Author Topic: Is smirking bad for you?  (Read 1003 times)

Jockice

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Is smirking bad for you?
« on: September 11, 2019, 02:14:27 AM »
(Warning! My legendary girlfriend-related post!)

Right, me and her have been together just over five years (although we don't live in the same town) but the last year or so haven't been getting on too brilliantly, culminating in a huge row over the last couple of days, firstly by message and then on the phone, during which she listed all my apparent faults.

A couple of them I can see her problem with and take on board, a couple I think are utter bollocks (especially the one about me being paranoid because she bumped into and is now Facebook friends with an ex. I really couldn't care less about him but she is still convinced that I've been having an affair with an ex of mine I'm platonic friends with). And the thing that actually started the row I still think she was completely out of order over, but I can now see that my reaction was a bit over the top. Although I definitely didn't try to slam her fingers in the car door as she seems to think. I just wanted to go home and had been held up for a long time because of her behaviour, so I slammed the door. As far as I'm aware her hands were nowhere near it.

But the most bizarre is that apparently on the way to a meal out a few weeks ago I accused her of smirking. I genuinely can't remember saying it or in what context it was in but more importantly why it is considered such a terrible thing to do. She mentioned it in her message (with I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT' in capital letters and then came came back to it several times in the conversation. I'm completely puzzled. Does anyone have the slightest? I know men are from Mars and women from Venus or whatever it is but this is genuinely beyond my comprehension.

If you don't can you tell me of any bizarre subject matters for rows between you and your partners or friends. My relationship's on a very shaky peg at the moment so I need a bit of other people's bleakness to cheer me up.

End credits of My Girl by Madness.




Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2019, 02:29:51 AM »
Quote
The saddest part is that you

She sounds mental, bin her.

Jockice

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2019, 02:38:32 AM »
She sounds mental, bin her.

Of course she's mental, she's a woman!

(I once got dumped by another girlfriend whose closing gambit was: "And then I asked if I could move in with you. You said of course I could. Over your dead body." I would swear under oath to this day that no such conversation ever took place. I wish I had said it though. It's quite funny.)

Bennett Brauer

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2019, 02:48:02 AM »
Right, me and her have been

What kind of journalist were you?

Assuming you're not a git: on the face of it, some of this sounds like PMT-style goalpost shifting that you'd normally have to accept, but the fact that you say you've not been getting on too brilliantly over the last year or so doesn't sound good.  Yes, I'm stating the obvious.

Not living together makes proposing a trial separation easier, on paper anyway. Or you might want to bite the bullet and do the "are you happy?" conversation anyway. (I'm guessing you've been putting this off for a while otherwise you wouldn't have started a thread about it.)

Jockice

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2019, 03:19:00 AM »
What kind of journalist were you?

Assuming you're not a git: on the face of it, some of this sounds like PMT-style goalpost shifting that you'd normally have to accept, but the fact that you say you've not been getting on too brilliantly over the last year or so doesn't sound good.  Yes, I'm stating the obvious.

Not living together makes proposing a trial separation easier, on paper anyway. Or you might want to bite the bullet and do the "are you happy?" conversation anyway. (I'm guessing you've been putting this off for a while otherwise you wouldn't have started a thread about it.)

A mediocre one at best.

Actually she is going through the menopause at the moment which apparently isn't fun and has a lot of family stress too (elderly unwell parents, siblings she doesn't get on with, teenage kids, a difficult ex) and work and financial stuff too.

There are times Ii've genuinely thought she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown but then i also thought I'd been genuinely supportive. We haven't been getting on brilliantly but we don't usually have rows either. A bit of unspoken tension but it's certainly been spoken now.

I actually think she's taking stuff out on me because there's nobody else she feels safe doing it to. Whether I'm prepared to put up with it any longer is something that remains to be seen though.

Johnny Yesno

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2019, 05:53:51 AM »
[Tag]Geordie tobacco lobby 'just asking a question, like'[/Tag]

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2019, 06:39:15 AM »
Hears Neil Diamond and Barbara Streisand singing You Don't Bring Me Flowers.

thenoise

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2019, 08:06:19 AM »
Either suck it up, give her a big bunch of flowers, apologise and beg her forgiveness, or just leave her and move on. For God's sake don't waste time and energy trying to prove to her that you're right.

Dr Rock

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2019, 08:10:08 AM »
My last ex accused me of giving her aids. Beat that.

