Author Topic: Mike Ashley  (Read 894 times)

Mike Ashley
« on: September 11, 2019, 10:24:29 PM »
Is he the biggest, fattest cockney cunt grifter going?

The absolute state of him.

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2019, 10:28:13 PM »
he's merely a symptom of the greater cancer.

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2019, 10:28:44 PM »
Of course but he's a paticularly malignant tumour.

Captain Z

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2019, 10:29:07 PM »
RIP

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2019, 10:30:20 PM »
the cancer i'm speaking is of course capitalism sportswear being considered appropriate casual clothing.

kngen

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2019, 10:35:46 PM »
He does at least provide me with the answer to the question that has been plaguing me all my life: Who do you hate more: a rapacious, greedy, carpet-bagging vulture-capitalist cunt with no regard for the dignity and wellbeing of the poor bastards who work for him … or Rangers?



I'll let you know the answer once I've polished off the gallon of tea in my ridiculously over-sized Sports Direct mug.

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2019, 10:38:41 PM »

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2019, 10:45:05 PM »
Sports Direct didn't invent big mugs; they've been around for years.

imitationleather

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2019, 10:46:16 PM »
Here is a prime example of a big mug that's been around for years: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=6

imitationleather

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2019, 10:47:42 PM »
Here is a prime example of a big mug that's been around for years: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=6

Oh? Why's that then?

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2019, 10:51:29 PM »
He does at least provide me with the answer to the question that has been plaguing me all my life: Who do you hate more: a rapacious, greedy, carpet-bagging vulture-capitalist cunt with no regard for the dignity and wellbeing of the poor bastards who work for him … or Rangers?



I'll let you know the answer once I've polished off the gallon of tea in my ridiculously over-sized Sports Direct mug.

Rangers, but that doesn't say much about Ashley to be honest.

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2019, 06:02:45 AM »
Given the fact I’m from Newcastle, I could happily add a long rant to this thread.

But I won’t for now.  I’ll just say that the man is symptomatic of everything wrong with the consumer capitalist age we live in: a stack-it-high-sell-it-cheap shithouse; a workers-rights abusing twat; a man who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.  He is the apex of all that is shit about the post-Thatcher UK.  It’s already been mentioned that he’s a carpetbagger; that’s how he’s viewed by many on Tyneside.  Destroying the focal point of a once proud industrial heartland with tacky advertising and a penchant for abysmal decisions.  A Dickensian figure for the zero-hours generation.

All in all, he’s a 21st Century cunt.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2019, 07:41:47 AM »
A pus filled fibroma.

I hope he is force ten fumigated off the face of the belsen tier temporal plane that still enables his existence.


BlodwynPig

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2019, 07:56:05 AM »
The saviour of NUFC, chortle.

Sadly Brown Bottle is correct regarding his (and previous chairmen of NUFC) corrosive influence on the city

Paul Calf

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2019, 08:00:10 AM »
I'm banned from all of his shops.

The saviour of NUFC, chortle.

Sadly Brown Bottle is correct regarding his (and previous chairmen of NUFC) corrosive influence on the city

Some say that Mike Ashley actually is Brown Bottle and that he's merely controlled opposition.

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #15 on: September 12, 2019, 08:56:56 AM »
I'm banned from all of his shops.


Why?

alan nagsworth

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #16 on: September 12, 2019, 09:01:43 AM »
Legend

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #17 on: September 12, 2019, 09:20:53 AM »
I'm banned from all of his shops.

Some say that Mike Ashley actually is Brown Bottle and that he's merely controlled opposition.

HOW DARE YOU SIR

Ah’ll tek yez aal etc

In all fairness, I am a fat git who hates Mike Ashley’s Newcastle United.  So we are like two peas in a pod, Mikey boy and me.  Difference is that I want to love the club again.

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #18 on: September 12, 2019, 01:37:39 PM »
I like him and think he's good.

Of course, I'm contrary as fuck, so

Blue Jam

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #19 on: September 12, 2019, 01:45:06 PM »
Ahem...

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,69874.0.html

I'm not a fan of his work. Apart from that time he bought Jack Wills. That was funny.

Beagle 2

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #20 on: September 12, 2019, 02:02:23 PM »
I once had an awkward pre-arranged hetrosexual bloke date in the hope of making a new friend in a strange town with a real life Geordie Newcastle fan. I thought my opening rant about Mike Ashley being a cunt would be a crowd-pleaser. He looked digusted and replied "He's a good businessman, like".

