Author Topic: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!  (Read 1452 times)

chveik

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #30 on: September 10, 2019, 11:13:21 PM »
never. what's it about?

Shit Good Nose

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #31 on: September 10, 2019, 11:17:02 PM »
Mind you, I'd love to see the aborted early footage of the Kintner attack. All we have are these storyboards and this alarming photograph.

And some super 8 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1JUMP0j5kA

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #33 on: September 11, 2019, 01:05:47 AM »

Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #34 on: September 11, 2019, 03:36:31 AM »
jaws is one of those films id like to just see as much raw footage as possible of. similar to the fire walk with me and blue velvet highlights. as much as you can fucking get on a disc.

Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #35 on: September 11, 2019, 06:51:40 AM »
Sharks are amazing, like modern dinos. Zero regard, infinite death dealers. Jaws is the best paced movie ever made besides Bugsy Malone.

Bad Ambassador

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #36 on: September 11, 2019, 10:14:16 AM »
Mate.

Can I help you?

Another vote for The Revenge being far better than III. It's got Michael Caine going "oh, shit!" as the shark bears down on him. Later, the shark rears up out of the sea, which sharks can't do, and roars, which sharks also can't do. A small model is then pierced by a matchstick.

Cuellar

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #37 on: September 11, 2019, 10:17:38 AM »
Never seen it, never want to. Stupid premise.

"Big shark in the water there mate, eating people so it is"
"Oh righto, won't go into the sea then, considering it's an absolutely non-essential activity that will cause me no harm NOT to do until the danger is passed"
"Makes sense to me!"

THE END (would have put FIN but then it would have sounded like a shit pun)

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #38 on: September 11, 2019, 10:41:11 AM »
Never seen it, never want to. Stupid premise.

"Big shark in the water there mate, eating people so it is"
"Oh righto, won't go into the sea then, considering it's an absolutely non-essential activity that will cause me no harm NOT to do until the danger is passed"
"Makes sense to me!"

THE END (would have put FIN but then it would have sounded like a shit pun)

I think we've got a new Turing test.

Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #39 on: September 11, 2019, 12:38:32 PM »
Can I help you?

Another vote for The Revenge being far better than III. It's got Michael Caine going "oh, shit!" as the shark bears down on him. Later, the shark rears up out of the sea, which sharks can't do, and roars, which sharks also can't do. A small model is then pierced by a matchstick.

His shirt dries miraculously iirc.

Hoagie supercut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KH-raFggUw

Bad Ambassador

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #40 on: September 11, 2019, 01:01:31 PM »
His shirt dries miraculously iirc.

Hoagie supercut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KH-raFggUw

In retrospect, his "oh, shit!" should have Simon Greenall dubbed over it.

Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #41 on: September 11, 2019, 01:03:25 PM »
Never seen it, never want to. Stupid premise.

"Big shark in the water there mate, eating people so it is"
"Oh righto, won't go into the sea then, considering it's an absolutely non-essential activity that will cause me no harm NOT to do until the danger is passed"
"Makes sense to me!"

THE END (would have put FIN but then it would have sounded like a shit pun)

Do you have a similar disregard for airplane food?

Cuellar

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #42 on: September 11, 2019, 01:05:20 PM »
I actually enjoy it and always have. Never understood the vitriol.

Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #43 on: September 11, 2019, 01:43:16 PM »
Also, best deleted scene ever

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfX1MkMazwc

Dex Sawash

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #44 on: September 11, 2019, 01:46:17 PM »

"Oh righto, won't go into the sea then, considering it's an absolutely non-essential activity that will cause me no harm NOT to do until the danger is passed"




Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #45 on: September 11, 2019, 02:45:14 PM »
Films from the IMDb's top 100 I haven't seen (with Bollywood films omitted and the next films 100+ added in to compensate):

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Harakiri, Modern Times, The Intouchables, City Lights, Once Upon a Time in the West, Cinema Paradiso, Princess Mononoke, Witness for the Prosecution, Your Name., Braveheart, M, The Hunt, The Kid, For a Few Dollars More, A Separation, Ikiru and Incendies.

Films from the all-time US top 100 adjusted for inflation I haven't seen:

The Ten Commandments, Love Story, Cleopatra, The Robe, The Bells of St. Mary's, My Fair Lady, The Greatest Show on Earth, The Lion King (2019), The Best Years of Our Lives and Swiss Family Robinson.

Films from the all-time global top 100 I haven't seen:

The Lion King (2019), The Fate of the Furious, Aquaman, Aladdin (2019), Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, Ice Age: Continental Drift, The Secret Life of Pets, Wolf Warrior 2, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 and Maleficent.

I started doing this, then gave up when I found that, out of the IMDb's top 100, I've only seen 26. It appears I could just go and live in the 'massive cultural voids' thread.

alan nagsworth

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #46 on: September 11, 2019, 07:43:19 PM »
Jaws? More like Snores.

