh and his wife had been rude to me earlier in the work
They are still together, whether she knows what her husband is like I can't say as we didn't stay in touch but we do have mutual friends and every so often their names crop up on Facebook as people you may know. I have never had the guts to add them as friends to see what happens.

Cuellar

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #95 on: September 11, 2019, 11:00:30 PM »
Blimey.. the things that go on

touchingcloth

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #96 on: September 11, 2019, 11:09:06 PM »
The ticket was for a journey up once and back once any time within the month and I'd be going back and forth 20 times in the month so should have bought a full month ticket. It was over 20 years ago so I can't fully remember the scam. Suffice it to say I wasn't paying full whack for months on end which is bad, in Ireland. In England I would see it almost as a civic duty to rip off the train companies. But that's another story.

I stayed with my parents in Cheshire for a few weeks earlier in the year and commuted into Manchester on the train.

Their local station didn't have a barrier, and the guards on the trains both ways were shite. I could see which carriage the conductor was in and jump on the train as far from them as possible, then keep half an ear out for them entering my carriage so I could quickly buy a return online from the last stop to Manchester, unless they missed me entirely and I could buy one from the final station before so I could get through the barriers.

Same ploy on the way home but entering the carriage nearest to the conductor first.

Beat that.

Ronalado

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #97 on: September 12, 2019, 06:51:21 AM »
ROnALANDO work in Manchester, live in swetinham, party all the time in CRANAGE? YOU know this?

Ronalado

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #98 on: September 12, 2019, 06:52:08 AM »
for sure a crazy party

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #99 on: September 12, 2019, 11:57:30 PM »
ROnALANDO work in Manchester, live in swetinham, party all the time in CRANAGE? YOU know this?

Who spells their own name wrong? Are you really Ronalado?

H-O-W-L

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #100 on: September 13, 2019, 04:32:23 AM »
One time I threw a tin of spuds over the back fence of my old house and into the allotment just because I was a bored and dumb shit-nose little kid. Nobody knew but I feel like a cunt for doing it.

Also, me stepdad was self-employed in construction and used to have lots of offcut timber and glass panes and spare breezeblocks and shit. Used to wail on stuff like blocks and tires and glass panes with a lump hammer. Hurt myself a few times doing it but it was fucking great. He didn't give two shits because he wasn't planning anything specific with what he got, it was just odds and ends. Did fuck him off when I accidentally (genuinely accidentally) winged my hammer into a plate of security glass though.

touchingcloth

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #101 on: September 13, 2019, 09:27:24 AM »
Not the worst thing but one of the best things I did as a kid was when I was aged about 13.

We were having a kickaround in the local park, and at some point the ball - one of those cheap thin ones which goes "ping!" when you kick it ended up in someone's drive. The owner of the house was a known curtain-twitching malcontent, but it still took us by surprise when he suddenly scurried out of the house, picked up the ball and scurried back in.

I was nominated as the person who would go and ask for our ball back, so I rang his doorbell and received no answer. After a few more rings he appeared ruddy-faced at the door and barked "WHAT?", so I asked in my sweetest voice whether we could possibly have our ball back. "NO I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE OUT PLAYING BALL ON A SATURDAY NOW JUST GO HOME" he said, and slammed the door. A few more ignored rings on his bell before he came to the door again even more incensed: "STOP RINGING MY DOOR JUST GO HOME I AM TRYING TO ENJOY MY SATURDAY"

"OK, we will go home, but we'd like out ball back first, please"

"YOUR BALL BACK NO YOU ARE NOT HAVING YOUR BALL BACK I HAVE POPPED IT"

Another slam. More ignored rings and then the doorbell stopped working, presumably because he'd unhooked it. I improvised and started knocking again. This time he was even more furious and shouted at me to leave his property and - and this is the bit I remember most clearly - shouting across the road to a neighbour who was hosing down his car: "ALAN! ALAN! CAN YOU COME AND WITNESS THIS, ALAN? THESE YOUTHS ARE NOT LEAVING MY PROPERTY". I was the only youth on his property, and Alan calmly carried on hosing down his car.

I explained that we'd like our ball back because taking it is theft, he reiterated that he'd popped it so I said in that case we'd like some money to buy a new one, and he blew a fucking gasket shouting even more rabidly to ALAN about how the youths were now demanding money from him. He threatened to call the police on us before closing the door and ignoring all further knocks until I got bored and went back to the park, where we had a good laugh about the nutter threatening kids our age with the police.

A good laugh until the police car rolled into the street.

Everyone scarpered down to the woods and river, but something in me decided that the best escape would be climbing the big tree in the park, where I had a good view of the police officer standing at the door of the guy's house and getting the details he needed. The police guy then came to the park and using his finely honed policing skills spotted me up the tree. He asked me to come down, I said why, he said he just wanted to talk to me, I said I could talk from my perch, he asked me to come down, I restated my offer for an inter-height chat, he said that he was going to climb up to speak with me and if he had to do that he'd arrest me, so I climbed down.