And that man is now my wife.

Glebe

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #21 on: September 12, 2019, 05:08:21 PM »
I like that song he did in the '80s that became a meme.

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #22 on: September 13, 2019, 01:33:11 AM »

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #23 on: September 13, 2019, 08:15:06 AM »
Mike Ashley

A gibbering foetid dwarven pustule moving pieces of litter around a salvaged paddling pool.

Mike Ashley

A globulous grease encasement faithfully reenacting King Kong on a soiled lego set 

Mike Ashley

Pol Pot and Augustus Gloop mind-shart

Mike Ashley

A swollen arthritic dog torpidly descending an escarpment in search of a putrid nappy

Mike Ashley

The human India rubber ball with the density and mass of a medium sized Essex dormitory village will dance for you today on air, permanently crippling anything it makes contact with

Mike Ashley

An opportunistically purloined zen garden repurposed and now hosting a live screening of the same episode of Mrs Brown's Boys forever

Mike Ashley

Watch as this puce retail Mugabe leers over his worker ants suicidally churning his exacting order: a panoply of turds in shoeboxes voided from a Dante-tier assembly line

Mike Ashley

The mecha-henge of malodorous atrophied oblongs barks out a series of crude verbal molestations from the panoramic overlook of a mid-level boardroom in a condemned industrial estate.

Mike Ashley

The world record for volume of Smegma sequestered in an anthropomorphic waterballoon is smashed, obliterated, sublimed, and inscribed via 99p Sports Direct permanent marker on St Peter's bell ring for eternity.

Mike Ashley

An aggressively pickled goose egg festering in a bell jar of sick, the aborted spark of new life and innocence extinguished, its nascence trapped in stasis and now, for you dear customer, exhibited on a sub Dave-channel funded buddy road trip of the UK presented by Rory McGrath.

Mike Ashley

A cackling tumourous protruberance downing pint after pint of children's tears, content atop his throne of bilious limbs and unsold umbrellas.

Mike Ashley

An abnormal growth of tissue resulting from uncontrolled, progressive multiplication of cells and serving no physiological function; a neoplasm.

Mike Ashley

A divorced pork renderer ceaselessly attempting to revive his vestigial lifeless appendage in a Brentwood twilight vigil.

Mike Ashley

A gurning porn magnate excreting a fountain of mangled horse cum from its subterranean ballsack like a retirement age fire hydrant.

Mike Ashley

That jarring all consuming stubbed toe pain abstracted and given a set of new, horrifying objectives.

Mike Ashley

The doughy belm of an accidentally prosperous simpleton splayed global on the worn fabric of a seized hot air balloon.

Mike Ashley

A colo-rectal issues mungworm slithering its bright fleshy wand betwixt the great many chain smoked remnants of marriage crisis middle management cigarettes in the permanent and profound gloam of a spoiled existential lay by.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #24 on: September 13, 2019, 08:21:29 AM »
Mike Ashley

A gibbering foetid dwarven pustule moving pieces of litter around a salvaged paddling pool.

Mike Ashley

A globulous grease encasement faithfully reenacting King Kong on a soiled lego set 

Mike Ashley

Pol Pot and Augustus Gloop mind-shart

Mike Ashley

A swollen arthritic dog torpidly descending an escarpment in search of a putrid nappy

Mike Ashley

The human India rubber ball with the density and mass of a medium sized Essex dormitory village will dance for you today on air, permanently crippling anything it makes contact with

Mike Ashley

An opportunistically purloined zen garden repurposed and now hosting a live screening of the same episode of Mrs Brown's Boys forever

Mike Ashley

Watch as this puce retail Mugabe leers over his worker ants suicidally churning his exacting order: a panoply of turds in shoeboxes voided from a Dante-tier assembly line

Mike Ashley

The mecha-henge of malodorous atrophied oblongs barks out a series of crude verbal molestations from the panoramic overlook of a mid-level boardroom in a condemned industrial estate.

Mike Ashley

The world record for volume of Smegma sequestered in an anthropomorphic waterballoon is smashed, obliterated, sublimed, and inscribed via 99p Sports Direct permanent marker on St Peter's bell ring for eternity.

Mike Ashley

An aggressively pickled goose egg festering in a bell jar of sick, the aborted spark of new life and innocence extinguished, its nascence trapped in stasis and now, for you dear customer, exhibited on a sub Dave-channel funded buddy road trip of the UK presented by Rory McGrath.