I don't have aids (or any STD ever) and neither does she.

Replies From View

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2019, 08:11:52 AM »
MAH DAD SAYS IF I DRINK DRINK ENOUGH MILK AH GAEN GOOD ENOUGH PLAY FOR ACRINGTON STANLEY


And the answer to the question is no, but smirking does make you go bald, so every cloud an that

Lordofthefiles

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2019, 08:27:34 AM »
"When Did I smirk eh? WHEN?"


touchingcloth

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2019, 08:31:32 AM »
Is smirking bad for you? Let's ask this guy:

And I've just remembered, when I was in the upper sixth there was a small bunch of lads in the fourth year who used to regularly 'tease' me (the usual subjects). One of them lived near me and one day we walked past each other and he smirked at me. Not a mere smile. This was a definite smirk. And I lost it. I grabbed him, rammed him against a wall and smacked him a few times, while warning him and his pals to keep out of my way.

It's definitely bad for you if you're from Hull.

Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2019, 08:31:51 AM »
It’s going nowhere mate.

Jockice

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2019, 08:45:55 AM »
Is smirking bad for you? Let's ask this guy:

It's definitely bad for you if you're from Hull.

Ah yes. Good point. But in this case I didn't ram anyone against a wall. Chance would be a fine thing nowadays.

touchingcloth

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2019, 09:01:52 AM »
Ah yes. Good point. But in this case I didn't ram anyone against a wall. Chance would be a fine thing nowadays.

I couldn't resist. Smirking is a word used rarely on here, so when it appears twice within a week from the same poster...davidBrentLacingFingersTogether.gif

Jockice

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #15 on: September 11, 2019, 09:08:51 AM »
It’s going nowhere mate.

Perhaps. Although she was all lovey-dovey (albeit pissed) before the 'incident' and she did send me a message asking me how I was the following morning. Maybe I shouldn't have replied the way I did but I was still really annoyed. But then she hasn't led my life and I haven't led hers so perhaps - in fact definitely - she didn't understand why I felt that way. Not that I feel guilty (it's not the first time something like that's happened) but I could have phased it better. I hold up my hands to that one, but it took her a couple of days to reply with a lengthy rant about all my apparent crimes and then with the phone call (I rang her. That's pretty rare) we had two hours of the same. About 90% of what she said is bollocks as far as I'm concerned.  I will admit to messing around on my phone when she has friends round (because they talk a lot and I have nothing to say) and the comment about a job  she was thinking of applying for getting in the way (because it was on days when we usually meet) but I later made it clear (about two dozen times) that I wouldn't stop her applying for it if she wanted. She seems determined to hold that one against me.

But the rest, nah. Especially the smirking bit.

Blimey, I'm in a true confessions mood this morning. You'll all be glad to hear that I have to go out shortly.

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #16 on: September 11, 2019, 09:23:35 AM »
I couldn't resist. Smirking is a word used rarely on here, so when it appears twice within a week from the same poster...davidBrentLacingFingersTogether.gif
It's not a big part of my vocabulary either. I think it has appeared in it because I recently read this https://www.mylifeinthemoshofghosts.com/2014/11/08/the-smirks-the-limit-club-west-street-sheffield-thursday-27th-july-1978/ and listened to this. https://open.spotify.com/episode/7CS5gE83qEeHfk2rBL1DB8

Bloody ex-members of Clock DVA, coming over here, ruining our relationships.

Cerys

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #17 on: September 11, 2019, 09:33:49 AM »
If you did actually accuse her of smirking, then the least you can do is let her plekry.

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #18 on: September 11, 2019, 09:41:11 AM »
Is smirking bad for you? Let's ask this guy:

It's definitely bad for you if you're from Hull.

Ps, I'm not from Hull. I've only been there three times in my life. Two of those occasions do fit into my ten worst ever nights out though.

Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #19 on: September 11, 2019, 09:46:32 AM »
My last ex accused me of giving her aids. Beat that.

Last year, I gave my mum hearing aids.

Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #20 on: September 11, 2019, 09:54:24 AM »
Sounds like you're a little bitch

Janie Jones

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #21 on: September 11, 2019, 09:55:27 AM »


Actually she is going through the menopause at the moment which apparently isn't fun and has a lot of family stress too (elderly unwell parents, siblings she doesn't get on with, teenage kids, a difficult ex) and work and financial stuff too.

There are times Ii've genuinely thought she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown...

