Main Menu

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 01:11:12 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Gold toilet stolen

Started by Fambo Number Mive, September 15, 2019, 01:02:02 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Fambo Number Mive

Given how stretched and overworked the police are, it does seem astonishing that a DI is in charge of investigating the theft of an expensive artwork from a country house.

Yes, it caused extensive damage and flooding, but if police forces were properly answerable to the public, rather than the Home Secretary or Police and Crime Commissioners, would so much resources be wasted on this?

I imagine that if anyone is sentenced they will get a much severer sentence than anyone who stole from the general public and damaged their house in the process would get.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-49706425

QuoteDet Insp Jess Milne said: "We are following a number of lines of inquiry and there will continue to be a police presence in and around the area of Blenheim Palace while our investigations continue.

Apparently members of public were able to use the toilet while it was being displayed. Does poo and wee tarnish gold?

Would you have used the gold toilet if you were visiitng Blenheim Palace that day? I'm not sure I would.

idunnosomename

i imagine there's a great big queue and you only get three minutes. hardly time for a nice relaxing poo. and how to time it so you're ready to drop and dont shit your pants in the line?

anyway surely the problem with a gold toilet is you can't have direct surveillance on it. unless you're chuck berry

Shoulders?-Stomach!

#2
Love the BBCs deadpan report of the owner saying it would be bloody hard to nick so no point spending further money securing it.

touchingcloth

My cock is stretched and overworked by the time I've finished with brushing my teeth.

Flatulent Fox

Great stuff - I applaud this Cabber for this post.

Also applause to whomever liberated all this gold - What have you got there Derek?

A fucking golden toilet mate.Nice isn't it.

But it comes at a great cost - you'll have to redecorate the bathroom so it's not all beer and skittles.

Quote

Not just any gold khazi, it's Churchill's gold khazi.

Is this what we defeated Nazism and liberated Europe for? So Sir Winston's solid gold shitter can be filched?

Replies From View

I like to take my shits in something altogether less gaudy, Arnold.

popcorn

Imagine doing a shit in it and looking down at your turd in it, in all the gold.

Sebastian Cobb

You wouldn't want to go in there after Churchill had been in there would you?

Fambo Number Mive

Imagine if that gold, instead of being made into a toilet, had been sold and the money used to help people.

No, let's poo and wee on it instead.

Sums up the mentality in this country.

Lordofthefiles

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on September 15, 2019, 06:10:55 PM
Imagine if that gold, instead of being made into a toilet, had been sold and the money used to help people.

No, let's poo and wee on it instead.

Sums up the mentality in this country.

I don't actually believe that it was an exhibit.
I reckon the cunts had bought it to use and have had to have a story hastily assembled so they don't look like the ultimate pisstaking fucking bastad cunts that they are.

Sebastian Cobb

I bet Donald has a golden throne. He's got gold sinks and his plane had gold plated seat belt clasps. The gaudy twat.

Captain Z

Blows my mind that you could just steal something like this from one of the country's most famous buildings in this day and age.

imitationleather

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on September 15, 2019, 06:24:51 PM
I bet Donald has a golden throne. He's got gold sinks and his plane had gold plated seat belt clasps. The gaudy twat.

Apparently the gallery which previously displayed the toilet asked Trump if he wanted to buy it.

FWIW: I like it. I think the toilet is good art.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Captain Z on September 15, 2019, 06:27:24 PM
Blows my mind that you could just steal something like this from one of the country's most famous buildings in this day and age.

Probably had overalls.

Flatulent Fox

QuoteThe artwork, named America, was created by Italian conceptual artist Maurizio Cattelan, and drew large crowds when it was exhibited at the Guggenheim Museum in New York. 


This man decided it was a great idea to make the gold toilet

QuoteThames Valley Police have arrested a 66-year-old man in connection with the incident, which happened at about 4.50am this morning, but say they believe a group was working with 'at least' two vehicles to pull it off.
This has Mook's fingerprints all over it.

QuotePolice are trying to track down the toilet, and have appealed to anybody who may have 'heard something suspicious.'

https://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/17902946.maurizio-cattelans-gold-toilet-stolen-blenheim-palace/

This is the best bit of decent news in years.

Cloud

That exhibit must have stunk...

But seriously I think we must have found the most first world problem ever.

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on September 15, 2019, 06:10:55 PM
Imagine if that gold, instead of being made into a toilet, had been sold and the money used to help people.

No, let's poo and wee on it instead.

Sums up the metal in this country.

there, that's better.

idunnosomename

haha imagine. a gold toilet. called america. im an artist

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quotethey believe a group was working with 'at least' two vehicles to pull it off.

Ian Botham will do anything for an orgasm these days

alan nagsworth

If the thieves haven't rigged the golden toilet up as a giant bong yet then frankly I hope they're caught and strung up for insulting such a resplendent piece of art by not turning it into a massive bong in the time following its ensnarement

non capisco

QuoteDet Insp Jess Milne said: "We are following a number of lines of inquiry and there will continue to be a police presence in and around the area of Blenheim Palace while our investigations continue. However...wait for it, wait for it....at the moment we have nothing to go on!!!!!!"


Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: alan nagsworth on September 16, 2019, 09:52:06 PM
If the thieves haven't rigged the golden toilet up as a giant bong yet then frankly I hope they're caught and strung up for insulting such a resplendent piece of art by not turning it into a massive bong in the time following its ensnarement

Imagine having a big old lungful of it only to realise Winston Churchill had, at one point, after too much port and red meat, given it the full 'flock of sparrows leaving a bush' treatment.

imitationleather

Apparently it was most likely the artist himself who stole it?

Most whimsical joke of the season.

non capisco

It looks like C3PO's shithouse. I can imagine him pissing oil into it and saying 'Ohhhh, thank the maker!'

Flatulent Fox

Quote from: imitationleather on September 16, 2019, 10:40:59 PM
Apparently it was most likely the artist himself who stole it?

Most whimsical joke of the season.

Who decided to authorize the bullion's use ...to give to a lunatic..to cast this toilet?




idunnosomename

Quote from: imitationleather on September 16, 2019, 10:40:59 PM
Apparently it was most likely the artist himself who stole it?

Most whimsical joke of the season.
thing being nicked is the most interesting thing that this hacky piece of art has going for it

Replies From View

Quote from: imitationleather on September 16, 2019, 10:40:59 PM
Apparently it was most likely the artist himself who stole it?

Most whimsical joke of the season.

He needs all that shit and piss for his next artwork.  Personally I preferred Banksy's self-shredding wank shroud.

Flatulent Fox

So let's have an update on this.Someone spoke to the nutter..

QuoteCattelan, who has nurtured a reputation as an art world jokester, insisted the theft was not a prank of his own devising. He told the New York Times:I wish it was a prank.
" At first, when they woke me up this morning with the news, I thought it was a prank: Who's so stupid to steal a toilet? I had forgotten for a second that it was made out of gold".

Then they needed more information...

QuoteAccording to Peter Pienta, a precious metals dealer consulted by the Times, based on the weight of the work and the current value of gold, America could be worth upwards of $4 million if it were melted down. Pienta added:

    "That is a very, very valuable toilet [. . .] If they had a refinery or gold smelting equipment ready, it could be melted into gold bars in days and there would be no way to trace them. They could really go into any place that would buy a bullion".

Oh well,that's that then.

https://www.artsy.net/news/artsy-editorial-maurizio-cattelans-solid-gold-toilet-stolen-british-palace



idunnosomename

It seems no one gets uptight about modern art being cleverdick unfunny shit anymore. It's like brexit made us give up on culture