Puce Moment

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #47 on: September 11, 2019, 08:09:55 PM »
Jaws? More like Snores.

Clean yer fucking ears out and you might enjoy it!

Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #48 on: September 11, 2019, 09:00:20 PM »
Also, best deleted scene ever

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfX1MkMazwc

Ha ha! Never seen that before. Glorious!

I've never seen Top Gun. I wear this as a badge of honour.

Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #49 on: September 11, 2019, 09:06:04 PM »
I've not seen Top Gun either, but what seems to upset people more is I haven't seen Leon/

Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #50 on: September 11, 2019, 10:37:23 PM »
jaws 3 has the bit where theyre in a restaurant and the mother swims past slowly out of the dark into the view of the pople PLUS the idea of being trapped in an underwater park with a shark and 80s craftsmanship holding it all up is horrible and worse than bing chased by some big roaring thing that somehow spits Mario Van Peebles out

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #51 on: September 11, 2019, 10:54:03 PM »
jaws 3 has the bit where theyre in a restaurant and the mother swims past slowly out of the dark into the view of the pople PLUS the idea of being trapped in an underwater park with a shark and 80s craftsmanship holding it all up is horrible and worse than bing chased by some big roaring thing that somehow spits Mario Van Peebles out

A great white shark invading an '80s underwater theme park is a brilliant idea in theory, but the execution is lousy. I watched it again recently and it doesn't even work as a fun, trashy B-Movie, whereas Jaws: The Revenge - a Z-Movie if ever there was one - is an enjoyable heap of laughably ill-conceived shite.

I'm not a big fan of the "so bad it's good" school of thought, but Jaws: TR really does live up to its notoriety. It's funny because everyone - with the glaring exception of Caine - appears to be taking it seriously.

kalowski

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #52 on: September 11, 2019, 10:55:58 PM »
If you'd have asked me a few years ago I'd have said that Jaws 2 was pretty good. But I got to see it again recently and it was utterly shit.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #53 on: September 11, 2019, 10:57:52 PM »
If you'd have asked me a few years ago I'd have said that Jaws 2 was pretty good. But I got to see it again recently and it was utterly shit.

It's still a more competently made film than the subsequent sequels. That's not saying much, I know.

Jaws 2 does contain one great moment, though. An actual proper jump scare. You know the bit I mean.

Replies From View

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #54 on: September 12, 2019, 07:03:59 AM »
Really can’t see the appeal of this film.  It’s just a grey bald bloke in a swimming pool.

AsparagusTrevor

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #55 on: September 12, 2019, 10:20:27 AM »
Jaws 4 The Revenge of Jaws is astounding, it's a much better so-bad-it's-good film than something like The Room. There are many hilarious things... Ellen Brody having flashbacks to things she wasn't present for, the fact she moves to the predominantly coastal Bahamas to escape her fear of the water. The waves splashing against the sky at the end. The visible mechanisms of the shark. The opening scene is genuinely chilling though.

I was always familiar with the version they showed on the BBC featuring what I found out was the alternate ending, which had the better shark-death and no regurgitated Van Peebles. When I saw what is the official ending on DVD, the inexplicable bathtub toy explosion one, I couldn't believe they chose that one as canon.

Jaws 3 only works in its headache-inducing 3D version, a good old-fashioned, throw everything at the screen spectacle. It's almost unwatchable otherwise.

Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #56 on: September 12, 2019, 10:39:31 AM »
A great white shark invading an '80s underwater theme park is a brilliant idea in theory, but the execution is lousy. I watched it again recently and it doesn't even work as a fun, trashy B-Movie, whereas Jaws: The Revenge - a Z-Movie if ever there was one - is an enjoyable heap of laughably ill-conceived shite.

I'm not a big fan of the "so bad it's good" school of thought, but Jaws: TR really does live up to its notoriety. It's funny because everyone - with the glaring exception of Caine - appears to be taking it seriously.

Jaws 3 was originally meant to be a comedy, and then more comedic in tone but they settled for the bulimic shark and po-faced nonsense.

but then again, you do have P. H. Moriarty in a vest top.


Bad Ambassador

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #57 on: September 12, 2019, 11:37:37 AM »
More fun Jawsfacts:

In the novelisation, it's revealed what Hoagie does for a living - he's a CIA contractor. No furhter explanation.

Also, the shark is taking revenge, not because the Brodys killed its family, but because it's controlled by an angry voodoo witch doctor.

As mentioned, Jaws III was going to be a comedy. Jaws 3, People 0 was written by John Hughes, but Spielberg objected and the script was dropped.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #58 on: September 12, 2019, 12:26:58 PM »
Jaws 2 does contain one great moment, though. An actual proper jump scare. You know the bit I mean.

It also, of course, has one of the greatest taglines of all time.

Bad Ambassador

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Re: You have never seen Jaws?!!!!!!
« Reply #59 on: September 12, 2019, 12:32:54 PM »
As does JtR.