Blimey, Jockice, that's a fuck of a lot the poor lass has on her plate there. There's not really a lot of loving empathy and desire to support her in what you've written. As thenoise wisely wrote, proving you're RIGHT isn't really going to help

I don't want to get into a debate about the menopause which is a natural process (personally, I loved it, it was like being on drugs) but there's no doubt some women have a bad time of it.  If you're, for example, gaining unwanted weight and bleeding like a stuck pig and not sleeping and snapping at anyone who crosses your path, you just want someone there at the end of a bad day (when you've had it up to here with your stroppy teens or your ailing parents or your challenging work) to make your supper and enfold you in their arms and tell you everything is going to be alright. So hacking across to a boyfriend in another town, someone who hardly ever rings and fiddles with his phone like a wordless teenager when your friends are round, and thinks 90% of what you say is bollocks, well I think the several people above who've said it's going nowhere, are right. Ending the relationship as kindly as possible now will mean she has one less thing to worry about.

Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #22 on: September 11, 2019, 10:15:49 AM »
Not the main purpose of this thread I know, but I have been accused of smirking in the past. Bit of an odd one. No one smirks on purpose. Left me wondering if everyone behind my back was talking of little other than how much they hated that smirking cunt. And if you don't know you are doing it then how do you stop doing it?

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #23 on: September 11, 2019, 10:42:08 AM »
Blimey, Jockice, that's a fuck of a lot the poor lass has on her plate there. There's not really a lot of loving empathy and desire to support her in what you've written. As thenoise wisely wrote, proving you're RIGHT isn't really going to help

I don't want to get into a debate about the menopause which is a natural process (personally, I loved it, it was like being on drugs) but there's no doubt some women have a bad time of it.  If you're, for example, gaining unwanted weight and bleeding like a stuck pig and not sleeping and snapping at anyone who crosses your path, you just want someone there at the end of a bad day (when you've had it up to here with your stroppy teens or your ailing parents or your challenging work) to make your supper and enfold you in their arms and tell you everything is going to be alright. So hacking across to a boyfriend in another town, someone who hardly ever rings and fiddles with his phone like a wordless teenager when your friends are round, and thinks 90% of what you say is bollocks, well I think the several people above who've said it's going nowhere, are right. Ending the relationship as kindly as possible now will mean she has one less thing to worry about.


Ah, but you only know the half of it. I too have my own personal pain and medical shit and have bad experiences and stuff like that, a lot of which she seems totally unconcerned by even if I told her. You know all that stuff about men never sharing their emotions, well I bloody tried. Most of the first four years were great but as I said, my outburst was over something that has happened more than once so she knew that I didn't like it. A lot of the time in the last year I've felt like I'm not even bottom of her list of priorities, I'm not on it at all. Even below the guinea pig. Although I am useful for providing things. And she also seems to expect me to be like her previous shitty partners. I really think that some women prefer bastards. Which I don't think I am.

Ta for your viewpoint though. Always interesting to see the other side. By my reckoning it probably is over, at least in its current form. But we're staying out of contact for a while (which probably includes my birthday) and see what, if anything, happens after that. No matter what, I can guarantee you lot won't be the first to know.


Cloud

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #24 on: September 11, 2019, 10:59:13 AM »
I'd say yeet her

Chollis

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #25 on: September 11, 2019, 11:08:54 AM »
hope it was proper Scottish Smirk



BlodwynPig

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #26 on: September 11, 2019, 12:10:37 PM »
I'd say yeet her

bgmnts will happily take her off Jockice's hands.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #27 on: September 11, 2019, 12:14:07 PM »
Menopause is a real fucker. My wife is all over the place (from mildly annoyed to unreasonable anger). She has been very good at recognizing that it is hormonal and often just sends me away.  I've been off sailing more than usual this year. You should take up sailing. Or maybe it is a cover story for infidelity, either way my race results have improved.

Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #28 on: September 11, 2019, 12:49:43 PM »
"When Did I smirk eh? WHEN?"


I misjudged Prit, she is desperately trying to save us all by steadfastly containing a swarm of deadly bees in her mouth!

Captain Z

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Re: Is smirking bad for you?
« Reply #29 on: September 11, 2019, 01:02:57 PM »
What's that old sketch based around no smoking/no smirking? Harry Enfield? Fast Show? Vic & Bob? I feel like one or two posts here are alluding to it but I can't find it via Google.