I climbed down onto the opposite side of the fence from the police and he asked me to come over to his side, and the whole thing with my refusals and his insistence replayed itself until he decided I was being a twat, leapt over the fence and read me my rights as he walked me to his car.

He drove me back home and sat me down with my mortified mum and asked for my side of the story, which is all of the above. He jotted it all down and agreed that taking our ball was not on, but also neither was criminal damage and we'd have to do something about that.

This was the first I'd heard of criminal damage, so my mum asked furiously what I had done and I referred her to the police man. Go on, officer, tell us more. The guy had told him that not content with ringing his bell I had started kicking his door manically, damaging it visibly in the process. I said I'd like to see this damage because it was news to me, so the police drove me and my mum back to the guy's house and got him out to show us the damage.

He showed us quite a vicious dent in his aluminium-clad door, but it was no bigger than the head of a nail and quite steeply sided so it looked like it had been caused by a hammer or a screwdriver or something else striking it, and really quite obviously not something that could be done with a foot. That's without even taking into account the fact that the dent was above the height of my head.

At that point the policeman had had enough for the second time of the morning, and he ripped up the notes he'd been writing about me, cautioned the guy against wasting police time like that in the future, and advised him to give us our ball back and if he really had popped it to count himself lucky that he couldn't be arsed to do anything with the information.

I became a hero to the other kids when they heard about my time in a police car, and I attribute to this experience my subsequent life of crime.

Alan is hosing down his car to this day.

gib

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #102 on: September 13, 2019, 09:41:43 AM »
Had he popped it?

touchingcloth

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #103 on: September 13, 2019, 09:54:32 AM »
Had he popped it?

To this day I don't know. I'd go back and check, but he's probably buried with it now.

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #104 on: September 13, 2019, 12:38:31 PM »

Accidentally backed a car through my roll-up garage door at work yesterday. Had done brake pads on it the previous afternoon, first thing in the morning I let it down off the lift and needed to back it up a few feet so the door would open all the way so I could get the driver seat out (left seat in my part of the world so you are properly oriented). Combination of cold engine high idle and brake pads fully retracted from the replacement and I had alarming speed in reverse and no braking function. Fucked the door outside of the frame about 3 feet and blew out 2 windows. Car not hurt too badly due to already being fucked by teen driver.

Not fired, may have to buy new door.


gib

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #105 on: September 13, 2019, 01:05:59 PM »
To this day I don't know. I'd go back and check, but he's probably buried with it now.

So you didn't get the ball back and you didn't get any compo. The police officer wasn't exactly dishing out justice then, was he?

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #106 on: September 13, 2019, 01:08:16 PM »
I got my bum out once

touchingcloth

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #107 on: September 13, 2019, 03:04:57 PM »
So you didn't get the ball back and you didn't get any compo. The police officer wasn't exactly dishing out justice then, was he?

It was worth it to see the cunt's face. It wasn't my ball, and my main motivation in knocking on the guy's door was because I knew it would annoy the fuck out of him but also that I would be the one in the right. I wasn't the type for playing knock and run or any of that sort of thing, but if someone gave me the smallest excuse to be cheeky, boy would I be all over that opportunity like an old cunt on an errant football.

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #108 on: September 13, 2019, 03:21:01 PM »
Probably falsely and for no particular need, insisting to a lad I didn't like that he borrowed ten squid off me when he was drunk on a work night out and had to pay it back right now, and it worked, but he was quite quite objectionable so I see it as a tax for me having to work with him

(most of my mean stories involve some kind of THEY DESERVED IT  justification, as used popularly by politicians, and rapists)

Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #109 on: September 15, 2019, 02:19:45 PM »
Accidentally backed a car through my roll-up garage door at work yesterday. Had done brake pads on it the previous afternoon, first thing in the morning I let it down off the lift and needed to back it up a few feet so the door would open all the way so I could get the driver seat out (left seat in my part of the world so you are properly oriented). Combination of cold engine high idle and brake pads fully retracted from the replacement and I had alarming speed in reverse and no braking function. Fucked the door outside of the frame about 3 feet and blew out 2 windows. Car not hurt too badly due to already being fucked by teen driver.

Not fired, may have to buy new door.

That's an accident, not a bad thing.

a duncandisorderly

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Re: Worst thing you ever did [split topic]
« Reply #110 on: September 16, 2019, 08:28:54 PM »
I was once having the tearful break-up conversation in the pub with a girlfriend when one of the barmen came up and asked us if we wanted to be in the quiz. "Come on, it's only a quid; all for charity". I said OK in order to get rid of him, but obv. once the questions started my attention began to wander. She was crying while I was filling in the answers. In the end she pissed off in tears, I stayed and went on to win the fucker. Eight free pints mate.

this is fucking magnificent.

ROnALANDO work in Manchester, live in swetinham, party all the time in CRANAGE? YOU know this?

yes, you've told us before. something about drink-driving with your mate paul scholes or something.....

fur sure antony GELLING invite RONALADO as man of the people. is not OK to drive JEEP after many SUPER BOCK so antony and cristaaaaaanoooooooooo ride a BMX.