Snoring

[Cerys]

Got a friend kipping on our sofa.  Said friend has been snoring like a dedicated brontosaurus for the last four hours.  Would murdering him be a fair response?

[Bazooka]

Absolutely love snoring, one of the few pleasures you can enjoy these days without being thrown in the slammer.

[Cerys]

You disgust me.

[Attila]

Got a friend kipping on our sofa.  Said friend has been snoring like a dedicated brontosaurus for the last four hours.  Would murdering him be a fair response?

I wouldn't convict you if I were on that jury.

Mr Attila's snoring has ensured that I never get a full night's sleep at his house, ever. I've learned to get to sleep/sleep with my fingers pressed against my ears (which just muffles it). There is no spare bedroom, and since I go to bed around 9 on 'school nights' and he doesn't come to bed until anywhere between midnight and 4am, I can't sleep on the sofa downstairs (since I've got to be up at 5 anyway). It makes life a misery during the semester time, when I'm already stressed out and anxious from work. There have been times where I've just gone and dossed down on what is essentially a hardwood floor to get away from it and get a couple hours' sleep even if it means waking up in pain from being cramped up and sleeping on what is essentially a hardwood floor.

[BlodwynPig]

Its raining its pouring
The old man is snoring
Cerys cane in and bumped his head
And he didnt get up in the morning

[Cerys]

I don't think I'd bump his head.  Pillow over the face, maybe.

He's still snoring.  The hatred has diminished into envy.  Why can't I be asleep?  Oh, yes - that's why.  Brontosaurus impersonations.  Someone hand me a pillow.

[touchingcloth]

I wouldn't convict you if I were on that jury.

Mr Attila's snoring has ensured that I never get a full night's sleep at his house, ever. I've learned to get to sleep/sleep with my fingers pressed against my ears (which just muffles it). There is no spare bedroom, and since I go to bed around 9 on 'school nights' and he doesn't come to bed until anywhere between midnight and 4am, I can't sleep on the sofa downstairs (since I've got to be up at 5 anyway). It makes life a misery during the semester time, when I'm already stressed out and anxious from work. There have been times where I've just gone and dossed down on what is essentially a hardwood floor to get away from it and get a couple hours' sleep even if it means waking up in pain from being cramped up and sleeping on what is essentially a hardwood floor.

Why can't he sleep on the sofa and then roll into bed at 5?

[timebug]

Used to go camping and climbing with a bunch of mates. One, lets call him Tony, was such a snorer, that when he had pitched his tent, we all fought to pitch ours,as far away from him as possible. He once slept inside a transit van (with all the windows and doors closed firmly) that we had travelled in, and in our tents, yards away from him, we could still hear the bugger! Yet his wife insists she sleeps fine, and never hears a thing!

[Cardenio I]

Never used to snore - in fact, I used to sleep all quiet and peaceful, a dormouse in a teapot. Years of booze and fags seem to have savaged that detente. Now I give out great rasping honks, thrashing about, sweating through my bedsheets, shouting at granddad. Dreadful stuff.

[a duncandisorderly]

me & the mrs both snore, so we sleep in separate countries.

[imitationleather]

There is no way I could spend my life with someone who snores. It is a line I just will not cross. Call me a vanilla prude if you want, but there are some things that I find unacceptable in the bedroom.

[SpiderChrist]

Speaking as someone who snores have been compared to "the death throes of a stegasaurus" i think you should show mercy.

[Cerys]

I did.  The friend in question has now returned home, unaware that his snoring made me consider homicide.  And there was much rejoicing.

[touchingcloth]

Speaking as someone who snores have been compared to "the death throes of a stegasaurus" i think you should show mercy.

I'm in this same category of snorer, and it's horrendous. My partner and I are both light sleepers, and I frequently wake up to her - rightly - being livid with me for snoring. At home it's just about tolerable when we don't have guests because I can take myself off to the sofa or spare room, but it means we can't really do nights away unless I know there is some form of crash place for me away from the bed. I've slept in the car on camping trips a fair number of times. Snoring is a right cunt.

[Kalabi]

You can anti snoring strips that work pretty well, I think the ones that go on the roof of the mouth work the best. At least they did with an ex of mine who snored like a wounded tractor.

[touchingcloth]

You can anti snoring strips that work pretty well, I think the ones that go on the roof of the mouth work the best. At least they did with an ex of mine who snored like a wounded tractor.

They don't work for me unfortunately, I think it comes down to whether you snore in the sinuses of the throat, and I'm more throaty. I've got a gumshield thing which is supposed to stop the snoring, but it's massive and took me about six weeks to actually fall asleep with it in. On the first night I managed to sleep with it in, I woke up to being told I was snoring like fuck.

[mrpupkin]

Why is snoring? Does it serve any purpose other than winding everyone up and making them divorce you? And why weren't all the snorers removed from the gene pool during stone age times because of annoying a leopard

[mrpupkin]

Serious answer...have you tried the wax earplugs from Boots? Those babies are like cement

[Puce Moment]

As a committed chainsaw snorer I have woken up with a loud snort on quite a number of trains. I can always tell by the awkwardness in those around me whether I have been snoring for the last hour or not. Usually, I have.

[Attila]

Why can't he sleep on the sofa and then roll into bed at 5?

Why can't I flap my arms and fly to the moon?

(Serious answer: he's a fairly large guy, and sleeping on the sofa would seriously mess him up all the next day due to joint issues. Now if he went to bed around the same time I did, I'd sleep on the sofa, no problems. But if he comes to bed at his usual time (anywhere from midnight - 2am), that's it, I'm done sleeping the rest of the night, as I can't sleep through the snoring/wouldn't be able to get back to sleep knowing I had to get up again so soon. When he falls asleep on the sofa anyway and comes to bed around 4 or 5am, it can take him over an hour just to 'get ready for bed' -- not good when I really need to get into the bathroom (I take 10 minutes; he can take over an hour. It is an ongoing battle that I am the loser of, and the only resolution would be to move to another house where there would be even a small spare room/second toilet-sink room. That would be a life-changer for me. Not happening, though. So my choices are to suck it up, or move out.)

[touchingcloth]

Treat him to a lovely hammock and potty.

[The Boston Crab]

Orthopaedic pillow.

[Attila]

Treat him to a lovely hammock hammer and potty.

Now there's a plan.

[The Boston Crab]

Open the guy's airways with an orthopaedic pillow and keep him in position with a knee pillow. Also better for his back. Tell him to go to bed earlier, too. No reason to go to bed after midnight especially if it wakes you up. That's just unreasonable.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Then drown him fully

[Attila]

Then drown him fully

I will do this first.

Open the guy's airways with an orthopaedic pillow and keep him in position with a knee pillow. Also better for his back. Tell him to go to bed earlier, too. No reason to go to bed after midnight especially if it wakes you up. That's just unreasonable.

Then this.

[sponk]

Tell him to tape his mouth shut at night. It works.

[checkoutgirl]

I've learned to get to sleep/sleep with my fingers pressed against my ears (which just muffles it).

These are quite good, you can mould them into a long thin thing that goes an inch into your ear. The only problem is waking up on time in the morning as you might not hear the alarm clock. Your husband sounds like an arse by the way. Cock blocking the sofa 'til all hours and then going to bed late and snoring.

[checkoutgirl]

Why is snoring?

I think it's just the soft inner flesh of your throat collapsing inwards with age. It's like asking why we fart.

[The Boston Crab]

Gotta be honest, my spine is like vulcanised rubber these days. Feel amazing, strong and supple. The knee pillow and orthopaedic pillow and some appropriate stretches changed my life.