Mike Ashley

A cackling tumourous protruberance downing pint after pint of children's tears, content atop his throne of bilious limbs and unsold umbrellas.

Mike Ashley

An abnormal growth of tissue resulting from uncontrolled, progressive multiplication of cells and serving no physiological function; a neoplasm.

Mike Ashley

A divorced pork renderer ceaselessly attempting to revive his vestigial lifeless appendage in a Brentwood twilight vigil.

Mike Ashley

A gurning porn magnate excreting a fountain of mangled horse cum from its subterranean ballsack like a retirement age fire hydrant.

Mike Ashley

That jarring all consuming stubbed toe pain abstracted and given a set of new, horrifying objectives.

Mike Ashley

The doughy belm of an accidentally prosperous simpleton splayed global on the worn fabric of a seized hot air balloon.

Mike Ashley

A colo-rectal issues mungworm slithering its bright fleshy wand betwixt the great many chain smoked remnants of marriage crisis middle management cigarettes in the permanent and profound gloam of a spoiled existential lay by.

..but having said that, what he has done for the toon has been immense

Lost Oliver

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #25 on: September 13, 2019, 08:39:28 AM »
Two promotions in ten years, can't complain.

As for wearing shitty sportswear stuff as casual clothing out on the street... that's me! I started about six months and I'm not sure what to do about it. It's so comfy and I feel a little bit like the hardies must've felt when I was growing up. The ones who had the money and attitude. I reckon I'm just catching up on missed youth. I just worry that this'll be it forever from now on. I still want to grow as a person but when you come face-to-face with comfort where is there to go? I would walk around nude but that's frowned upon isn't it.

Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #26 on: September 13, 2019, 08:46:29 AM »
Mike Ashley

A gibbering foetid dwarven pustule moving pieces of litter around a salvaged paddling pool.

Mike Ashley

A globulous grease encasement faithfully reenacting King Kong on a soiled lego set 

Mike Ashley

Pol Pot and Augustus Gloop mind-shart

Mike Ashley

A swollen arthritic dog torpidly descending an escarpment in search of a putrid nappy

Mike Ashley

The human India rubber ball with the density and mass of a medium sized Essex dormitory village will dance for you today on air, permanently crippling anything it makes contact with

Mike Ashley

An opportunistically purloined zen garden repurposed and now hosting a live screening of the same episode of Mrs Brown's Boys forever

Mike Ashley

Watch as this puce retail Mugabe leers over his worker ants suicidally churning his exacting order: a panoply of turds in shoeboxes voided from a Dante-tier assembly line

Mike Ashley

The mecha-henge of malodorous atrophied oblongs barks out a series of crude verbal molestations from the panoramic overlook of a mid-level boardroom in a condemned industrial estate.

Mike Ashley

The world record for volume of Smegma sequestered in an anthropomorphic waterballoon is smashed, obliterated, sublimed, and inscribed via 99p Sports Direct permanent marker on St Peter's bell ring for eternity.

Mike Ashley

An aggressively pickled goose egg festering in a bell jar of sick, the aborted spark of new life and innocence extinguished, its nascence trapped in stasis and now, for you dear customer, exhibited on a sub Dave-channel funded buddy road trip of the UK presented by Rory McGrath.

Mike Ashley

A cackling tumourous protruberance downing pint after pint of children's tears, content atop his throne of bilious limbs and unsold umbrellas.

Mike Ashley

An abnormal growth of tissue resulting from uncontrolled, progressive multiplication of cells and serving no physiological function; a neoplasm.

Mike Ashley

A divorced pork renderer ceaselessly attempting to revive his vestigial lifeless appendage in a Brentwood twilight vigil.

Mike Ashley

A gurning porn magnate excreting a fountain of mangled horse cum from its subterranean ballsack like a retirement age fire hydrant.

Mike Ashley

That jarring all consuming stubbed toe pain abstracted and given a set of new, horrifying objectives.

Mike Ashley

The doughy belm of an accidentally prosperous simpleton splayed global on the worn fabric of a seized hot air balloon.

Mike Ashley

A colo-rectal issues mungworm slithering it
s bright fleshy wand betwixt the great many chain smoked remnants of marriage crisis middle management cigarettes in the permanent and profound gloam of a spoiled existential lay by.


V good

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Mike Ashley
« Reply #27 on: September 13, 2019, 01:02:43 PM »
Quote
V good

Cheers poo