not losing job news

[madhair60]

did two threads while back about losing job, being on You're a Shit Cunt programme (PIP) and given basically eight weeks ultimatum. Anyway as of today I am officially Not on the PIP. I have defeated it because my performance has in fact improved. i thought my CaB friends might like to receive this bit of madhair60 news and i hope it cheers them the way it has cheered me ("somewhat")

[PlanktonSideburns]

Do you still love the job with a passion?

[madhair60]

yeah it's great, spread sheets and that.

[Ronalado]

new job is always possible in growth market of acerbaidjan or cina

[Small Man Big Horse]

Sorry to hear that madhair, I hope you manage to lose your job at some point soon!

[popcorn]

Main thing to remember is that even if you're a bit shit at one job sometimes that doesn't mean you're shit. The last company I worked for I'd give myself 3/10 for. Didn't know what the fuck I was doing, hated everyone, by the end I was just endlessly procrastinating, doing about 1 day's worth of work a week. And yet they still wanted to recontract me. In the end I had to quit just to preserve any self-respect I had, and this came as a surprise to them.

I'd give myself 7/10, 9/10 and 9/10 for my other jobs.

[popcorn]

A mate of mine was promoted to manager recently and was instructed to go and put someone on the You're a Shit Cunt program. He said it was the worst thing of all time. He had to read the the Shit Cunt some sort of legal statement along the lines of "I believe you have cynically exploited this company in order to..." and so on, in person. Outstanding.

[Buelligan]

I'm absolutely overjoyed to hear your news madhair.  Thank you.

Are you intending to remain "improved" or will you backslide?  That's the dilemma.

You could even surprise the fuck out of them and continue on your upward trajectory, improving so much, you eventually take over the whole spreadsheet world.  Imagine how great, magnificently powerful, puissant even, you'd feel then.  And how terribly afraid they would be.

[bgmnts]

I bet he was doing lines in work's bathroom this morning.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Aren't we all on a Performance Improvement Plan when you stop to think of it?

No, no we aren't

[boki]

Does this mean that no-one's getting their desk shat on?

[a duncandisorderly]

are you ever tempted to add sheets to these excel files & put TTTE on them?

[Pingers]

So, are you now one rung down from Shit Cunt or are you off the HR Faecal Perjorative Scale entirely?

[Misspent Boners]

Ive put myself in huge jeopardy thanks to my own textbook but stupid actions. Its a job Ive had my difficulties with anyway, and after two bouts of sickness that happened to both be on sundays and being an hour late one weekend and confiding to the wrong person that Id been out til quite late my probation was extended by 3 months. Those three months ended at the beginning of august and Im still there so Im guessing I passed? No one has actually told me anything.

Things were going awesome and for 4 months I had a meticulous record in both attendance and punctuality, Although still wondering whether I was doing something that Id ultimately feel happy and peaceful doing; its not the kind of job if u want that...recently ive gone off the rails a bit and called in sick a couple weeks ago and again yesterday. I cannot have two pints, I always have to reach a stage where for some reason I get compelled to hurl myself into chaos and destroy everything. Nothing feels like it has enough worth to stop, even a ridiculously loyal and loving girlfriend that I dont deserve and the future that we so easily could build...anyway By the early hours of sunday with about 5 hours until work was due to start Id drank myself stupid, bought and taken two grams of ketamine in the space of 45 minutes, and even more lethally eaten about 12 quetiapine tablets that Ive recently been prescribed. The scary thing is I know if Id had a 100 in reach Id have done them too. I pissed myself which is a new one. Didnt make it to work and its pretty clear why. I came in today and nothing was said and now Im off for the rest of the week, bar a nightshift i picked up today as some lame expression of retribution. So bring on a week of anxiety waiting for a call which could see me fired instantly at worst. It could happen.

My problems with impulsiveness know no bounds. Its always been like this I was lucky my last job were so forgiving. If I do get fired I will just have to accept it and have the strength to move on, I can get another job in this line of work easily enough but I just have to hope that Id be able to access support to help keep me going for the month or two that that might take.

Sorry for such a self absorbed and whiny post, even if no one answers I just felt I needed to articulate everything. I wish that this would be the thing to make me finally think "fuck this you are ruining everything alcohol is not for you" but there have many many "things" and ultimately none of them have done that. Fuck Ive made myself cry now. Everything will be okay

[willy crossit]

Everything will be fine. I've been in similar situations before - was lucky enough to have a VERY lenient boss while I was at my worst with drink/drugs.

I always thought something would happen to be 'the thing to make me stop' but it never did. I just more and more remember the days of misery and anxiety that follow a big night and in most cases it just isn't worth it anymore.

As shit as you feel now it will pass

[Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle]

yeah you're probably still on the come down train so try not to beat yourself up and take good care of yourself for the rest of the week. 

[Buelligan]

Maybe consider stopping drinking and drugs immediately.  Or continuing.  How will each of those two paths go for you?  Think about what you need to do or have, to make an active choice and make that fully informed voluntary choice, that's my advice.

[Janie Jones]

I always thought something would happen to be 'the thing to make me stop' but it never did.

Wow, sorry we're taking this off topic but that struck such a chord with me as I'm in the middle of helping to organise a funeral for a friend who was waiting for the thing to make him stop. His heart did it in the end but it didn't just stop the drinking, it stopped the whole 'being alive' business, too.

