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Look, I'm Sorry About This

Started by Lisa Jesusandmarychain, September 11, 2019, 07:25:35 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Scoussasin could go round bumping off Liverpudlian celebrities in various inventive ways  like fatally shoving Tarby's  golf clubs up his arse, or something.

What a grand old way to start a new page.

Blue Jam

EPISODE 2: Scoussassin kills Ken Dodd with a ricin-tipped tickling stick.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

That was my blummin tablet rendering "Tarby" as "Gary". Bah.

Blue Jam

It's alright, I edited my post to make up for your tablet not knowing who Tarby is.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Blue Jam on September 12, 2019, 02:08:53 PM
EPISODE 2: Scoussassin kills Ken Dodd with a ricin-tipped tickling stick.

Scousassin: " Ken Dodd died"
Paul Hollwood: " Did he?"
Scoussasin: " Yeah, I killed the cunt."
* Paul Hollywood smiles wryly at Scousassin's dry , lovable Scouse wit*

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Blue Jam on September 12, 2019, 02:11:38 PM
It's alright, I edited my post to make up for your tablet not knowing who Tarby is.

Thanks, missus. Sorry for having a bit of a go at you the other day in that bullying thread, btw.Don't know why I've ended up putting my Scoussasin dialogue in the quote function thing, though. Eeeeh , what am I like?

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

'Ere, would Scoussasin be played by the Comer gal herself , then? If so , there could be a dead clever and post- modern scene in which , with clever split screen filming, Scousassin actually takes out La Comer herself. She could force feed her loads of pasta until she chokes, as a witty allusion to that hilarious anecdote yer woman told about during the filming of that scene in the second series of " Killing Eve", in which Villers defiantly eats a load of pasta in front of the baddy, she actually started choking on her spick victuals Beforehand, there could be a ten minute scene in which they both lez it up with each other.

Blue Jam

No worries, mister! x

EPISODE 3:
"Hello, CID? We've had reports that Scoussassin may have killed again, Ken Dodd could be her latest victim... Hang on, I've got another call coming though, I'll just put you on hold... Ah, hello, who is this? Oh Mr Dodd, I'm so sorry about your son... What? Not your dog as well..."

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Erm....She kills Ringo Starr, then afterwards says to herself " Not even the deadest member of The Beatles " ?

I need to think these through a bit more, I do suppose.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Like all scousers who found even a modicum of wealth and success, I'm sure she fucked off out of Liverpool and moved down south at the earliest opportunity.

mr. logic

Lives at home with her parents. She's ace.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: mr. logic on September 12, 2019, 04:43:53 PM
Lives at home with her parents. She's ace.
.
Yeah, she's not the Fucking Beatles or Cilla Black. Happy to live at home with her beloved parents and brother. What a lovely lass she is.

Cardenio I


Elderly Sumo Prophecy

I don't live that far from Liverpool. I could go and root around in her bins if you want. See what I can dredge up.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

It's not her *bins* I'd like to root around in, matey

YOU LEAVE HER BINS ALONE!

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Two people have said " mate" to me in this thread. Cause for concern?

I'll " quite transparently and pathetically trying to keep this thread at the top of the page, what kind of way is that for a grown man to behave?" * you* in a minute, sunshine.

Cardenio I


Lisa Jesusandmarychain

#47
I was at the pub again last night, and yer woman mentioned in the first post was there again, and, Crikey, she doesn't half look like Her Who Plays Villanelle. Almost took a picture in order to put it up on here as proof. Everyone who I spoke to about this agreed that I was an annoying cunt and a tragic mid- life crisis case that she looks very much like Her Who Plays Villanelle.

shiftwork2

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on September 15, 2019, 08:58:21 AM
Almost took a picture in order to put it up on here as proof.

Thanks for not doing that.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

No worries, mate. Thanks for following, and responding to, this thread! ;-)

a duncandisorderly

I want to see this barmaid. sort it out or close the thread, ffs.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: a duncandisorderly on September 15, 2019, 09:16:11 AM
I want to see this barmaid. sort it out or close the thread, ffs.

Hey, wouldn't it be funny if that group comprising Franz Ferdinand and Sparks responded to this post, saying " What are you asking us for? ". They'd have to register on this forum especially to do that! They could put up a picture of them looking nonplussed and shrugging their shoulders to accompany the post, and yer man Duncers could respond with " That's not what I meant at all , you pesky Mael brothers and has- been Scots Indie combo! You Mael siblings, bugger off and go and dye your hair again! Go on, piss off! I mean it! " Then ffs could respond with " there's no need for that, mate." , and Dunco could say " Yeah  sorry, that was a bit much, just in a bit of a mood today, soz.", and a more civilised discourse could then take place between us CABbers and that interesting beat combo, we could all end up becoming good mates with them, they might even write a song dedicated to us bunch of ' Erberts. That would be an interesting turn of events, wouldn't it?

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on September 15, 2019, 09:24:11 AM
Hey, wouldn't it be funny if that group comprising Franz Ferdinand and Sparks responded to this post, saying " What are you asking us for? ". They'd have to register on this forum especially to do that! They could put up a picture of them looking nonplussed and shrugging their shoulders to accompany the post, and yer man Duncers could respond with " That's not what I meant at all , you pesky Mael brothers and has- been Scots Indie combo! You Mael siblings, bugger off and go and dye your hair again! Go on, piss off! I mean it! " Then ffs could respond with " there's no need for that, mate." , and a more civilised discourse could take place between us CABbers and that interesting beat combo, we could all end up becoming good mates with them, they might even write a song dedicated to us bunch of ' Erberts. That would be an interesting turn of events, wouldn't it?

actually I've been a fan of sparks since 1974, & I've seen FF live, not long after they were signed (I know their manager). but this is not getting us the proof of thy barmaid's resemblance to judy cromer.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: a duncandisorderly on September 15, 2019, 09:26:25 AM
actually I've been a fan of sparks since 1974, & I've seen FF live, not long after they were signed (I know their manager). but this is not getting us the proof of thy barmaid's resemblance to judy cromer.

Ok, mate, I'll see what I can do. Since 1974? How old are you ?

a duncandisorderly


Lisa Jesusandmarychain

28 + VAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😁😂🤣😹
I'm going to wager that you were a precocious youth what started liking Sparks from the age of 6, or something. This beats mine own being a big ol'  fan of The Fall since 1980, so fair play to yer.


touchingcloth

Quote from: Blue Jam on September 12, 2019, 01:48:42 PM
Watched the first four episodes of Killing Eve recently. While Villanelle is indeed very pretty, she is also a bit annoying, sorry. I am blaming Phoebe Waller-Bridge for this though.

Wait, is it always Killing Eve LJAMC is going on about? I thought it was The Bodyguard for some reason.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: touchingcloth on September 15, 2019, 10:41:57 AM
Wait, is it always Killing Eve LJAMC is going on about? I thought it was The Bodyguard for some reason.

I think Kevin Coroner's fit as fuck as well, to be fair.
Am not changing my tablet's rendering of yer man's name.

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on September 15, 2019, 11:09:04 AM
I think Kevin Coroner's fit as fuck as well, to be fair.

haha you mean kevin costco