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shit food you can't get now

Started by madhair60, September 09, 2019, 12:07:42 PM

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Pseudopath

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on September 10, 2019, 10:34:22 PM
Treated myself to some of these recently, can still get them though.



Mmmmm...Rectal Prolapse.

DangledTeeth

Yankee Burgers - they seemed to be available only in Iceland (the supermarket). I think they were around during the late 90s or early 2000s.

They were microwavable burgers inside a white paper packet, which was used to insulate the micro-heat (or whatever the term is). I think there were four in a box, each came with a sachet or relish.

It appears they can bought online, although probably not as good as they once were.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on September 10, 2019, 10:34:22 PM
Treated myself to some of these recently, can still get them though.



Wondered what the final outcome of the MLP tribute jar was

touchingcloth

My parents used to shop at Hooty's cash & carry in Willenhall:



I have very few memories of the food from there, except they sold a ring-shaped mint called Life Savers which were like Polos, but with a wintergreen flavour that I preferred.

They also sold frozen microwaveable doner kebabs. As I recall each one came in its own cardboard sleeve which contained two sachets. One sachet contained the meat wrapped in a pita, and the other contained a ridiculously red hot sauce, which I remember as being tasty and hot as fuck. There was a window of about a microsecond in which the kebab would be perfectly cooked. Slightly too short and you'd risk food poisoning, slightly too long and your kebab would resemble a cracker in texture. I would like to eat one again.

H-O-W-L

Quote from: touchingcloth on September 11, 2019, 01:04:48 AM

I have very few memories of the food from there, except they sold a ring-shaped mint called Life Savers which were like Polos, but with a wintergreen flavour that I preferred.


Those are American, you can get them in import shops.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: H-O-W-L on September 11, 2019, 06:50:03 AM
Those are American, you can get them in import shops.

If you chew the opaque white mint flavors in the dark, the make dim sparks when they fracture.

boki

Quote from: Twed on September 10, 2019, 05:01:24 PM
If you can find a deal on the Nissin Ra Oh Tonkotsu noodles (especially the premium package with the dried pork) then do not pass up the opportunity.

Woah shit, I had 0.00 idea that Clint has a food channel too.  Instant subscribe.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain


Cuntbeaks

Chicken Balti Fray Bentos

Phileas Fogg Bagel Chips

Cuellar

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on September 11, 2019, 01:07:10 PM
HEINZ FUCKING TINNED PUDDINGS!

Do you mean those things like strawberry sponge that you'd boil in the tin?

Used to have those as pud after a roast and they were my favourite things in the entire world, over and above my family and friends.

Norton Canes

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on September 11, 2019, 01:07:10 PM
HEINZ FUCKING TINNED PUDDINGS!

Oh God yeah, God yeah. Best afters ever. Got to eat whole one do not share.


Quote from: Cuellar on September 11, 2019, 02:17:51 PM
Used to have those as pud after a roast and they were my favourite things in the entire world, over and above my family and friends

Yes, yes, yes.

buzby

Quote from: touchingcloth on September 11, 2019, 01:04:48 AM
They also sold frozen microwaveable doner kebabs. As I recall each one came in its own cardboard sleeve which contained two sachets. One sachet contained the meat wrapped in a pita, and the other contained a ridiculously red hot sauce, which I remember as being tasty and hot as fuck. There was a window of about a microsecond in which the kebab would be perfectly cooked. Slightly too short and you'd risk food poisoning, slightly too long and your kebab would resemble a cracker in texture. I would like to eat one again.
Still available in Iceland and Tesco, at least:

(£3.89, Iceland)

(£2.25, Tesco)

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on September 11, 2019, 01:07:10 PM
HEINZ FUCKING TINNED PUDDINGS!
Killed off in 2015 as consumers had moved on to microwaveable spong puddings in plastic pots instead.

Poobum

I miss Cream and Cheesy Nik Naks, they balanced the toxic pungency of the other flavours.

Chollis

Fuck me I'd forgotten about them. Absolutely vile pal, I'm glad they're dead.

Norton Canes


Cuellar

Surely putting 'microwaveable' on the metal tin is asking for trouble.

The import of these wonderful puddings appearing in this thread has just hit me - they're gone :(

Ferris

Quote from: Cuellar on September 11, 2019, 02:24:44 PM
Surely putting 'microwaveable' on the metal tin is asking for trouble.

Not as much as adding "improved recipe" on the side. That's just taking the piss.

"Remember this? And it was shit? It's better now, give us another try, go on, you know you want to"

Norton Canes

Quote from: Cuellar on September 11, 2019, 02:24:44 PM
The import of these wonderful puddings appearing in this thread has just hit me - they're gone :(

Yeah and all we've got now are those pissy little two-pot steamed puddings, like a pair of pathetic little thimbles holding about a spoon and a half's worth of pudding each.