[Misspent Boners]

Thanks for the replies and words of empathy enthusiasm. Genuinely means a lot. I don't really know what Im doing at the moment and feel pretty rubbish for posting in a thread that had positive foundations so am apprehensive to post anything else...congratulations MadHair; its a wonderful feeling to know that you can overcome something and come out victorious the other end

I will say that this is a deep rooted pattern of behaviour for me; and the two paths that I can choose to take are very familiar. Sadly usually I'll do it for like 3 months when things get particularly precarious (like they could do now) and then when everythings roses the drink and ketamine sink back in. I was doing between 4 to 6 grams of ketamine a week up til about 3 weeks ago. Since then Ive only been getting it once drunk enough to lose any care or concern about anything at all. Again it was just a burning impulse...a button that I couldnt stop pressing and a profound feeling that made me think it related to me more than existence not on it...until ultimately it meant more to me than anything else. I love the deep places ketamine takes me deeply, and that will never change, but at what cost like?

What I need is help; external help and like you said to make these 2 paths real and a good mantra would be that even if sober life has its difficult and MUNDANE moments it is better than slowly losing everything or dying or ending up in jail.

[Shit Good Nose]

Boners - start a new thread.

Please don't take that the wrong way - it's not said in a "oi - fuck off out of this unrelated thread" fashion, more that I think your current situation deserves, and would probably be better served by a thread of its own.  Other peeps here will have experience and sage advice, but some of them might not come into this thread and therefore might miss learning of your situation.

[Buelligan]

Thanks for the replies and words of empathy enthusiasm. Genuinely means a lot. I don't really know what Im doing at the moment and feel pretty rubbish for posting in a thread that had positive foundations so am apprehensive to post anything else...congratulations MadHair; its a wonderful feeling to know that you can overcome something and come out victorious the other end

I will say that this is a deep rooted pattern of behaviour for me; and the two paths that I can choose to take are very familiar. Sadly usually I'll do it for like 3 months when things get particularly precarious (like they could do now) and then when everythings roses the drink and ketamine sink back in. I was doing between 4 to 6 grams of ketamine a week up til about 3 weeks ago. Since then Ive only been getting it once drunk enough to lose any care or concern about anything at all. Again it was just a burning impulse...a button that I couldnt stop pressing and a profound feeling that made me think it related to me more than existence not on it...until ultimately it meant more to me than anything else. I love the deep places ketamine takes me deeply, and that will never change, but at what cost like?

What I need is help; external help and like you said to make these 2 paths real and a good mantra would be that even if sober life has its difficult and MUNDANE moments it is better than slowly losing everything or dying or ending up in jail.

I urge you to think and act, not prevaricate because prevarication's probably why you always return to here.

I was a considerable drinker, I think that's fair and I loved my tabs, I really loved them.  I honestly could not imagine myself, me, an adult amazing person, being me or having any sort of life that was good or even anything to do with me, that did not involve drinking and smoking, it was just impossible.  Like a wasteland.

I now haven't drunk or smoked for a long, long time and I only wish I'd done it sooner.

Take control.

[willy crossit]

Very sorry to hear Janie. Hope it all goes ok

[willy crossit]

And well done madhair of course

[Misspent Boners]

Boners - start a new thread.

Please don't take that the wrong way - it's not said in a "oi - fuck off out of this unrelated thread" fashion, more that I think your current situation deserves, and would probably be better served by a thread of its own.  Other peeps here will have experience and sage advice, but some of them might not come into this thread and therefore might miss learning of your situation.

I completely agree; and to reiterate feel shit about spewing my negativity into what is quite rightly an awesome and well deserved moment for madhair. I think the title just resonated with these raw and very painful feelings I am feeling atm. Im going to leave it there; Ill start a new thread if I  feel up to it. Much thanks to everyone again and sorry to hear that new Janie Jones, my heart goes out to you

It is moments like this where I wonder if i shouldve picked a better username.

[Shit Good Nose]

I completely agree; and to reiterate feel shit about spewing my negativity into what is quite rightly an awesome and well deserved moment for madhair. I think the title just resonated with these raw and very painful feelings I am feeling atm. Im going to leave it there; Ill start a new thread if I  feel up to it. Much thanks to everyone again and sorry to hear that new Janie Jones, my heart goes out to you

It is moments like this where I wonder if i shouldve picked a better username.

Don't feel shit, and I don't think for one second madhair (nor anyone else) will begrudge you.  Please do start a thread if you can - don't bottle it up.

Username's fine, by the way.


Sympathies to Janie, congrats to madhair.

[bgmnts]

Is wanking in work worse than getting done for drugs?

[earl_sleek]

Ive put myself in huge jeopardy thanks to my own textbook but stupid actions. Its a job Ive had my difficulties with anyway, and after two bouts of sickness that happened to both be on sundays and being an hour late one weekend and confiding to the wrong person that Id been out til quite late my probation was extended by 3 months. Those three months ended at the beginning of august and Im still there so Im guessing I passed? No one has actually told me anything.

Yes, you've completed your probationary period by default, though I would contact your HR dept and get them to confirm that in writing to be sure.

Does your work have an Employee Assistance Program or something similar? If they do it might be able to help with the stuff you've got going on?

Best wishes.

[Bazooka]

Is wanking in work worse than getting done for drugs?

I've only been convicted for doing the same two things at the same time, however it was overtime.

[imitationleather]

Is wanking in work worse than getting done for drugs?

Er, definitely not.

Wanking in work is pleasant and passes the time while getting done for drugs is embarrassing and leads to unemployment.

[a duncandisorderly]

Is wanking in work worse than getting done for drugs?

are you doing it in a louis ck kind of a way, or sequestering yourself in the disabled chanty & doing it privately? the wanking, this is.