Is no-one making big tinned steamed puddings any more? If not I feel like setting myself up as the country's only big tinned steamed pudding manufacturer.

imitationleather

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on September 11, 2019, 02:26:58 PM
Not as much as adding "improved recipe" on the side. That's just taking the piss.

"Remember this? And it was shit? It's better now, give us another try, go on, you know you want to"

"Improved recipe" = "We have reduced the salt/sugar content by 90% and made it taste of bland"

Rich Uncle Skeleton

Yeah it makes it sound like you've been fobbed off with a shit version for years despite the new one being terrible, cheaper to make but now more expensive. I assume people read NEW recipe, assume it's going to be wildly different and pass?

imitationleather

I guess after New Coke that way of putting it is not allowed.

buzby

Quote from: Norton Canes on September 11, 2019, 02:27:38 PM
Yeah and all we've got now are those pissy little two-pot steamed puddings, like a pair of pathetic little thimbles holding about a spoon and a half's worth of pudding each.

Is no-one making big tinned steamed puddings any more? If not I feel like setting myself up as the country's only big tinned steamed pudding manufacturer.
You can get family-sized microwave steamed puddings as well as the individual pots too.

Nobody can be arsed boiling a pan to heat a tinned one anymore, and to microwave the Heinz ones you had to take it out of the tin, put it on a plate and put a bowl over it.

Rich Uncle Skeleton

Quote from: imitationleather on September 11, 2019, 02:36:17 PM
I guess after New Coke that way of putting it is not allowed.

Ha yeah exactly. Knew there was some example I couldn't remember

Norton Canes

Quote from: buzby on September 11, 2019, 02:37:07 PM
You can get family-sized microwave steamed puddings as well as the individual pots too

Yes, but I don't want a family-sized one any more than I want a double thimbleful. The tinned ones were just the right size i.e. slightly too much for one portion to be honest but knuckle down and you can soon polish it off. Plus, the fresh ones you get now are just too nice. A Cartmel Sticky Toffee Pudding is very artisanal I'm sure but when I turn out my sponge pudding I want it to look like something I'd use in the bath. 


Quote from: buzby on September 11, 2019, 02:37:07 PM
Nobody can be arsed boiling a pan to heat a tinned one anymore, and to microwave the Heinz ones you had to take it out of the tin, put it on a plate and put a bowl over it

But that was part of the fun. I reckon if anything good is going to come from Brexit it's a huge potential market for big tins of steamed puddings. I've already emailed Dragon's Den.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

I remember moving into a new flat with a couple of mates, and within a couple of days putting a tasty Heinz Strawberry sponge pudding to boil in the traditional saucepan of boiling water on the stove, then nipping round to the pub on the corner for a swift drink. I remember us coming back to the flat shortly thereafter , and hearing an ominous popping sound as we walked up the stairs. The pudding had exploded all over the ceiling and walls, and the smouldering saucepan had settled onto the carpet on the kitchen , burning the impression of a perfect circular hole therein, which our landlord was later not to regard as so perfect. One flatmate saying, not too chuffed, " How long have you been here? One day? ", One girl collapsing in helpless laughter. I always associate this event with the My Bloody Valentine album " Loveless" for some reason.

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Cuellar on September 11, 2019, 02:24:44 PM
Surely putting 'microwaveable' on the metal tin is asking for trouble.

On the subject of cooking cans in unusual ways... one time in the late 70's while at my gran's house I remember she had a joint of meat in a tin, a big tin maybe about the size of a Party 7 but not as tall.  She cooked this tin in the oven, then when it was cooked for the appropriate length of time she placed the tin on the kitchen floor while she pierced it with one of those implements you sometimes got on a bottle opener that pierced a triangular hole in the can.  As she punctured the can a jet of boiling hot liquid spurted out from the can and shot about 3 feet in the air and my gran and my mum both recoiled back from this horror.  How neither of them weren't scalded I'll never know.  I don't know what the correct way of cooking that thing was, but I'm pretty sure they did something wrong!

Twed

Hope she never tried to cook a Fray Bentos

Rich Uncle Skeleton


Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: buzby on September 11, 2019, 02:37:07 PM

Nobody can be arsed boiling a pan to heat a tinned one anymore, and to microwave the Heinz ones you had to take it out of the tin, put it on a plate and put a bowl over it.

Microwave's busy doing the milk for the  Bird's custard.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on September 10, 2019, 10:34:22 PM
Treated myself to some of these recently, can still get them though.



Not shit. That's a premium quality but value in price French dessert.

Suck it up on one then lick up the drippings.